Sufferer Hi I am Dawn-CPTSD/depression/anxiety

[catsr4me]

I am a mother of 3 kids and a wife, also a veteran. I have been through several trauma's in my life, but the last one was prolonged and what made me develop into Complex PTSD. I am currently suffering through what I call an "episode", that has lasted about a week and within my "episodes" I slip in and out of feeling fine then back into the throws of it because even mondain crap can retrigger me once I am in these prolonged "episodes". I have no idea if that at all made any sense to anyone, but that is why I finally went online searching for people to talk to. I do not know anyone personally who has this and do not know if anyone else experiences what I do (in a similar way). I am a completely different person when it happens and I cannot seem to find skills that "snaps me out" of an episode. I literally have to like sit it out, sometimes I take an antipsychotic but that doesn't "abort" it for good just temporarily. Anyways, I cannot wait to hear how other people describe how their PTSD feels, because when I read text books it doesn't really translate into the feelings I am feeling in a way I understand what is happening.

 

[Riley Jones]

I am a mother of 3 kids and a wife, also a veteran. I have been through several trauma's in my life, but the last one was prolonged and what made me develop into Complex PTSD. I am currently suffering through what I call an "episode", that has lasted about a week and within my "episodes" I slip in and out of feeling fine then back into the throws of it because even mondain crap can retrigger me once I am in these prolonged "episodes". I have no idea if that at all made any sense to anyone, but that is why I finally went online searching for people to talk to. I do not know anyone personally who has this and do not know if anyone else experiences what I do (in a similar way). I am a completely different person when it happens and I cannot seem to find skills that "snaps me out" of an episode. I literally have to like sit it out, sometimes I take an antipsychotic but that doesn't "abort" it for good just temporarily. Anyways, I cannot wait to hear how other people describe how their PTSD feels, because when I read text books it doesn't really translate into the feelings I am feeling in a way I understand what is happening.

Welcome to our community—I'm truly glad you're here. It sounds like you're navigating a challenging journey, and reaching out to connect with others who understand can be a powerful step. Many in our community share similar experiences with episodes related to PTSD and CPTSD, and finding others' stories often brings a sense of validation and understanding.

myptsd.com offers a space where you can share your experiences and learn from others who have walked a similar path. You'll find a range of discussions that highlight the unique ways PTSD and CPTSD manifest in people’s lives, and you might discover insights into some strategies others have found helpful. Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all approach, and it’s okay to explore different coping mechanisms at your own pace.

While connecting here is valuable, I also encourage you to consider seeking professional support if you're not already. A therapist with experience in trauma can help you develop personalized strategies to manage episodes and work through the underlying challenges. You're not alone in this, and support is available.

Please bring your voice into our forums. We are here to support each other, and your experiences and insights are important to us. Take care, and know that this community is a safe place for you to share and connect.

 

[PamelaS]

I am a mother of 3 kids and a wife, also a veteran. I have been through several trauma's in my life, but the last one was prolonged and what made me develop into Complex PTSD. I am currently suffering through what I call an "episode", that has lasted about a week and within my "episodes" I slip in and out of feeling fine then back into the throws of it because even mondain crap can retrigger me once I am in these prolonged "episodes". I have no idea if that at all made any sense to anyone, but that is why I finally went online searching for people to talk to. I do not know anyone personally who has this and do not know if anyone else experiences what I do (in a similar way). I am a completely different person when it happens and I cannot seem to find skills that "snaps me out" of an episode. I literally have to like sit it out, sometimes I take an antipsychotic but that doesn't "abort" it for good just temporarily. Anyways, I cannot wait to hear how other people describe how their PTSD feels, because when I read text books it doesn't really translate into the feelings I am feeling in a way I understand what is happening.

Hi Catsr4me. Welcome to the forum. I hope that you find encouragement and wisdom from the people here. I have basically lived in a state of nonstop triggering for the past two years until just a few weeks ago when my boundaries were finally recognized. I can understand your episodes. I have lost time in the past two years. Sometimes a day. Sometimes two weeks. Sometimes longer. However, long it takes me to stop what happens to me when I get triggered. I’m doing research now and learning a lot about what happens inside our body. Hoping that helps me to figure out how to mitigate the triggering so that it doesn’t continue to cause me to be unable to function. I hope you feel understood and safe here. Many people here have experience and share wisdom they have learned along the way. I hope you find what you’re looking for and it helps you to move forward.

 

[arfie]

hello cats. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

I am a mother of 3 kids and a wife, also a veteran.

ditto. u.s. army, 1973-76, currently on my second parenting career with 3 orphans, 11, 9 and 5. i miss retirement. i started my psychotherapy while i was serving in germany. that therapy seqwayed into the veteran's administration.

