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Sufferer CPTSD, Depression, Paranoia, Anxiety, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

I'm a cis-woman in my mid 40s. I've been diagnosed with CPTSD, depression, DID, anxiety, anhedonia, and whatever label felt right at the time.

I try to get therapy or medical treatment for my symptoms every few years, but I'm so triggered by the medical community that I drop out very quickly.

I'm too traumatized for trauma therapy, and I've tried all the medications. I'm here to complain and commiserate.
 
hello bedbug. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.
I'm too traumatized for trauma therapy, and I've tried all the medications. I'm here to complain and commiserate.
empathy, para. there was no such thing as "trauma therapy" in 1972 when i started my recovery from the traumatic world of child prostitution. neither medical or psychiatric science knew quite what to do with me. i developed a stout case of doctor phobia since then. THEY have developed bunches of new labels and treatments have emerged since then, but i still don't have many expectations that THEY will know what pigeonhole to stuff me in. that complaining and commiserating i do in support groups such as this one, both live and online, has become my most trusted first step in untangling the psycho snot knots of my birthright. getting ^it^ into words and sharing those words in a supportive environment goes a long way toward figuring out how to remedy the symptoms.

i hope it serves you as well as it has served me. welcome aboard.
 
I'm a cis-woman in my mid 40s. I've been diagnosed with CPTSD, depression, DID, anxiety, anhedonia, and whatever label felt right at the time.

I try to get therapy or medical treatment for my symptoms every few years, but I'm so triggered by the medical community that I drop out very quickly.

I'm too traumatized for trauma therapy, and I've tried all the medications. I'm here to complain and commiserate.
I understand. The medical community
 
I used to suffer from terrible depression but then I was prescribed 20mg Escitalopram and it really helped. As far as I'm concerned, it's the best anti-depressant for me.
 
I understand. The medical community
I didn’t finish my posts oops. The medical community is hard to navigate when one feels lost in all these diagnoses. I didn’t really understand PTSD which I was diagnosed with 26 years ago so I just ignored it. I focused on the depression and anxiety… which was a mistake actually. I think I ignored it all because I felt it was my fault for not being strong enough…fast forward to 2020 when I found a new counselor by accident. I was in the hospital with a MDD episode. I have continued to speak to him on the phone since then. It took 2 years to trust … that he wouldn’t stop being there. He explained trauma to me. He explained that my symptoms were not consistent with a depression diagnosis. Learning this helped me understand what I am dealing with. I was lucky to find him. Therapy up until that time was cringe. Why am I sharing this? It took me a long time to accept what really happened to my nerves and brain due to my childhood experiences. Learning this really helped… it opened the door to possibilities to change my thinking and accept and love myself enough to start being more gentle with myself…. Something that is hard to do… but it has pointed me in a more hopeful direction. Welcome to the forum. There are a lot of good people here.
 

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