Recent content by Realsick

Hi Susan. I apologize it took me a while to see this. My shrink added abilify and klonopin. Before that I had uncontrollable panic attacks. Now I can focus on recovery.

Why is it so hard to accept what happened to us?

May whatever good is in the universe find you my friend 💕

Sometimes I WANTED the pain. I leaned into the way he hurt me. I reveled in it because I am sick and bad and all the other things my inner talker says. I instigated him after years of him being the ringleader. He began teaching me about sadistic sex at the age of five. At 13, I turned it around...

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I WAS stoic about what happened to me and pretended I was fine. Nobody willingly stepped up to say “let me help you.” My refusal to seek help ended with a nearly successful suicide attempt. I’m now actively receiving help and am adamant about self care...

Sometimes if you serve those less fortunate your life takes on meaning. Try volunteering at a children’s hospital ward. It helps me when I get out of myself. I’ve felt what you’re feeling and it’s the only thing that makes me feel worthwhile

Thanks SO much for your explanation. I already feel less alone

Seems like hospitalization might be the safest thing for you. Do you experience mania?

Since beginning emdr in trauma therapy I’ve slept a lot. I mean a LOT. The treatment has been helpful in some ways and confusing in others. For example, I’m not as barraged by intrusive thoughts as much. But I’m also crying and anxious and, as I said, sleeping a lot. Is this typical?

I think I’ve just surrendered to the pain and it’s actually a relief. I can’t do anything. I tried calling a psych hospital but was on perpetual hold 😂. Feel catatonia coming on. Going to find what drugs I can and go dark. Maybe I’ll emerge feeling better.

I’m with you. I wonder sometimes what the point is. Why not let go?

I can barely survive one session. After going over sexual trauma I can’t breathe for days. I’m doubled over in physical pain. I want to cancel this shit. I can’t do it. But I have no choice