I am currently suffering through what I call an "episode", that has lasted about a week and within my "episodes" I slip in and out of feeling fine then back into the throws of it because even mondain crap can retrigger me once I am in these prolonged "episodes". I have no idea if that at all made any sense to anyone,

it made solid sense to me, but i wouldn't expect to make sense to anyone who hasn't experienced it. may they never have the experience by which to understand it. i wouldn't wish that understanding on my worst enemy. sometimes i feel guilty for taking so much comfort in finding people who do have the experience to understand. more often i find myself wondering if i can trust someone who does have the experience to understand. yes, i feel guilty for that, too. as the psychoses(pl) turn. . .

anyhoo. . .

welcome aboard. i hope you find stabilizing companionship here.

 

[catsr4me]

Hi Catsr4me. Welcome to the forum. I hope that you find encouragement and wisdom from the people here. I have basically lived in a state of nonstop triggering for the past two years until just a few weeks ago when my boundaries were finally recognized. I can understand your episodes. I have lost time in the past two years. Sometimes a day. Sometimes two weeks. Sometimes longer. However, long it takes me to stop what happens to me when I get triggered. I’m doing research now and learning a lot about what happens inside our body. Hoping that helps me to figure out how to mitigate the triggering so that it doesn’t continue to cause me to be unable to function. I hope you feel understood and safe here. Many people here have experience and share wisdom they have learned along the way. I hope you find what you’re looking for and it helps you to move forward.

Thank you!

 

[catsr4me]

hello cats. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

ditto. u.s. army, 1973-76, currently on my second parenting career with 3 orphans, 11, 9 and 5. i miss retirement. i started my psychotherapy while i was serving in germany. that therapy seqwayed into the veteran's administration.

it made solid sense to me, but i wouldn't expect to make sense to anyone who hasn't experienced it. may they never have the experience by which to understand it. i wouldn't wish that understanding on my worst enemy. sometimes i feel guilty for taking so much comfort in finding people who do have the experience to understand. more often i find myself wondering if i can trust someone who does have the experience to understand. yes, i feel guilty for that, too. as the psychoses(pl) turn. . .

anyhoo. . .

welcome aboard. i hope you find stabilizing companionship here.

Thank you! And I think that is so wonderful those kids have a home, even though its probably feeling too much (I assume your about my parents age from those service dates), mine are 1996-2000 & 2004(Iraq call up) Marines.

 

[arfie]

thank you for your service, cat. i am near enough to your parent's age. i was busy parenting my first teenage boys when you enlisted. i would need to run a web search to know what military actions were hot during your tour. i was engaged in the undeclared wars in our public schools.

if i may stray a bit off topic? stop reading if i may not.

have you been able to form sustainable bonds with any of your fellow female vets? i haven't. after my enlistment, i went on to a career in construction and engineering. more so there. in the military i was forced to billet with my fellow WACs, but in the private sector i found myself dumbstruck when i encountered a fellow female on the job. even now, into retirement, discovering one of my peers at a social event ushers in an awkward silence. it is easier for me to talk about my years as a child prostitute than to discuss the non-traditional career which commenced with my enlistment into the army.

 

[catsr4me]

thank you for your service, cat. i am near enough to your parent's age. i was busy parenting my first teenage boys when you enlisted. i would need to run a web search to know what military actions were hot during your tour. i was engaged in the undeclared wars in our public schools.

if i may stray a bit off topic? stop reading if i may not.

have you been able to form sustainable bonds with any of your fellow female vets? i haven't. after my enlistment, i went on to a career in construction and engineering. more so there. in the military i was forced to billet with my fellow WACs, but in the private sector i found myself dumbstruck when i encountered a fellow female on the job. even now, into retirement, discovering one of my peers at a social event ushers in an awkward silence. it is easier for me to talk about my years as a child prostitute than to discuss the non-traditional career which commenced with my enlistment into the army.

I very much struggle with identity/understanding of females. So for me when I was in the Marines I basically became very man brained. When I got out and became a nurse, it was SO HARD to shift into the female world. I never ever fully adjusted. I currently really don't have friends. I do not feel I have the confidence or ability to understand either sex now. I feel like an imposter with both. PTSD helped me become even more confused and isolated. So I went from mentally hating on women as a Marine and then re-integrating into the female world and now after a couple failed marriage's I am hate on men. My rational mind knows I should not hate on any group, but my subconscious mind is like "what in the hell is going on" with both sexes.

 

[arfie]

odd as it may seem, the army was my first grand exposure to women. my 5 sisters don't count because they are as rough as i am. i was WAAAAY too rough for even the most brass-ovaried of my classmates, etc. i had 299 female roommates in boot camp and nothing but women in all but one the barracks i lived in. the co-ed barracks were pretty cool. i enjoyed that experience tremendously, but my roommates were still female. i learned more about women in the army than anyplace before or since. well. . . two of my foster kids are girls, ages 6 and 9. they are my first girls and i feel like i'm taking a crash course. it drives me up a wall when people buy them kiddie cosmetics. oh, what a 6 year old can do with nail polish.

but civilian women remain a mystery to me, even my fellow engineers. when i see another woman on a job site, it's like both of us go into shock and can't speak. medicos of both genders and all ranks are from another planet.