Sufferer Full time father of 2, recovering from traumatic experience

Hi, just introducing myself, full time father of two, Fled DV situation with cluster B ex, Too much drama to explain and way to horrific, diagnosed with C-PTSD. Looking to connect with people of similar circumstances. Full time single parent is challenging! Not sure if anyone on here is relatable, that's ok, just wanted to reach out.

Hi @thendo86 welcome to the site . I have a history of complex trauma, depression and anxiety.

Survivor3 said:

Hi @thendo86 welcome to the site . I have a history of complex trauma, depression and anxiety.

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Thank you for warm welcome. Has been hard as a male in DV environment, even prioritizing children well being.

thendo86 said:

Thank you for warm welcome. Has been hard as a male in DV environment, even prioritizing children well being.

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Yes I can imagine that must be very hard. I don't have children but people in my family have children and have experienced something similar. Do you have custody of the children now?

Survivor3 said:

Yes I can imagine that must be very hard. I don't have children but people in my family have children and have experienced something similar. Do you have custody of the children now?

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Not formal custody, only by protection order. I have trials in April against Australian Police which is detrimental to the family court order.

thendo86 said:

Not formal custody, only by protection order. I have trials in April against Australian Police which is detrimental to the family court order.

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I have to fight this battle first and then head to family court.

thendo86 said:

I have to fight this battle first and then head to family court.

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Not just my struggle, I have provided children with support from incidents they have witnessed which no child ever should. Create safe home focus on being both parents in nature. Comforting and supportive. while they are dealing with trauma too.

Survivor3 said:

Hi @thendo86 welcome to the site . I have a history of complex trauma, depression and anxiety.

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With the trauma and anxiety, how do you manage the hypervigilance? My psych is great but I have refused medication.

thendo86 said:

With the trauma and anxiety, how do you manage the hypervigilance? My psych is great but I have refused medication.

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That's a great question, one that involves a detailed answer. First off, I take medication, it took 15 years of fighting with the system to eventually get on meds that work. I now take mirtazapine 30mg at night and olanzapine 20mg at night. Escitalopram 20mg in the morning. The latter was a life saver as an antidepressant. It pretty much cured my depression and anxiety. Now I just have occasional anxiety attacks for which I take promethazine hydrochloride for. It's a antihistamine that makes you drowsy so helps alot. Takes about 2 hours to work.

I used to get terrible paranoia/hyper vigilance. But it's a lot less now. I keep busy. If your busy then your focused and not ruminating or worrying about shit. I have 2 music lessons a week, practice and compose, play with friends, Buddhism, work at samaritans and domestic/social life. That's how i keep busy. Like I say the busier you are the better.

Survivor3 said:

That's a great question, one that involves a detailed answer. First off, I take medication, it took 15 years of fighting with the system to eventually get on meds that work. I now take mirtazapine 30mg at night and olanzapine 20mg at night. Escitalopram 20mg in the morning. The latter was a life saver as an antidepressant. It pretty much cured my depression and anxiety. Now I just have occasional anxiety attacks for which I take promethazine hydrochloride for. It's a antihistamine that makes you drowsy so helps alot. Takes about 2 hours to work.

I used to get terrible paranoia/hyper vigilance. But it's a lot less now. I keep busy. If your busy then your focused and not ruminating or worrying about shit. I have 2 music lessons a week, practice and compose, play with friends, Buddhism, work at samaritans and domestic/social life. That's how i keep busy. Like I say the busier you are the better.

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Thanks for replying and I agree with keeping busy, focusing on other things. I guess my issue is I still have the wolf at my door as psych put it. Our justice system is Fu#cked and until we do get justice we are vulnerable to ongoing harassment. Hopefully April we can move on.

thendo86 said:

Thanks for replying and I agree with keeping busy, focusing on other things. I guess my issue is I still have the wolf at my door as psych put it. Our justice system is Fu#cked and until we do get justice we are vulnerable to ongoing harassment. Hopefully April we can move on.

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Yes. It sounds like you've been through alot and your mind is still traumatised, really try to be kind to yourself when you can. Meditation can be very beneficial.

thendo86 said:

With the trauma and anxiety, how do you manage the hypervigilance? My psych is great but I have refused medication.

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I use 2mg risperidone at night. Tried an additional 2mg in the morning but that zombifies me all day. Also 150mg Wellbutrin in the morning to counteract the R's fatigue effects and get an antidepressant in there at the same time.

The 2mg takes me from "there are presently 74 people in this store; 17 of them are executing an aisle-by-aisle approach in a broad clockwise tour of the floor" and "attempting to queue and check out at stores results in panic attack" (n.b. in the before times my knowledge of anxiety was purely theoretical) down to "I am not sure I want to watch this TV series because it'll distract my attention from the entrance to the room". 4mg takes me to "huh, people" yet at the same time my brain screaming at me that I desperately need to be more hypervigilant, which is plenty unpleasant and disorienting in its own way. So 2mg is kind of a happy medium for me, with 'happy' doing a lot of work there.

I feel I've given CBT a fair shake but it does diddly-squat for me.