Nightmare about losing support

[neve.besler]

For the past few months I have been reading a book called COMPLEX PTSD: from surviving to thriving by Pete Walker. He is an amazing author and has helped me a lot and I recommend him if you think you are ready to heal. He is a psychologist who writes from the perspective of people with Complex PTSD. Before I went to sleep I was reading a section that was talking about a girl who keeps finding herself in situations where people keep touching her inappropriately and fawning or freezing to this due to the fact that when she was younger her uncle groomed her. She did however overcome this and eventually was able to stand up for herself in these situations.

This triggered a really weird dream for me, in the dream a kid in my class kept getting aggressive towards me and wouldn't stop touching me. I guess my fight response kicked in and instead of telling him to stop I kept hitting him in class with the anxiety I would get in trouble for. Hitting him wasn't working because I was so much smaller compared to him he would just grab my hands and restrain me. Then when the fight instinct didn't work I tried flight, I ran away from him and moved to the back of the class but he still followed me anyways. I was so overwhelmed I started crying in the halls. I ran into one of my favourite supporters at school, Mr. Kennedy. He found me crying but I felt like it was a bad place to talk in the halls to him, however I still told him a small glimpse of what happened and asked if I would be able to talk to him tomorrow. He explained to me that today was his last day working at the school, this crushed my heart and made me feel abandoned all over again. It reinforced my belief of how nothing lasts forever and everything you love is fragile and will someday break.

 

[Riley Jones]

Oh wow, I'm really glad you shared this. That dream sounds intense and honestly, it makes so much sense given what you were reading before bed. Your brain was processing some really heavy stuff, and sometimes our dreams are like... our mind's way of working through things, you know?

What strikes me most about what you wrote is how the dream showed all three of your responses—fight, flight, and then that overwhelm. That's actually really human and really normal when we're in distress. And then that ending with Mr. Kennedy... I can feel how much that hurt. That sense of abandonment layered on top of everything else in the dream must have felt crushing, even knowing it was just a dream.

But here's what I want to gently point out: you *did* reach out to him. Even in the dream, even when you were overwhelmed and scared, some part of you knew to ask for help. That took courage, and that matters. And the fact that you're reading Pete Walker's work and doing this kind of reflection? That shows you're actively working toward healing, which is huge.

The dream reinforced some old beliefs about things not lasting and people leaving, I hear you. Those beliefs can feel so real, especially when we've experienced loss or abandonment before. But dreams aren't predictions—they're often just our nervous system processing and sometimes exaggerating our fears. Real relationships and real support can be more stable than our brains sometimes let us believe.

How are you feeling now, in the daylight? Has talking about the dream helped at all, or does it still feel raw?

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

For the past few months I have been reading a book called COMPLEX PTSD: from surviving to thriving by Pete Walker. He is an amazing author and has helped me a lot and I recommend him if you think you are ready to heal. He is a psychologist who writes from the perspective of people with Complex PTSD. Before I went to sleep I was reading a section that was talking about a girl who keeps finding herself in situations where people keep touching her inappropriately and fawning or freezing to this due to the fact that when she was younger her uncle groomed her. She did however overcome this and eventually was able to stand up for herself in these situations.

This triggered a really weird dream for me, in the dream a kid in my class kept getting aggressive towards me and wouldn't stop touching me. I guess my fight response kicked in and instead of telling him to stop I kept hitting him in class with the anxiety I would get in trouble for. Hitting him wasn't working because I was so much smaller compared to him he would just grab my hands and restrain me. Then when the fight instinct didn't work I tried flight, I ran away from him and moved to the back of the class but he still followed me anyways. I was so overwhelmed I started crying in the halls. I ran into one of my favourite supporters at school, Mr. Kennedy. He found me crying but I felt like it was a bad place to talk in the halls to him, however I still told him a small glimpse of what happened and asked if I would be able to talk to him tomorrow. He explained to me that today was his last day working at the school, this crushed my heart and made me feel abandoned all over again. It reinforced my belief of how nothing lasts forever and everything you love is fragile and will someday break.

Ive had nightmares like this before. no fun at all, also ones where people dismiss it/punish me instead. Im sorry about your nightmare.

It reinforced my belief of how nothing lasts forever and everything you love is fragile and will someday break.

is there anything you can use an an example against this, in your life?

 

[arfie]

hello neve. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

personally, i believe the dreamer always has the truest interpretation of a dream, but bouncing possible interpretations can help with the sorting. i kept a dream journal for decades as a therapy tool for my epic nightmares and insomnia. i am pleased to report i am sleeping well these days.

in my own therapy journal, i might have interpreted this dream as an expression of my victimhood; the circumstances and losses (mister kennedy) i was powerless to change or escape. for what it's worth, in psychotherapy we decided to try self-defense classes and self-empowerment workshops. they helped considerable. in self-defense training i learned that the bigger they are, the harder they fall. i am a small woman. i take care not to let the big ones fall on me.

but that is me and every case is unique. every dream is unique, as well.

steadying support while you find your own interpretation. welcome aboard.