Triggered during game

[marto]

Looking at those patterns sounds wise. I guess you could maybe view the sport as a hothouse exposing those areas you still need to deal with.
Totally relate to being totally set off by someone suddenly showing an aggressive or untrustworthy side when I have let my gaurd down a little. It can send me spiralling badly down into the depths in an extreme way. Happened last December and took me 3 months of hard work to get any footing again after. Which makes me hate myself of course. ?

Can you identify the hot spots you have in this stuff that sets you off? I always find that useful to know. I also try as much as is humanly possible to separate hypervilant thinking from objective perspectives once it is set off. Very very much easier said than done.

Any type of rudeness is a major one. Judgments, impulsivity, crowds. Any kind of abrasiveness I ready myself for fight or flight. I gotta minimize it. It mostly revolves around people and not so much situations. I analyze every situation like I'm looking for a solution to a formula. There are very few people where I don't do this with. I'm becoming more concious of my overanalyzing things and my reactions to it but it's difficult to not err on the side of extreme caution. I feel like a robot sometimes. I also beat myself up if I feel I didn't handle myself perfectly and it's just perfect acting half the time. I worry about doing the wrong thing with people constantly to the point I'd rather avoid most people.