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glad the nasal is helping with suicidal thoughts joeylittle. yes, my clinic has the same requirements on having someone pick you up. fortunately i have a daughter, son, and friend available especialy during the virus they are even more available. i walked there yesterday, it took 45 minutes and...

thanks for your input joeylittle. gosh, a lot has happened with me (and the world) since March 8, just over 2 weeks ago since I posted last here about ketamine. My TMS doc shut his practice down for clients a week ago Monday, after receiving 12 treatments. That was the day I had been...

BeTheLight Everything I am learning about Ketamine, I imagine it helped your grandmother and gave her some relief. Maybe the people around her considered it abuse but that would have been before it was studied and now regularly used for people with mental illness..... that's my take on it...

Now that sounds like common sense talking, eveharrington....... my impatience is running rampant right now that I just found out there is a Ketamine clinic nearby but I have been so disappointed by high anticipation of the "next" fix so many times. I hate to wait another month but it could be...

apparently there is a slightly higher risk of seizures if they are done together so my TmS doc would prefer I do one or the other. I approached him with doing both together.

I have had 7 days of TMS and just found out there is a Ketamine clinic in my town. I am thinking of quitting the TMS and going for the Ketamine.It is done via an IV. Can anyone here share their experience with either? Apparantly they both don't last forever so you need ongoing treatments. TMS...

dance

I hear ya on that one! good point

I can relate to this, grit! I am just getting calmed down enough inside to be able to see the importance of exploring my thoughts and feelings and feeling like i might even matter. One thing I get is that if I don't, I am screwed!

thanks for the book recommendation, candor! I am reading authors preview and find this information so extremely pertinent/helpful to where I am at currently at. here is the link to the book Dead Link Removed

i feel my ptsd experience is being minimized if I think this way. I totally recognize others without ptsd have limits of interaction depending on how they experience their life. I don't believe these ones have the trauma associated with such decisions. They cannot be put in the same category of...

good catch, blackemerald! ok, I'll put it this way, which is pretty well described in this thread. Yes, I do have relationships. But I cannot have one with anyone without feeling anywhere on the scale of uncomfortable to totally traumatized inside. The only relief is to keep encounters to a...

sounds wonderful, candor!!!

I will check into the book recommendation, Candor and I, too am being open to all that is and have discovered this situation and will always believe this can shift as I keep on the journey.....as it already has shifted me in so many ways..... I never thought I could be a recluse and now here I...

I can't begin to tell you how frustrating and saddening it is. I have had 3 marriages, numerous boyfriends(been single for a while now), 3 children, grandchildren (who I see very frequently) and interaction is extremely triggering for me.... I shake inside and, though I love them, are happy when...

I cannot have relationships strictly because I have PTSD!

Tinyflame, what comes up for me when I isolate for too long and let my misconceptions of how safe the people in my world outside my door are, the main thing is that I feel more miserable and start dwelling on the idea of "not wanting to be on this planet anymore". I guess the other thing is that...

tinyflame, i hear ya loud and clear. The trauma that other/others inflicted on us early on has created this pattern of thinking. I have tried to avoid others but it seems I keep needing them also. So am trying to arrange my life so I can venture out into situations that I know I will feel a...

Thanks for replies everyone! I have decided that I am perfectly fine keeping a "no contact" with this sister. Our dynamics are, no doubt in large part due to our extremely dysfunctional family dynamics. Although it was so long ago, it seems the body memories and relationship patterns will never...

I love all you said, sideways, and agree wholeheartedly. A part of me is really glad he gets to have a good relationship with aunt and cousins. It gives him a connection to his roots. My experience of aunts and uncles and roots was minimum (geography)and filled with subtle resentments I sensed...

I admire that you were able to pull this off, friday!! It is my goal to remain with this same attitude and hopefully, someday, without inner abandonment issues

friday "That’s not trying to play down your hurt, but to simply priortise your love for your son over your relationship with your sister." yup, that's what I've done for years, friday.... and i don't really see their relationship ever going south..... she loves to be "the great one" and in...

Oh yes it does. All you described are symptoms of c-ptsd. You are at the right place here! @wishforescape, my experience around speaking to a therapist has been a gradual trust. For quite a few years I did not have the cognitive awareness/language nor trust to speak to a therapist about all...

Thanks NIKI. Nice to meet you too. Thanks each person for joining in on this discussion. I really feel supported

Thanks for sharing your poem. Wow, descriptive. I'm learning that the only way to quiet the screams is to try to listen to them.