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For me, my flashbacks immediately overwhelm reality. All my senses relay information from the flashback, and my surroundings are completely gone. I lose the ability to think or reason, trapped in the past and reliving it. I don't have any warnings, so there is no grounding for me. I am hoping...

I metabolize anesthesia very, very quickly. Twice I have woken up in the middle of major operations, becoming fully aware and able to feel everything, but like you, I was paralyzed and had no way to communicate. Unlike you, my awareness was noticed within about 5 minutes both times. The trauma...

I tried GABA for sleep, and found that if I took enough to actually get me to sleep, I'd wake up a couple hours later shaking, sweating and vomiting violently. Just because something is labeled "natural" does not mean that it is safer or healthier. That said, I know people who have experienced...

For me, dissociation means checking out from reality. When it happens, I lose all awareness of the outside world and very shortly thereafter I lose awareness all together. I still interact with the world around me, but once I "come back" I have NO recollection of ANYTHING that has transpired...

MP7, I'm not active duty or a veteran, so I'm not going to pretend to understand your experiences. I help train police and military for CQC/DAAT, and teach martial arts as well as a women's self defense class. I have seen PTSD in SO many people (including myself). There is something different...

I have extreme daily nausea. I take omeprazole and ranitidine, as well as Zofran. Without the Zofran I can't hold down even sips of water. My doc is pretty sure it's stress related, but I'm having an EGD next week to check for problems

My T specializes in childhood trauma, attachment, and PTSD. I feel very fortunate that he is my T. He's done So much to help me.

It took me a lot of years to be able to make more than just fleeting eye contact with my T. My emotions tell me that if I look at him and let our eyes connect, he'll see everything I'm holding inside and something horrible will happen. I know the truth is that if we make eye contact, he'll...

I take Prazosin, 15 mg. I tend to need larger doses of medications. It doesn't take away my nightmares completely, but it does make it so I have fewer and for the most part, I'm not nearly as disturbed when I wake up. I have low blood pressure without it, but being on it hasn't affected that...

I am literally surrounded by love. I have a great paternal side family, an amazing husband, some amazing friends (one of whom I met here), and a very supportive and close-knit church. It hasn't always been this way. And there was a long time when the love was there but I couldn't see it. I...

Effexor caused problems for me. I was given my first dose while inpatient. Within an hour, my anxiety started ramping up. I told the docs, and they insisted it couldn't be related to the Effexor. For the last 3 years, I've been a diligent, compliant patient and taken it every morning. And...

I think the whistle would be a bad move. He's already feeling defensive and exasperated. Adding in a whistle would just inflame those things. If someone did that to me, I'd also feel dehumanized. Whistles are used to train dogs... My husband has ADHD and sometimes he gets very loud and his...

That's pretty cool! I bought back my first car 15 years after I sold it, too. It's officially dead now, but it was super cool to get back. It was a lesson in finances for me, too. Plus my dad and I restored it together way back when. It's pretty special to me. I'm glad you got your...

I've been dissociating a lot lately. I'll "come back" and have zero recollection of what has transpired over the preceding hours. Zero. But I also can't recall day to day life after a day or so, even times I know I wasn't dissociating. When I wasn't displaying active PTSD in my early and mid...

So, I've got three meds I've been on for quite a while, that I've been really wanting to get off. My old psych doc insisted that they were necessary, and I do my best to be compliant even when I disagree. My last appointment with her was in June. I saw my new psych for the first time...

I've had 43 surgeries. They often use Versed as a pre-med, but it has zero effect on me. It doesn't calm me, doesn't ease pain, doesn't cause amnesia. The last 10 or so surgeries, I have asked them to give me oral alprazolam as that at least helps a little, and skip the modazolam all together...

I hear you, @Brunhilde - I too live in a very rural area. I drive an hour each way to see my therapist. It's got to be so difficult to be told they can't work with you if you don't trust them. It took me YEARS to develop trust with mine. For so many of us, distrust is a huge factor. It's...

@Brunhilde , do you think it's possible to find a T who will not only address this next event, but will also help you learn to manage your anger? Just a thought. I totally understand if that's not something you want to do right now. We aren't ready for healing in every area of life. One...

Yes, PTSD makes grieving worse. And grieving makes PTSD worse. It's a nasty cycle. When my good grandmother was killed, it REALLY threw me off. First, the grief was so much more intense than I think it would have been ordinarily. And all the self-blame and shame and self-hatred came roaring...

B, I do this most weeks in therapy. We deliberately revisit memories, which are recounted in present tense as if they are happening right at that moment. We do this until they no longer invoke involuntary panic and dissociation. My T keeps me present during the appointments, but afterward a...

This sounds to me like it's exactly the sort of thing hospitals are there for. Being suicidal with a plan and thinking you may very well carry out that plan is very dangerous. Please do tell your T.

That sounds rough, @Kopykat . Things that are supposed to happen in very early childhood are SO hard to do as adults. I don't struggle with object permanence, as my childhood was fine until I was 3.5. But emotional expression, a sense of being a separate person, initiative... things like that...

I was able to attach to objects up until I went into foster care and gave up everything except for some of my clothing. Now I keep a very loose hold on them. To me, the important things are the relationships I have with people around me. Everything else can be replaced. Special things given...

My experience was similar. I thought I hid my past so well from the world. I told two people in the world until I was 21, then I told a third. I thought nobody else had a clue. I acted so healthy and whole. People looked up to me as a pillar of strength. I excelled in many areas. But when...

I understand your need to address the trauma. Unfortunately, trying to do so in the 8 sessions the NHS gives you probably isn't the best idea. I've got a few friends on the NHS who have tried to address their trauma in the limited number of sessions available to them, and it's ended up just...