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Many of you probably don’t know my story, some of you do. It involved a light aircraft crash that I had to identify the victims of in the wreckage. It was truly truly awful. I have been through some very dark and hard times with PTSD but just recently have been doing pretty well. However, my...

Hello, just a quick little message to say hi. It's a long time since I have been on here. I was kind of relying on the forum and chat too much as at one point it was all that kept me going. I also think I made myself unpopular with the mods and so I quietly walked away. I have looked in and...

I am really not sure myself of how or why this is happening Joeylittle. The thing I hadn't mentioned is that I recently lost my beloved dad who I was very close to. Throughout the grieving process I have had most of my friends just turn their backs and walk away. The combination of PTSD and...

Moshputmonkey, I don't have a therapist that's the trouble. I am on a waiting list to see one but here in the UK the wait is so long. I don't understand it all myself, I wish I did. I just seem to stop myself from sleeping. I am so messed up right now. Thank you for caring, I really...

Does anybody else purposely deprive themselves of sleep as kind of a punishment to themselves? I am just not sleeping properly at all and it's largely self inflicted. I keep myself awake almost as a kind of punishment. It's kind of self harming or abusing. I am having severe problems with...

I lost my dad last night. He was 88 and has been unwell for a long time but it's still so hard. I am broken into a million pieces and can't even begin to know what to do to cope. I adored my dad. He was my world. My hubby and I live with my mum and despite me being 51 she has forbidden me to...

I could badly do with some hugs right now. I love hugging and being hugged, they help so much but I never get hugged. Sending warm comforting hugs to anyone who needs them :hug:

So very sad. :cry: Be safe, be well my friend

I have messaged you my friend :hug:

Really ironic considering the trauma that caused my PTSD but I desperately wanted to be an air accident investigator. It fascinates me totally.

Today I am incredibly grateful for the friendship of someone so kind and caring. I am blessed

Oh Bradford, thank you so very much for your kind words. They have come along at just the right time I can assure you. I have had a rough few days and feel as if I have driven away two people that I look upon as close friends. Both of them I value incredibly but they have gone very quiet and...

Trust me to find this late! Great thread @Ragdoll Circus !! This is really hard! Blackjack, you care greatly about your friends and will do anything you can to help them. You always want to put their needs before your own.

Thank you for your reply. The whole grief thing is so weird because I feel like I have already lost dad in a way. The person I knew and loved has gone and all that is left is the body that he came in. It's a really hard situation right now. Today he was muttering loads in his sleep and...

Well my dad is still just about with us. He has dropped even more weight and now even when the care staff wake him to try and get food into him, he does not open his eyes. He can no longer drink anything, he just chokes on it. His drinks are all having to be thickened with a starch to the...

Hi James, it is not about how others see it that matters. What matters is how it felt to you. If it felt like more than experimentation to you then you have every right to be troubled by it. What I would say is please try not to feel shame about it as it was not your fault, you were not old...

Yes, I most certainly did and I appreciate every one of them. I have not had much time to reply as yet as it is a busy and very stressful time for my family right now. I have taken everything on board but sometimes the facts just seem stacked up and pointing to how I feel. I really do appreciate...

Just recently when I have gone into chat I have noticed that the conversation drops off and people leave, people that I used to chat with a lot, and then once I say goodbye the conversation picks up again. Maybe I am being paranoid I don't know but I cannot keep adding to my anxiety and...

I am giving up. Twice in the last 8 hours I have been made to realise I am just not meant to have friends. Once in 'the outside world' having happily given all of my evening trying to help a friend and was just made to feel a nuisance, awkward and unwanted and then once again gone into chat...

Bliss, thank you so much for your reply. I too always expect people to not want to know me, to hate me and see me as a nuisance. It's an awful feeling isn't it. I am doing nothing but cry and feel wretched and largely alone right now. I am at my wits end.

I don't know if anyone else feels this. Just lately I feel I am struggling more and more to maintain friendships on various levels. Here I often go into chat and follow the conversations but am too scared to join in for fear of not being wanted there. I often feel I am in the way or spoiling...

No change with dad really. He is still bed ridden, asleep virtually all the time and refusing food most of the time when he is awake. He cannot move his legs at all and cannot speak properly. I am more exhausted than I knew it was possible to be because I just can't sleep properly. The...

Thank you so much. I totally understand that having the chance to help makes you feel better. It does me too. I like it when people reach out to me and I can help, if only in a tiny way. It makes me feel I have a worth and a value in life. I guess I have to try to remember how I feel when...

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. I am struggling greatly again tonight, it's 2am, I am laying awake and feeling really lonely. My mind keeps wandering to places I really don't want it to go but I can't seem to stop it. To read your messages of support is very comforting and...

Friday, I do have to try and deal with this, to challenge it and try to alter my thinking. I have made steps towards this. I am doing better with it than I was but when times are really tough it still raises its ugly head much more forcefully. I am learning to reach out, to ask for help and to...