Recent content by Orangesfrompears

Thanks for your reply. No she hasn’t had a diagnosis and she would say she is just fine. She did share with me the other day that talking about stressful things makes her want to vomit. I’m much more clear I need to split up with her.

Hi all, this is a sort of venty processing, I welcome your input. 3 year relationship (both female). She comes from a neglectful and chaotic background. She is v functional in all areas except communication and intimacy. She has traits similar to Autism, I’d chalked up our communication issues...

Does your wife have a diagnosis of BPD?

My ex, is a woman (28) who is a womanizer. History of C/A and neglect, clear pattern in my opinion, of constant numbing through activities and always onto the next woman. There are casulties along the way. I can name 7 just this year. She knows herself enough to know shortly after it begins, her...

Recently I was reading a thread on here which gave a link to this Somatic perspectives on psychotherapy podcast It’s a podcast that talks about the importance of the sufferer using compassion as a tool to help integrate themselves. So, I asked my sufferer, about the time we spent together the...

How to balance a need to not make a plan - because she doesn’t know how she will feel and prefers to go with the moment - and my need to arrange meeting and not be waiting till she has the whim to see me? Does that make sense?

Thanks, I appreciate your reply, and yes it makes sense. I guess I’m scared to push, it might (and has) pushed her away in the past. I’ve been trying poly since a bit before we got together, she is more just confused than poly... @EveHarrington when they let you yo-yo them... did it mean you...

No I’m not, but yes I can accept it as part of the pattern. I hope in time she will trust me.... a bit.... Probably I’m contributing to the on/off, but I haven’t worked out how. I do have a strong belief though, that I stay stable and consistent, that perhaps she will walk forward to me. Because...

Thankyou. She is the instigator of the on/off thing. We have a polyamorous relationship. She is able to have sex with people she meets and then the excitement wears off and she stops being interested in them and moves on. Broken hearts aplenty behind her.

Thanks. Yes, there are things she is trying to do when she can. Its tricky for me, my main feeling is not feeling free in how I want to behave, holding back with affection and asking to spend time. So, what I need from her is something that she can only give in small amounts, and that’s ok -...

Hey... you’re not alone in these feelings. It’s good that you made the decision to post here rather than writing g a long msg to him that might go unanswered or be met with a negative response. Best thing you can do. Are you also focusing on doing good things for you? Like yoga or coffee with...

Hi Everyone, My on/off girlfriend is very aware she can’t meet my needs for intimacy or spending time with me - something which I happily give space for. But it turns into essentially me waiting and trying to just be (I’m good at keeping myself busy and doing my own life). And she feels...

Hey there everyone, Situation is, my relationship recently finished with a person who experiences after effects of childhood trauma and neglect. Not in therapy. I work in this area so am more aware than some of my ex’s day to day living struggles. The biggest of these is the inability to bond...

My ?girlfriend and I... enjoyed the honeymoon phase. And then she switched off (physically and emotionally) Thankfully I’m aware of her PTSD and able to get a handle on understanding. Through talking we have established that I am able to just wait and care, and though she doesn’t feel she...

It sounds like you have a lot of insight. It’s super hard when the person withdraws emotionally and physically. I’m also in a same sex relationship. I think you’re absolutely right to recognise that mistakes you’ve made contribute to making you an unsafe person for her. I think being safe is...