Relationship Supporting EX after breakup

[Soulpdx]

4 weeks ago I was broken up with by ex who's feeling numb and falling out of love. She told me that she doesn't feel worthy and that I'm too good for her and the general responses that are common in disassociate situations. I haven't been blocked but I've been ghosted and have no responses to my messages. I think it's the fear of conflict that she's afraid will come out. Unfortunately for me I haven't the best at just keeping my mouth shut and giving her space. I have my own anxieties that came into play that I'm not working on.

My question is... I want to share some CPTSD resources with her that I have found that I think would help her feel connected to other peoples and help her in feeling that her struggles are not hers alone. Can I share these resources in a way that doesn't push her away or make her feel like she's broken and I'm just trying to fix her. I really do want to support her and I know that she wants to feel better and work on herself. Any advice would be appriciated.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I've been ghosted and have no responses to my messages.

Unfortunately for me I haven't the best at just keeping my mouth shut and giving her space.

If she is not responding to messages that’s a pretty big indicator she does not want to speak to you you.

Can I share these resources in a way that doesn't push her away or make her feel like she's broken and I'm just trying to fix her.

If she isn’t speaking to you I would stop messaging her all together. Even if she was, sending her PTSD resources is probably a bad idea. Never mind making her feel broken… it would basically invalidate her feelings by presenting them all as a side effect of her PTSD.

You cannot know what she is thinking it feeling, or whether or not this is a PTSD issue. All you can do is respect boundaries.

 

[Soulpdx]

If she is not responding to messages that’s a pretty big indicator she does not want to speak to you you.



If she isn’t speaking to you I would stop messaging her all together. Even if she was, sending her PTSD resources is probably a bad idea. Never mind making her feel broken… it would basically invalidate her feelings by presenting them all as a side effect of her PTSD.

You cannot know what she is thinking it feeling, or whether or not this is a PTSD issue. All you can do is respect boundaries.

That is so true. I mean I only have my own opinion to go off of. Thank you for the correction and support! I'm trying to work on my empathy. IT's been a struggle for me. But you're right. That would be invalidating. Which I don't want to be. I know from our past that she does struggle with PTSD issues. And I guess this is more of my issue of wanting to help or "fix" things. I really need to let her do her own thing and trust in her process. Again thank you for the support.

 

[Sweetpea76]

A lot of times when a supporter is trying to help or fix it is really more about trying to comfort ourselves. *We* need the contact, *they* need the space.