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I can't speak for the OP, but I certainly didn't mean for you to feel guilty. I don't think you need to. Times were different when my mom smoked. I don't resent her for smoking so much as she didn't acknowledge my issues or if she did, it came with a guilt trip. When I was old enough to tell her...

Yes, this I relate to very much. It's been years since I started therapy. Hard to imagine, now, that I found so many awful things normal. It's sad. That twisted perception is one of the most damaging things

I wouldn't say I hate my mother, but there was a lot of issues and complicated feelings. Her smoking was one of the conflicts. I too had asthma (mine is mild) and struggled and she never stopped and turned it into a personal attack against her, if I complained.

Is it possible for you to seek a different doctor or find a therapist who has experience in trauma?

I miss the pacific northwest so much. I miss summers there. I miss the mountains and waterfalls and the ocean and rain and cool and mist that cleans to the trees and rivers that are crystal clear.

I agree that sometimes soothing and calming is the right way to go. Sometimes though for me, I reached a point of dissociation where it wasn't good. When that first happened I'd end up self-harming. Eventually I developed a whole list of things that would help cope. Things like exercise, music...

I also used all of them. I wasn't good at talking so I definitely did a lot of journaling and emailing.

Sideways said better what I wanted to say. I will tell you, from my experience, confrontation did no good with my mother. It just left me in emotional tangles. I really don't think she had the capacity to respond in ways I would have found healing. Hmm... what do you mean by process your...

I've been in situations like yours. One of the things I learned, as I healed was to be more clear about my boundaries. I would think I was being nice and finding a compromise (we can give cuddles, but not sex) set myself up to have my boundaries over powered time and again with people who push...

I think part of the acceptance for me, is understanding there will be times when I feel that longing. When I wish I'd gotten more from my family. I've detached the judgement of those feelings though. I am not wrong or weak for feeling that. So, the feelings happen and I focus on how I can meet...

Hi and welcome to the forums. This is a good place. Especially if you read and post, so you get feedback. Some of the input people has is honest and not meant to give sympathy but to challenge you to healing. Take what helps and leave the rest.

Can you say more about what is leaving you feeling like you can't get over it? I am sorry you are in such a bad place

For being tired. I am allowed to be human

It sounds like you have some good thoughts around this. Family can definitely be a struggle. If you need to, you can print out what you said so you have it as a reminder.

Oof, that's a hard one. Especially when we aren't conscious we are doing it. I think learning that we can deal with disappoint, is an important skill. And when my therapist talked to me about that I was resistant and somewhat insulted. I felt like I dealt with disappointment well. What I didn't...

Agree with what everyone else is saying, especially @Friday. Also, I've been in similar situations. It's hard and I am sorry you are dealing with that. Hopefully this struggle is temporary. as your sister settles into her new life and you settle into your healing you'll be able to find a more...

I forgive myself for making a mistake at work. I'm allowed to make mistakes. It doesn't mean I have failed or that everyone will think badly of me.

It sounds like you are working on grounding yourself which can be important This is something I would definitely try to work on. I know it's really hard and it's something I've struggled with. If you change your actions, by being able to say things in the moment, it can help you separate now...

This is a wonderful idea. Ok... I forgive myself for having limitations.

I am so sorry you are feeling that way. It's very painful. I wish I could sit with you and hold your hand (if wanted) while you screamed or cried or whatever you needed to do. The feelings are real. The reality is right now you don't have anyone in your life. The truth for your future is yet to...

Just adding to all the voices saying don't go back. That would have triggered me terribly. I am sorry you went through that with this therapist.

I tend to jump to grooming because of my own past experiences, but that doesn't mean much. Yes, there are a lot of hallmarks of grooming but it could also be a teacher who was young and didn't have the best boundaries and was trying to help you. The reality is you are never going to know. If...

Thinking about you and sitting with you

If it helps any, I would be hurt too. Feelings happen. They don't have to be right or wrong. You are navigating a lot of really hard things right now so it makes sense what happened with your T stirred up a response. That seems to be part of your relationship. That she is a safe person to have...

My partner and I have talked a lot about my troubles saying "no" when not having sex. And that has helped me be able to say it in the moment. I think creating dialogue in a different context makes it easier for it to carry over. Also, because he knows my issues, if I don't answer or give a vague...