Death Trigger

Husband brought up again- about the 3rd or 4th time in last 3 dsys- he wants to buy freeze dried food. He bought some Saturday. OK. It is food. But it brings out in me hopelessness fear no agency. He is a veteran. So. I told him to stop bringing this up to me and purchase more when he gets paid. As bad as things are who lives well if doomsday is always around the corner? May 2014 - 30 days hospitalized. Cardiopulmonary arrest. Code blue

Et in Arcadia ego.

Death is just part of life. In the West we have sanitized Death and don’t speak of it as if that will jinx us. We fear it. It is the ultimate other and thus it must be feared. In many developing countries death is accepted as part of life, it happens, with frequency. Infant mortality is high. During ketamine therapy I have had death come up several times. I just approach it with acceptance and I don’t fight the thoughts or emotions. I think this is where the fatalistic view in the third world comes from. When death comes to me I hope I am awake as you only do it once and I would hate to miss it.

In regards to prepping there is nothing wrong with that but at most it might buy a little time when the collapse happens. In off road long distance bicycling there is a saying, “you pack your fears”. There is nothing wrong with that but it is worth acknowledging. One thing about prepping that I find fascinating is the obsession with firearms. I don’t have anything against guns but it makes me wonder if there isn’t a Red Dawn fantasy at work. Anyway, death doesn’t have to be something we fear. In regards to prepping there is nothing wrong with that but discussing fears might shine some light on the situation and may ease your burden. All of us here have a lot on our plate and if some honest discussion might help it is worthwhile even if you are the only one that benefits.

My fear lies with loss of agency. Black and white thinking. Doomsday thinking. Death is a part of life. I have had people in my life who were certain their beliefs were correct. No other option..
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Lost in the Woods said:

e as you only do it once and I would hate to miss it.

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This ^^ (beautiful way of looking at death)....

KA60 said:

My fear lies with loss of agency

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...could help with this fear ^^



What can you do differently to help reduce your fears?

I have been working on it. Some of my issues are tied to the trauma I am feeling from the state of the US. Collective trauma. Hard boundaries with people. Dealing with the cognitive dissonance and loss of shared reality..Dealing with trauma usually involves confronting how you got there and creating a path forward to a new future. I had to do this for myself. Deep breathing. Enjoying my life. Letting go of what I don't control. I lived in fear of a second civil war societal collapse due to my husbands beliefs I have just recently pulled myself out of. But. Part of my healing now involves dealing with polticsl trauma in the US. My father and mother voted for trump. My mother died in 2021. Somehow I must keep living to forgive yet know these people and their beliefs are tied to my own family's transgenerational trauma and that of the US. There is complicity. I must hold myself accountable by setting firm limits. Who is allowed to be around me. What I am and am not willing to discuss.