Recent content by Hush92

Hi! I haven't posted on here in ages. I was diagnosed with PTSD at the age of I think 22. My PTSD was caused due to the symptoms of my mental illness, which is schizoaffective disorder (one of the psychotic disorders). It turns out a lifetime of being tormented/abused/tortured by hallucinations...

Hi and welcome! I would like to say that while childhood sexual play/discovery among peers (ie both parties within a few years of the other or the same age, and it is "consensual" for both) *is* a normal part of development for many, and not something to be ashamed of, trauma is in the eye of...

It seems to be the one aspect of ptsd I can't beat....I will have a nightmare about the past or sometimes nothing particular happens at all....and then I can't stop ruminating on all the bad things that have happened to me all day. It makes me very depressed and disturbed and I end up eating...

Not brave, I didn't have a choice. Had to move back home with family after college. Literally as soon as I can I want to leave here. I still dissociate in very familiar areas. At least we're not on the same side of town. I've avoided our old street like the plague. I was exercising regularly...

Several months ago there was a situation that triggered my psychosis (not stress induced, my sleep got thrown off on a vacation) and the psychosis of course triggered my ptsd, which had finally calmed down after my move back to my hometown where all my initial worst traumatic experiences...

My therapist hasn't brought it back up for a while now. She thinks I have DID....I don't really think I have it though.

Anyone have any tips for this? I really do want to be in a relationship again but when it comes down to physical intimacy it's like my body freaks out like all the bad stuff is going on again even if mentally I know I'm fine and it's not. It's like that habitual feeling of "I've got to fight...

My therapist introduced me to it a while ago and I did research on it and it seemed really promising and supported. So I was excited to start. It took a while because I was unstable at the time so she waited for me to be more level. It was weird because during the session I actually barely felt...

Sadly I have tried all of that before and then when I go to try to sleep it starts up again. However I think albatross made a good point about the need to break compulsions, I will bring this up with my therapist and maybe she can help me find a suitable way to interrupt and reroute the activity.

Hmmm I've done a version of that now that I think about it. This will be a little TMI but if I get myself off before I go to bed, sometimes I don't get that same anxiety, I think it's sort of tricking my brain into thinking the stuff already happened. But it is frustrating because I'm not always...

I don't want to go into much detail but during my abuse I was forced into a certain position every time before it would start. Eventually it got to where I would assume that position automatically before going to sleep at night because I was just tired of fighting it and wanted to get it over...

Thanks, I guess this makes sense. Maybe when I was so far away from it all in my other home it was easier to bury some things and not deal with them and here that became harder to do. It's exhausting because it's been about 6 years since I've been safe and I'm just wondering at what point will I...

I have been in a really bad state for the past couple months. I left this forum a while back because I really felt like I had healed and conquered ptsd. But then I learned we would be moving back to my old hometown where I had many traumatic and painful experiences. I started getting nightmares...

Yes she knows it's an issue I have. That is a good point about it implies I've been wondering. However I had not been thinking about that that day it was not anywhere in my mind. I was not under stress, I was doing very well. I was watching nothing that could have set it off. Really just...

The other night I had a very dark nightmare. In it I was working on some sort of project with my uncle. This ended up turning into us having sex for some reason?! As the sex happened the dream changed and I suddenly became a child. Then it changed again and became an old timey cartoon and I...