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No. I haven’t slept well since I broke my neck - hangman’s break - 4 yrs ago. My back is a mess. I’m in constant pain. I wish I could sleep. I wish my husband was someone I could talk with. He uses everything against me. If he knows I’m self-conscious about something he will use it later. I make...

I am terrified because of my financial situation - very, very little income and dependent on my bullying husband. I put myself in this situation. It isn’t surprising. I learned how to live at 5 yrs old when my grandfather seduced me with alcohol, money and candy. I lost my virginity summer of...

This is a refuge. It's only here that I've been able to tell that I am feeling the way I am because what I've been through. Non of the people who call themselves medical professionals could tell me if I should (feel this way) or not. You can't know what this is like unless you're been through...

I actually had a reply written, then thought better of posting it because, well, just because. I mean, Sandstone, you're still here questioning people why they are here when they have all these tools to apply. Why are you here if you're so much better? You don't actually say that, but you do...

Oh my. First off, congratulations on your weight loss, and your new life of making better choices in that arena! I totally relate. My Mom called me her "big boned girl" probably because I didn't fit into one shirt or something. I look at my kindergarten class picture, I'm close to being the...

I am so sorry this happened to you. My husband didn't believe me when I told him about ONE of my rapes. He doesn't know it but I picture an axe, a wedge between us for that. It was worse than a slap in the face. I've been in therapy 45 years. I've only been working on PTSD for the past year. I...

me too!

I'm under the impression I probably won't get "over it". Not trying to be negative, I just am! I'm the most negative person I've ever known. I didn't set out to be this way, but when something goes on for 58 years, and you stuff it, keep the secrets, whatever else - too exhausted. I'm thinking...

There often are, worth a try! Good luck.

Hi. I knew early on that I HATED my birth name. I got rid of that one, only to not be able to stick to another. All variations of my nick name. I can tell you for sure, you change it too much, and it will catch up with you when you retire. Those people up there at SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE, a lot...

Thank you. I feel your pain as well. For some reason I can hardly breathe when I'm on this site. I start rambling, then I delete so many of my pathetic life memories. I don't know why I would have so little self-esteem that I can't post an anonymous comment. I'm pissed! I try to control my...

I was always called clumsy it seems like mostly by my dad, (but I now know it was due to constant fear, uncertainty, scared all the time) an attention seeker, and why was this little girl so damned nervous all the time. (Everyone knew.) Over my life time from around 17 years old doctors and all...

I'm 63. The abuse started at 5, along with sexual abuse, drink the whiskey and sugar little girl, and here are some chocolate covered peanut clusters. It went on w that "grand father" for years. One year ago this month I realized that I was misdiagnosed forever, over 43 years, everything from...

I'm not sure how to post/reply, I do my best. SRG, are you saying it gets better? My grief, anger, sadness - someday's I think of driving to the mountains, leave the car some random place, and walking into the forest. Just keep walking. I wouldn't take provisions, it's so cold I would just go to...

Thank you for your suggestion. Yes, I was with an organization 20 years ago when my son was 2. His father was both emotionally and physically, and when he threatened me with a gun, I disappeared. I've been to many shelters for a month at a time each, and reconnected with them a few months ago...

Yesterday went pretty well. I over took my benzos so that's why. I know I'll run out early and big suffer then, but damn it, I need relief sometimes. I don't get "high" on them, but I've been on valium the vast majority of my life, and after so many decades, it's hard to function without. If you...

Thank you. After a lifetime of drinking, it's almost unbearable. I stuffed the anger all my life until April of 17. That's 57 years, because I was 5 when it all started and never stopped. All those medical pros called it anxiety, depression. I realized it's anger, and sadness. I can't figure...

I'm so tired, so, so, tired of not being able to function. I see a doctor for meds, they don't do all that much, and a counselor who is ok, but she can't fix this life. I'm always in tears, I rarely leave the house, I have literally 1 friend and she's getting tired of me so I'm backing off. I...

I give myself little credit when due. Monday we decide to clean leaves, I know I wrote about this. However I didn't give myself credit for realizing what he was doing. I woke up out of a light sleep and it's dark out. He could have so easily woke me up. He knew I wanted to get them done. (see...

He won't give me money for my license renewal until the night before. It's at the beginning of the month, so always long lines. I'm using money he gave me for 3 bills, to the penny mind you, to pay for my license. I won't be punished. He can find something else. His own sister told me he'd...

I just realized yesterday. He sets me up for all his verbal attacks!!! He thinks this through! Yesterday, not raining, he decides to blow leaves off roof (necessary in these parts). I was all over the idea of raking and bagging, as usual. I feel asleep. When I woke up it was dark. "Why didn't...

No. I gave up everything....meaning all state and fed aid. takes forever to get back on, and now SSI wants 20,000 overpmt. They told me nothing would change w SSI since I would still be diabled. (They even told that to my friend who was helping me with everything legal because I didn't...

YES. I did. They determined I wasn't sleeping well. cpap I couldn't use. thanks.

I don't know why I can talk about the sexual abuse and not about the horrendous surrounds that I grew up in. It was unbearable from the start. Tiny little shack with outhouse when I was born. Back in that time - late 50's and through the 60's. ice cold potty trips became a thing of the past...