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I haven't kept a diary in decades. When I kept one as a child, my mother would find it, read it, rip out pages, and punish me for what I said. She was an incredibly skilled pathological liar. And she told such vivid stories. I didn't realize her process until I was an adult. She would...

I'm not doing well... which is nothing new. I'm an introvert. People drain me of energy, thanks to hypervigilance. But I'm very charismatic in person and a good conversationalist. I like talking to people and can form friendships fairly easily. I'm a respectful and successful flirt and am...

I can't get high. I think my dopamine system is utterly broken, thanks to childhood abuse and anhedonia in general. Is it genetic? I have no frame of reference. I get no pain relief with narcotics, thankfully, because I'd probably be an addict if I could. I get sharp, painful emotional...

Thanks to CSA, my sexuality was awakened very early. I had no access to the internet or tv. I had access to a public library once a month and a few movies. I developed a taste for a very uncommon 'type' of person. Fortunately for me, they are rare, but when I do meet one with a compatible...

I've got CPTSD from CSA from parents and their 'friends' starting with my mother at infancy. Father was a doctor. Mother had a masters in child psychology. She worked as a psycho-social rehab specialist with sex offenders in prison. (The irony is not lost on me.) My mother triangulated with the...

I have a lot of trauma around therapists and doctors. My father was a doctor who lost his medical license for sexually assaulting nurses and performing elective surgery on patients there for unrelated surgery. My mother was a child psychologist who worked with sex offenders in prison. They...

I'm a cis-woman in my mid 40s. I've been diagnosed with CPTSD, depression, DID, anxiety, anhedonia, and whatever label felt right at the time. I try to get therapy or medical treatment for my symptoms every few years, but I'm so triggered by the medical community that I drop out very quickly...