I can't begin to tell you how frustrating and saddening it is. I have had 3 marriages, numerous boyfriends(been single for a while now), 3 children, grandchildren (who I see very frequently) and interaction is extremely triggering for me.... I shake inside and, though I love them, are happy when they leave as the presence of another human being frightens me immensely. It has been something I have come to realize after I was diagnosed and exploring what my triggers are. I treat them well and welcoming but the "getting close" thing sends me over the edge. It helps to know so I can handle more effectively my addictive and self-sabotaging inclinations. I can find a certain peace when alone, though that has its triggers too. Yes, "hell" is a good word for my world oftentimes. But I choose to live and find ways to enjoy life despite the hellish times.That I have finally accepted regarding to my ex sufferer. It was a had lesson to learn! It took me 2,5 years. It must be extremely frustrating for sufferers to long to open up to a relationship....to let go of the fear and surrender. To be drawn to somebody....being caught between wanting to let them get close and at the same time wanting to run for the hills. It must be hell.