blackemerald1
MyPTSD Pro
I agree that ptsd in some instances taints and probably shapes our relationships and how they work for us and others. Of course it does.
In some instances I think it ruins what could have been beautiful but in others it also creates another kind of beautiful.
There are many absolutely awesome relationships that I get a glimpse of by both sufferers and supporters on this forum for instance.
People grow, change and I don't know - sometimes good things come out of the wreckage of this mental illness. Other times it destroys whatever good could have been. It's a bit of a lottery isn't it?
I expect very little in the relationships stakes. Or, maybe I expect a lot or too much? Not sure anymore but anyway I'm not convinced in my case and I wonder in your circumstance, if you can entirely attribute ptsd to be the only cause for the failure of all of your relationships and the reason you choose not to enter personal relationships.
I too have withdrawn from the one on one, spousal, cohabitating type of relationship arena. I don't want to risk myself and my wellness that far. Perhaps I am completely wrong and should be throwing myself into the fray and seeing if that type of relationship is ok for me. But I don't want to anymore. So I completely understand your point of view.
But it's still a choice I make. It's based on lots of reasons but not purely ptsd.
I too have relationships with friends, my children, grand children and I too shut the door and hibernate after relatively short periods of time in their company. That says nothing about them though. They are wonderful and I am responsible for how I feel.
I wonder if it's to do with my ptsd or really more likely simply that I am not used to that level of interaction and activity? I avoid stressful circumstances and people. Children and grandchildren are wonderful and I love them but they are still stressful.
^Everyone does this to a certain extent.
Perhaps your ptsd means that this is a very finite and definite not negotiable time period.
Perhaps for others it is less defined.
But, I know that everyone has their predefined limits in terms of relationships.
Maybe mental illness, ptsd, whatever has some bearing on where those limits may be, but also completely 'healthy' people choose when to shut the door, take a break, see or do something else too.
In some instances I think it ruins what could have been beautiful but in others it also creates another kind of beautiful.
There are many absolutely awesome relationships that I get a glimpse of by both sufferers and supporters on this forum for instance.
People grow, change and I don't know - sometimes good things come out of the wreckage of this mental illness. Other times it destroys whatever good could have been. It's a bit of a lottery isn't it?
I expect very little in the relationships stakes. Or, maybe I expect a lot or too much? Not sure anymore but anyway I'm not convinced in my case and I wonder in your circumstance, if you can entirely attribute ptsd to be the only cause for the failure of all of your relationships and the reason you choose not to enter personal relationships.
I too have withdrawn from the one on one, spousal, cohabitating type of relationship arena. I don't want to risk myself and my wellness that far. Perhaps I am completely wrong and should be throwing myself into the fray and seeing if that type of relationship is ok for me. But I don't want to anymore. So I completely understand your point of view.
But it's still a choice I make. It's based on lots of reasons but not purely ptsd.
I too have relationships with friends, my children, grand children and I too shut the door and hibernate after relatively short periods of time in their company. That says nothing about them though. They are wonderful and I am responsible for how I feel.
I wonder if it's to do with my ptsd or really more likely simply that I am not used to that level of interaction and activity? I avoid stressful circumstances and people. Children and grandchildren are wonderful and I love them but they are still stressful.
The only relief is to keep encounters to a minimum and give myself some time before engaging again.
^Everyone does this to a certain extent.
Perhaps your ptsd means that this is a very finite and definite not negotiable time period.
Perhaps for others it is less defined.
But, I know that everyone has their predefined limits in terms of relationships.
Maybe mental illness, ptsd, whatever has some bearing on where those limits may be, but also completely 'healthy' people choose when to shut the door, take a break, see or do something else too.