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We care @LuckiLee … hope you’re on the mend soon. I bet Sighs is out there, enjoying her peace, living her best life, and being treated the way she is supposed to be. ❤️

Hello @OceanEyes. I moved your post over to Treatment & Therapy so you would get the best engagement and advice.

f*ck him in the ear… I may be talking about yours, but I may very well be talking about mine. Maybe both.

He isn’t automatically absolved of treating people poorly because he has PTSD. He can still be a D-bag with PTSD. Don’t let him get away with anything you wouldn’t tolerate in others.

If he was a lousy boyfriend that is his fault, not yours. We don’t always get closure from exes. Sometimes you have to close that up yourself. If he treated you poorly… which is what he did if he ghosted you instead of communicating like an adult in a committed relationship… then he was not...

One bit of advice is to stop taking lashing out personally. Easier said than done, eh? It’s a reaction to stress, and you just happen to be the safest target. Don’t engage. Don’t defend yourself, fight back or get loud. It’s like pouring gasoline on a fire. Instead, set a boundary. “I will...

You are overthinking it all. You slapped him. If he had slapped you would you be OK with it? He’s allowed to have some doubts about the relationship after being slapped in the face.

Honestly, don’t indulge in the spiral. If she’s gonna spiral, she’s gonna spiral. It doesn’t mean you have to get sucked under. It is not your job to regulate her emotions or reactions. Also, it is perfectly normal to be hurt when somebody is lashing out. It doesn’t make you unsafe or toxic or...

It sounds like he’s just symptomatic and you’ve probably never experienced it at this level of intimacy before. It’s always a shock the first time. People think they know what PTSD looks like, but it’s not what you’d think. He had a med change, broke up with a long term partner, and moved...

Let me ask you this @LittlestBird … what are the benefits of all this for you? Is his mental health worth more than yours? Because it sounds like this is not good for *you* even a least little bit. Being a martyr isn’t romantic, and it isn’t good for either of you.

Remember what birthdays, holidays and vacations were like “before”? Le sigh

A lot of times when a supporter is trying to help or fix it is really more about trying to comfort ourselves. *We* need the contact, *they* need the space.

If she is not responding to messages that’s a pretty big indicator she does not want to speak to you you. If she isn’t speaking to you I would stop messaging her all together. Even if she was, sending her PTSD resources is probably a bad idea. Never mind making her feel broken… it would...

This is called projection. Instead of taking responsibility for her stress response she is making it your problem instead. Were you forceful? Inappropriate? Threatening? If not, you were just sharing your feelings. That is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. It’s not f*cked up just because she...

First of all you need to stop making yourself responsible for her mental health. You are not. Second, you didn’t trigger her. She was triggered. You did a totally normal and acceptable thing. Third you cannot stop “accidentally hurting” her. She has PTSD, and she’s going to be set off...

If she reacts to stressors by being horrible to you, then yes. Bad behaviors. The stress is the symptom, she makes the choice in how she reacts to the stress.

We don’t always get closure. Sometimes we just have to make peace with ourselves. Why did she lash out, threaten, and make false accusations about you? Because she is not the right person for you. You KNOW she is not good for you. You can’t change her with love. That shit is for fairy tales.

Unless you know her specific triggers and are purposely exposing her to them you are not triggering her. She is being triggered. It’s happening in her head. Also there is a vast difference between an actual trigger and a stressor...

It’s her. She’s not possessed by a devil. This is her, reacting to PTSD symptoms. Feeling like she’s “somebody else” or “a captive of PTSD” is a huuuge supporter trap. She is an adult. She is ultimately responsible for her behaviors and how she treats people.

Because she is being an asshole? That’s always a possibility. Not everything is PTSD, some of it is just plain old personality traits.

You are not toxic just because she says you are. Don’t get sucked into her bullshit. Projection is a thing.

Methinks they need to blow it out their ass sideways and at high velocity.

Welp, that sounds familiar. I love getting my own feelings mansplained to me.

Not everything has to be PTSD. You’re a forgiving, empathetic, easy target. She could just be being a self centered ass taking advantage of that to get her way.

Empathy is one thing… allowing her to destroy your life with criminal charges over some nonsense is something else. She is not stable, and she has no empathy for you. Untreated PTSD is horrendous. Being a martyr to her mental illness is not romantic, it’s codependent.