abbynormal1929
Confident
Hi Everyone,
So there's been a new factor in my marriage. I always forget where I left off last, so I apologize if I'm repeating myself. My wife now identifies as pansexual, demisexual (a varient of asexuality where the person in question can only be sexually attracted to people they feel a deep connection) and also now considers us polyamorous with a woman she's formed a connection with who lives in Australia. I'm all for learning more about one's self, and exploring new aspects of one's sexuality in general. (on a side note I now identify as gender non-binary, they/them/their pronouns and all. I'll answer to Abby or Jeff equally). My wife is now constantly on facetime with this woman, even when they're both at work, or both asleep, and can't talk, they'll have each other on mute. I talk to her here and there, and she seems nice. I've been given the ok (at least tentatively) to form relationships with other people as well. Part of me feels like I should be jealous, or have more pause about this, but the truth is I'm just relieved that she seems to be happier, and is being a lot less harsh/emotionally abusive toward me since this woman came into her life. She's coming to visit in January for a couple weeks. Aside from the relief I really don't know how to feel about this. Part of me is worried that she is getting fixated on this woman the way she got fixated on me when we were first dating, and that things are going to go south somehow. At the same time, she's finally in individual therapy, and has been going for a number of weeks, and says she likes her therapist, and it's helpful.
This is what's going on. I really don't know what else to say about it at the moment, or the extent of how I really feel about it. I could just say I'm not ok with this, and I'd have a socially acceptable "out" of the relationship, but that wouldn't be the truth.
Anybody feel free to weigh in on this, or not. I'd love to hear peoples thoughts though.
Jeff/Abby
So there's been a new factor in my marriage. I always forget where I left off last, so I apologize if I'm repeating myself. My wife now identifies as pansexual, demisexual (a varient of asexuality where the person in question can only be sexually attracted to people they feel a deep connection) and also now considers us polyamorous with a woman she's formed a connection with who lives in Australia. I'm all for learning more about one's self, and exploring new aspects of one's sexuality in general. (on a side note I now identify as gender non-binary, they/them/their pronouns and all. I'll answer to Abby or Jeff equally). My wife is now constantly on facetime with this woman, even when they're both at work, or both asleep, and can't talk, they'll have each other on mute. I talk to her here and there, and she seems nice. I've been given the ok (at least tentatively) to form relationships with other people as well. Part of me feels like I should be jealous, or have more pause about this, but the truth is I'm just relieved that she seems to be happier, and is being a lot less harsh/emotionally abusive toward me since this woman came into her life. She's coming to visit in January for a couple weeks. Aside from the relief I really don't know how to feel about this. Part of me is worried that she is getting fixated on this woman the way she got fixated on me when we were first dating, and that things are going to go south somehow. At the same time, she's finally in individual therapy, and has been going for a number of weeks, and says she likes her therapist, and it's helpful.
This is what's going on. I really don't know what else to say about it at the moment, or the extent of how I really feel about it. I could just say I'm not ok with this, and I'd have a socially acceptable "out" of the relationship, but that wouldn't be the truth.
Anybody feel free to weigh in on this, or not. I'd love to hear peoples thoughts though.
Jeff/Abby