Recent content by Starfire

  1. Starfire

    Childhood navigating not knowing if i am traumatized but having Symptoms that scare me

    Respect your feelings. It would be nice to say x happened therefore y resulted and here's how to fix it. I wanted the last one so badly. Worked for it for years. Then appeared a (trauma) therapist who didn't seem to care much about the past. He said let's focus on making your life now better and...
  2. Starfire

    Thinking you could have saved yourself from csa

    I use to think the same thing. If only I were smarter, if only I had told someone other than the one I did, called the police, fought them off, knew to scream even tho they threatened me, could have figured out this is not normal.............. But I wasn't. My fault Then my T told me to...
  3. Starfire


    Up North too
  4. Starfire

    How do i help myself???

    Think the best advice I was given was Do what's in front of you. Time for breakfast fix a healthy one. No clean clothes concentrate on the laundry. Exercise time, establish a routine. Feeling overwhelmed, slow down, concentrate on what calms you. Writing here, talk to supporters, play with your...
  5. Starfire

    I’m So Angry

    Great to hear! Righteous anger!!
  6. Starfire

    Talking about suicidal thoughts/suicidal ideation

    I've found that talking about this with anyone but a trained person/therapist only makes me feel worse. People who have never felt this way, can't understand. So then I would feel guilty and worried about them. My T agreed to schedule extra sessions and having someone, my T, willing to talk...
  7. Starfire

    I’m So Angry

    Sounds to me that it is an excuse he gives his family to say it's not my fault, it's hers. Also sounds like he is looking for a good time, not a real relationship. Nothing wrong with that as long as both people are on the same page. I have a couple friends that I can call to party with but...
  8. Starfire

    Had flashback in public

    Unfortunately those darn episodes happen. I've made up cards based on what the UK has. It says I have PTSD then Do'S and Don'ts. Originally developed to give to a first responder. But discovered it worked for me if I just list things that work for me. I can read grounding: stomp feet...
  9. Starfire

    Does anybody want to join in being a routine buddy (“accountability” partner)?

    This may be a technicality... But I belonged briefly to a group that, in my opinion, degenerated into this. A competition. *I did 6 things you only did 4. I win*. I would love seeing what others are doing and usurping their great ideas. Want help to just keeping before me what I need to do. Too...
  10. Starfire

    Labels and struggling with people knowing

    Know I'm probably in the minority but I go on a need to know prerequisite. Perhaps cuz I have seen it used against people. For me it has nothing to do with shame. It's my private business. The world does not need to know. Unless it affects my job, neither does my boss. Same with acquaintances...
  11. Starfire

    Childhood Dealing with a plethora of triggers, often unknown

    Yes. I hated doing this but it did help. Keep a record for a period of time. Was having a hard time didn't know why. Wrote everything down for at least a week. As I said I hated it but it did show me some patterns when I looked back. Helped me anticipate the feelings following trigger. Who would...
  12. Starfire

    Childhood How do you deal with trauma like CSA that you aren't sure even happened?

    Was once I once heard it said that people don't make this stuff up and they don't suffer from the symptoms if nothing happened. The details may not ever be known. Exactly what cousin did exactly what, may not be relevant. May just be retraumatizing.
  13. Starfire

    Advice on telling my therapist about self-harm

    You could write it down in letter or email form. Sometimes, at least the first time, it's easier than speaking. You get to choose the words and how much or little you disclose. And for me, stay on point. Not chicken out! I've discovered there is hardly anything I can possibly tell my T that he...
  14. Starfire

    Relax and do nothing....or get up and do more?

    I make a list of things that absolutely have to be done every day. It also depends if more anxiety or depression. For me if it's anxiety, I can't sit still. I try not to interact with people but be busy. If it's depression, I rest more. I need to be cautious that I don't ruminate on something...
  15. Starfire

    I don't know how to deal with my depression

    Understand. Sitting here trying to think of a good excuse to cancel therapy today. It's raining. It's windy. Can't decide what to wear. Just not up to it. Can't lie to therapist so car trouble is out. Just last week things were great. Pig Pen's cloud over my head.