Search results

I first met this T six years ago. worked together for three years before he moved and he referred me to someone local he’d worked with. Learning he was moving was awful, as things had seemed to be progressing, but I felt okay about trying a different T. Met with her a few times then covid...

This is all helpful. how do I know it’s not me? I can be pretty unlikeable in therapy. I have early life issues and some of what I express involves anger and resentment and the sadness/shame and pain of loss/never having, and the reality of being different. It’s ugly sometimes. i have...

Do you find that knowing that your therapist likes you is important to how well the therapy works for you? And by like I guess I mean basically that he/she is open-minded about what you say, isn’t bothered too much by how you say things that are difficult to speak of, and will be generally...

I cry. A lot. Usually when I am alone as I know it saddens my spouse so when he approaches, I try to shield him from it. it just happens. The tears come. They often flow down my face without me realizing it. it’s not sobbing. i just cannot stop the tears overflowing and spilling. The why...

I don’t know if this is the same thing, but I get frustrated not with people I know but with public figures, those who choose to put themselves into the public sphere. This could just be because there are few people in my personal sphere, but I don’t take things out on those that are. My...

From what I have read, yes. A significant current trauma can activate stronger PTSD symptoms because of the way implicit memories get “stuck” to a current memory. A body memory of a physical injury follows the same pathways as memories of psychological injuries, picking up unresolved stuff...

Current events are a great example, at least here in the US. Myself, whether from my attachment trauma history or from my lifelong love of and study of history and current events, I am very aware of the danger ahead and can easily visualize several options for the day after the day after...

I’ve never had success in getting a therapist to allow me to tell or discuss my story. Both have actively discouraged it. In the sole group therapy I had, it was also received with the “you can’t say that, people get uncomfortable “ vibe. I find that odd, but accept it as something I cannot...

Perhaps this is also a time to show compassion and appreciation to yourself for the internal skills that your body developed to keep you safe. Things are in crisis right now and it is a good thing to keep aware of your surroundings and situation. Things might become chaotic and you will...

For me, my alone-ness wasn’t and hasn't been voluntary; it’s just how life worked out. It was imposed, and without any social links at all it is terribly difficult to forge new ones, despite my efforts. People’s lives get filled with children and family and they no longer have room or interest...

I call them ghosts. People I have known and cared about who disappeared due to moves, and who nobody else that I currently know knows. I remember them, but no one else does. They were important to me, but I wasn’t important enough for them; when you move, your old friends move on quickly and...

i find this description so helpful. we moved a lot too and I haven’t really linked it in this way before, but it makes sense. goals feel heavy to me because daily life felt (and still feels) very much like trying to roll a stone uphill; i had to keep trying, because I wanted a life, but...

Heheh. Here, in a nutshell, is the enigma that is the USA and why we don’t make sense to outsiders. It is different. There is much beauty in the East and Southeast, but to someone like me whose immigrant ancestors arrived in Galveston and were never part of those cultures or lifeways, it’s...

I wasn’t aware of that frame, but what you said makes the Egypt/New Orleans connection make perfect sense. New Orleans may have a French name but it was possessed and governed longer by Spain than France. Spain of course has a long history of Islamic interactions, where the knowledge and...

Kind of off topic, but it’s probably not something folks notice much. The pioneer past isn’t far away here in the western half of the US. My grandmother‘s parents and their children settled and broke virgin land among the last of the Comanches in west Texas. Chicory coffee and other make-do’s...

I heard that the early settlers, especially in Louisiana where chicory grows wild, had a hard time getting coffee at all, so they stretched it with chicory, and the tradition stuck.

Yes! It’s great if you like cream and sugar in your coffee. It reminds me of New Orleans. It’s strong. Similar to Vietnamese coffee. Best au lait.

I enjoy Sumatran coffee beans. They’re dark and rich but not bitter. My better half grinds it fresh every morning. i would suggest you experiment with Starbucks coffee varieties. They used to have Peaberry, and many others, all well-roasted. Gold Coast and Verona, and their Anniversay...

I don’t either. but at a T’s suggestion I have used recent and a set of positive childhood pics of myself as a way to focus my attention on myself. I have pretty good success tolerating a (flattering) recent pic of myself at a happy or self-care oriented event. seeing it helps me remember...

I experienced something like what you are describing in this sentence I'm in a place of: feeling exhausted all the time, whole body hurts, want to cancel the world and do nothing, be nothing, see no-one. But also – relaxing is hard. I was exhausted. My stress cup was full but I didn't...

I sometimes go offline in an odd way. I want to do X, such as listen to a podcast. I turn it on, begin listening, then realize I don’t know what they‘re referring to. I’ve blanked for milliseconds for some reason. It keeps happening. Here gone here gone here gone. It’s super annoying when...

To me and my growing brain, each move to a new city/state meant the loss of everyone who existed there. They didn’t die, but they died to me. These people had never really existed for my parents in the first place, as their hearts and minds and friends lived elsewhere and they made little...

I have only had two therapists. What I have learned about myself is that “trying harder” is itself a dysfunctional response. I should trust myself more and walk away sooner. If I get the feeling they are not on my side, I need to trust it. My situation/life experience is such that I seem to...

What I’m hearing from you is that you’re looking for validation that it really is okay to shrug off your responsibility to family. I can imagine that JW teach that family is forever and that your tendency to reach for judgemental terms comes from that framework. i think what you’re hearing...

Self love is hard sometimes, because of what it is. A baby’s brain learns to love itself by experiencing the love of others. Self “anything” is internalized external experiences. A lack of those external positive experiences means one’s baby brain does not get “wired” properly during...