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  1. parrotthepolly

    I notice - I cry a few times a day when I feel something

    Sounds like it's the emotions triggering the crying spells. Happiness can also be overwhelming or a sudden change when you've been depressed for too long and you just wanna calm down and let it out somehow. For me I've been feeling extremely angry and irritable with most of my response to bad...
  2. parrotthepolly

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    95g smoke flavoured tuna - 104 cals 85g mussels in oil - 132 cals
  3. parrotthepolly

    What did you clean last?

    My arm.
  4. parrotthepolly

    How do you let people get to know you

    I don't believe there is much of me since I don't enjoy most things in life due to being in survival mode for a few decades with dissociation. Hate being asked to "tell me about yourself", like at least ask me something! It's like I'm existing to avoid existing at this point. I don't give a...
  5. parrotthepolly

    What do you do when you only feel good cutting or hurting yourself?

    I continue hurting myself of course! But honestly it doesn't always "hurt" but it's still miserable
  6. parrotthepolly

    Deep core beliefs

    If it helps, I definitely think you're worthy of getting because you're trying! I would never wanna be near a therapist myself but it's great it works for some. I think the majority of people matter and deserve a better life. If anyone is actually broken it's me since I don't really "take care"...
  7. parrotthepolly

    How are you doing?

    Absolute crap. Never been worse but I can see it get MUCH worse than this.
  8. parrotthepolly

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    2 white bread rolls (bigger than dinner rolls) with bacon cubes, a bit of cheese and herbs, from Baker's Delight Didn't realise it was like 700 calories but I was so hungry I didn't care, it already tastes delicious and when I'm starving it's just amazing!
  9. parrotthepolly

    Undiagnosed Feeling damned to a life of trauma, anger and misery.

    Welcome! I can relate to a lot of what you wrote, almost everything, especially with having a "mother" who never felt motherly, I've recently learnt to accept that they aren't required to love their kids or even like them I guess, just to provide for them until they turn 18. A mother is simply...
  10. parrotthepolly

    Good smells

    Oatmeal mixed with full cream cow's milk or even water. I swear it has a smell even just cooked with water and nothing else.
  11. parrotthepolly

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Monster Ultra Fiesta Mango flavoured - 14 cals which an acquaintance brought for me
  12. parrotthepolly

    Sufferer I'm new.... just wanted to introduce myself & connect

    Welcome! Unfortunately it's very normal for people who haven't been through trauma to not understand why it leaves someone ... different? like they're not themselves anymore.
  13. parrotthepolly

    Wishes

    I wish he haven't died yet.
  14. parrotthepolly

    What Are You Grateful For Today?

    The promise of my death. Grateful it will end one day and I don't have to make an effort just yet.
  15. parrotthepolly

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    10 + 1 tiny plum ~ 315 1 avocado ~ 322 Total ~ 637 cals Fibre ~ 22g 10 calories less and same fibre as yesterday... Didn't plan to eat the avocado but it's about to go bad.
  16. parrotthepolly

    What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

    Being alive has been a truly ugly experience and there's barely anything to be grateful for.
  17. parrotthepolly

    Military Care Package

    Why haven't you asked him cause the way I see it, if it's someone you're willing to send something to, there must have already been information on what is expected. Personally I can't stand the element of surprise but it must be different with people you can trust to not make you uncomfortable.
  18. parrotthepolly

    I miss…

    Having someone or even something to wake up for.
  19. parrotthepolly

    Ladies and gentlemen: Self care and kisses

    I'm waiting for my favourite sugarfree energy drink to be half price, it was at 40% a while back and apparently that wasn't good enough... I do have some still in stock tho. It's great I have a backpack that fits 4 cartons of 4x 500mL cans so 8 litres at once. In the meantime I'll have...
  20. parrotthepolly

    Ladies and gentlemen: Self care and kisses

    I didn't eat any refined sugar and carbs (besides fruit cause the fibre helps) cause they're my worst enemy lol. Coincidentally had 647 calories the day before, 637 yesterday and 22g fibre both days! 🤯 Hoping to keep it under 500 cals today, even better if under 350 since I'm not dead yet.
  21. parrotthepolly

    Pinball bouncing blindly through a maze

    I get moments like this too and it's so draining... Usually I know it won't be so bad in the moment I could have been completely insistent and delusional on matters that make zero sense...
  22. parrotthepolly

    Avoiding therapy because I feel 'succesful'

    I guess not many people think this but I don't believe attending therapy will leave a dent in your overall success because it's like when you're sick, you go to the doctors and get treated and a medical certificate? ~ It's clear we don't function to the best of our abilities when we're...
  23. parrotthepolly

    Sufferer Father's Hatred

    I can feel this.
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