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I am happy to hear that your friend got a job and moved out, and you got some relief from living with such a difficult and painful situation every time you were at home. And I am happy to hear that he feels more able to communicate with you now (and communicate more honestly). From what you have...

I'm not surprised it's feeling sad. And it sounds very difficult that it feels triggering for you every time you're in your own home. And yes, it's hard to know what feels good for them and what isn't when they aren't communicating. You can always make an educated guess and remind yourself that...

Nairobi, I love that you shared this: "I will tell you one thing that my friend told me, one day that he was able to speak a little: I care about you, please tell me things that I can do to make you happy (like cooking for me, go to the supermarket) but please don't ask me to speak with you...

Is he open to going to therapy? What kinds of supports do you have for yourself? I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with my situation this evening. I can't go totally no contact like this anymore. It is destroying me. I'd like to talk with him about us both getting help. But, of course, that...

That sounds very difficult, Nairobi. It's also encouraging to hear that there have been some positive changes over the last 9 months. Is he completely not talking to you all the time?

I'm doing okay. My boyfriend is still out of contact, but I have been using some skills to deal with it. It may not seem like it, but my amount of being triggered and "freaking out" is a lot less this time, overall. We had spoken about the holidays before they arrived, so my expectations of him...

I like that you were able to come up with a compromise solution to do something together in a way meets your needs a little and also isn't totally overwhelming for your friend. That sounds difficult.

Thank you, I find that what you have shared makes it easier to depersonalize what is happening this time around.

I really would like to get to a place with my partner like the agreement you have with your partner. I want to give him space, but we don't have any rules about and it's too painful for me. It always makes me think "this is the end" or "he doesn't care about me or he would care about how much...

Just know that, even though getting through the pain of someone you love leaving you suddenly hurts like hell, it's truly not about you. And speaking up about aspects of the relationship is both healthy and an act of courage. It's when we find ourselves walking on eggshells and not bringing...

Yeah, I feel you. It's hard when they can't seem to show up the way that we need. The thing that helps me the most is doing nice things for myself at home. Tonight I'm listening to Jazz Night in America: Christmas edition. And I caught up a little with a friend and with my sister. And my sister...

Just wanted to share (my partner has cPTSD and hasn't received adequate support for it yet). My partner, or maybe I should now call him my friend, or perhaps he isn't anything anymore, I seem to be the only one participating right now. Anyway, my partner has been super overworked at his job the...

I don't know. What he and I really need is a therapist who knows about cPTSD and attachment issues. All the reading and stuff I've been doing doesn't seem to be helping, because I also need help for myself. Just feeling sad. I don't want to hope for anything in the relationship because I don't...

It's a by-the-book Dismissive Avoidant pattern, unfortunately. I was watching some content by Dr. Sarah Henley, and everything I have observed in the relationship was described *exactly* by her. I like the two-week guideline. I've asked for what I need and expressed my feelings. I can give it...

Hi, I'm posting here because I've reached the end of my rope. My partner/friend of 5 years and 9 months has not spoken to me in the last 1 month and 6 days, though I have asked him directly to please call me or at least tell me when he will be able to talk to me again. And I have used our...

Yes, that's still a work in progress! It's easy to not remember that it's a symptom sometimes.

If you have recently been on the receiving end of a loved one's PTSD-related outburst because their stress cup had no more room in it, please know that your feelings are real and valid and are probably a normal reaction to what happened. Here is something I told myself today, after a long-needed...

If your partner is willing, maybe you two can discuss things while things are going well - like planning ahead for an emergency. You could even consider saying, "It's alright to say 'I'm feeling [insert emotion here] because [trigger, interpretation, etc.]' but I am not okay with [whatever feels...

Sometimes, setting a boundary for yourself can be protective, such as "I am going to wait x amount of time before I try reaching out again." During longer periods of unresponsiveness, I've even done things like, I will not contact more than x times in one day when there is no response. It helps...

A lot of what you describe sounds very familiar to me. It can be particularly difficult emotionally to not know what the relationship "is" anymore. I've been attending Codependents Anonymous for the past 3 months, and that has been a pretty good support group and has offered some extra skills...

Thank you for your insights, Tinyflame!

Friday, thank you for that insight! I think you're right. In fact, on a few occasions I have said "if talking's too much you can just send me an emoji?" and he's actually done that on a couple of occasions. I might revisit that again. I've also heard of using a code word or phrase to signal if...

Hello, My partner of 5.5 years with PTSD / CPTSD is starting to reconnect with me after spending June working 3 jobs and just being overwhelmed with the volume of work. I agreed to not expect him to talk on the phone or meet in person during June, although that was a really difficult thing for...

My partner of 5.5 years is in an isolation period. A few times a year, these periods of withdrawal and unresponsiveness go on quite long. So far it has been 3 weeks, but we haven't seen each other in person in about 2.5-3 months. I'm trying to figure out what to do when he starts being...