Insert Swearish Rant Here

Lost in the Woods said:

For me ideation has come back some in the past week. I just get tired of living. I have a firm belief that the modern world is incompatible with human nature and most people don’t realize it. They just live their lives of drudgery without ever really questioning it. Me, I always feel like an alien, an outsider, thus I go through periods where I ask myself if it is really worth continuing to exist. I have my doubts but I am too chicken shit to do anything about it. So I go on wondering if there is any point to any of it. I think this is something people with trauma history do now and then.

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I feel this way a lot of the time. Like an alien who doesn’t fit in with things. I can’t stand small talk and real conversations make me nervous when I am in a bad patch. I see and listen to people moan about everything or have conversations about banal shit like reality TV and I feel like screaming. I have trouble getting out among people and long for connection, maybe without even speaking just being in the same place feeling safe. It’s a vicious circle and sometimes I am not sure how much more I can take. Nevertheless I got up today, ironed a shirt, went to physiotherapy and cooked something to eat. Feeling rather proud yet tearfully alone, seeing as I don’t really fit in this world

Susan Jane said:

I feel this way a lot of the time. Like an alien who doesn’t fit in with things. I can’t stand small talk and real conversations make me nervous when I am in a bad patch. I see and listen to people moan about everything or have conversations about banal shit like reality TV and I feel like screaming. I have trouble getting out among people and long for connection, maybe without even speaking just being in the same place feeling safe. It’s a vicious circle and sometimes I am not sure how much more I can take. Nevertheless I got up today, ironed a shirt, went to physiotherapy and cooked something to eat. Feeling rather proud yet tearfully alone, seeing as I don’t really fit in this world

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You hit it perfectly. All I want is a quiet simple life. Instead I have to deal with constant BS. Just when I make some progress something erupts and sets me backwards. I don’t want to keep up with the Kardasians. I really don’t want any part of this shut up and buy world. The assertion of arbitrary authority by mindless so called leaders or public “servants” drives me crazy. Those clowns don’t even know they are living in an illusion. Thus I wonder if it is worth continuing.

Lost in the Woods said:

You hit it perfectly. All I want is a quiet simple life. Instead I have to deal with constant BS. Just when I make some progress something erupts and sets me backwards. I don’t want to keep up with the Kardasians. I really don’t want any part of this shut up and buy world. The assertion of arbitrary authority by mindless so called leaders or public “servants” drives me crazy. Those clowns don’t even know they are living in an illusion. Thus I wonder if it is worth continuing.

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I understand, the BS gets really loud and it’s really hard to cope. I have tuned out of listening to arbitrary leaders. You are correct, they live in an illusion, with absolutely no idea what is really going on or the skills to handle it. Let’s hope we are both able to achieve a quiet simple life! I like the thought of that. It’s a place of warmth and comfort.

Susan Jane said:

I feel this way a lot of the time. Like an alien who doesn’t fit in with things.

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I do relate. I was a weird little kid who didn't fit in.

I still don't fit in. But that is good because fitting in my family is to be be abusive.

Now I am a bit more connected to myself and not as fragmented I can manage a little bit better. But my social battery is very low. Once it runs out I have to recharge and that takes time.

Lost in the Woods said:

You hit it perfectly. All I want is a quiet simple life. Instead I have to deal with constant BS. I really don’t want any part of this shut up and buy world. Those clowns don’t even know they are living in an illusion. Thus I wonder if it is worth continuing.

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I keep away from folks mostly. I do what I can to help, in small ways, to help ecosystems repair and I do small, homemade, humble, handmade contributions. It is an illusion buying all that stuff etc so I try to keep out of it. Boycotting when I can.

Susan Jane said:

I understand, the BS gets really loud and it’s really hard to cope. Let’s hope we are both able to achieve a quiet simple life! I like the thought of that. It’s a place of warmth and comfort.

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I am going for a quiet, simple life. The best I can.

I got a bit derailed with the cyclone hitting & that crazy mould damage and the house next door burnt down and the resultant smoke damage inside my house. The Insurance Company has been very poor in-service delivery, site management and actual repairs.

It will be good to get back to a quiet life.

Intergenerational change takes a lot of work. I like to think, those of us, on the cutting edge, are creating pathways for those that follow us. Small, handmade contributions but contributions nonetheless.

Have I mentioned how utterly %$&%% full of deep fried badger bullocks this year is?

I am so bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep angry at this !!#$#&% crap that calls itself reality...
I am going to go stick my head in the sand now and pretend I'm an ostrich.