Recent content by marto

Original poster-must have not been logged in. I never thought of it like the drinking and driving analogy you gave. I do realize when I left it was a fight or flight response. It was like I was suffocating with pressure. I just reacted like I do in other conflict situations. I really need to...

Yes, we went to a social worker and 2 therapists. One recommended that I try to be successful independently. He think because of the childhood trauma I missed out becoming an adult in a healthy way and I agree. It's like I'm still chasing being a late teen and young adult even though that was...

Just a month ago on New Years day I walked out on my fiance. It was like I had no control over myself. I snapped "Im done" and started to leave. I knew I needed to calm down but I was stubborn and needed some space. I potsed a couple of years ago about my relationship with her and it has...

Thanks.

I wouldn't say I wished that we never got back together. Thanks, I will check out his books. She's been really patient with me but today I left after we argued. I can't figure it out and I'm out of energy trying too. I feel comfortable being by myself even if it leaves me stagnant. I can...

Hi, I posted here awhile back and just again recently but I still had taken my issues seriously enough. I had both a good and a horrible childhood in my opinion. It wasn't all bad but from about 14 to 18 it was a nightmare. I lived alone in a house full of cats, we had over 20 of them at one...

Right now I feel like an imposter and a user. This is my first true relationship where I've lived with a woman I'm dating. I'm also 40 and never been married or have kids. We've been together for 3 years and have been living together for 2 more. Even though their is structure here and we...

I think her idolizing him is simultaneously being disloyal to you but she probably doesn't think of it that way.

Any type of rudeness is a major one. Judgments, impulsivity, crowds. Any kind of abrasiveness I ready myself for fight or flight. I gotta minimize it. It mostly revolves around people and not so much situations. I analyze every situation like I'm looking for a solution to a formula. There...

Thank you. I will check out those worksheets. I never talked with a therapist about writing out these patterns. Sometimes I don't recognize them but I know that at times I'm putting myself in these situations without realizing it.

Well, in recreational adult hockey there is no checking and fighting is frowned upon unlike full contact hockey. There are guys in there 70's playing with guys in there 20's. So alot of these people are just there to play the game without the physicality of hard hits and just have fun. It's...

It happened again but even worse with a different player. We had a play off game this Sunday and there was this big malicious guy on the other team. About 15 minutes into the game he waited after a face off to skate over and shoved me down. The puck was nowhere near me and he waited for...

Discard him. He is toxic and cannot stop it. Tell him to go see a therapist he wants to vent.

Thanks for the advice. That's exactly how I felt. Mad at myself for putting my guard down and then not doing anything about it when it happened. The more I think about it I realize I shouldn't even being trying to rationalize someone's irrational and excessive behavior towards me. I just get...

I'm rarely triggered anymore, however, in a hockey game a couple of weeks ago I had a teammate who is generally mild mannered get in my face, yelling and cussing me out for making a bad play. A play that I thought was the right decision. I already felt bad and his behavior was excessive given...