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This is probably the route I am going to have to take to create income in my life and keep somewhat occupied, or at least as occupied as I can handle. Self employment, I mean. I know this is an international site, but for us in the US, is it only me or does it seem that working for others has...

I work for several companies as an IC and I found out about them online. I don't know if I can give the web address out where you can get more info? If it's OK I'd be glad to. Anyway, at first you will more than likely only get the low paying ones but once you build a rep, you will start...

I am on it and have been since my attempt at waiting tables in Northern Utah this late Spring. When I returned home the first thing I did the very next day was to take the light rail into downtown Phoenix and go to a walk in clinic. They were unable to help me due to the "nature of my issues"...

Thanks everyone for the replies! There is a little more to the story that I did not post originally as I did not want my post to become a novel. But I think maybe these few details are relevant. The day I had my first panic attack I left the floor and went to employee housing around the...

I bought a book at a thrift shop about adrenal exhaustion and when I read the symptoms I had most of them and I could relate to the case studies of sufferers in the book. I think that was D123 posted above is so true - things can stay out of balance for years. And I definitely feel as if I...

I've been away from here for several months and I'm back now after a fairly disastrous summer of thinking I could get my act together on cue. It's good to be back here, and I realize once more that PTSD is not something I can just wish away or mark some dates on my calendar in the future that I...

Thanks everyone! It seems as if I am going through a dark period right now but I am just putting one foot in front of the other. To MagiLisu - no I am not in therapy at the moment. I don't have insurance but am thinking I can at least start therapy by going down to Mexico. I live about...

I have had a rough couple of days and I find myself just trying to put one foot in front of the other and just keep going. I'm not sure what has triggered this but I have been wanting to just disconnect and hide and not deal with anything the past few days. I have had obligations to fulfill...

I found hotels to be very difficult to work in as in food and beverage they tend to be understaffed and it's like you are saying, when it's one person doing it all, it's very overwhelming. I often felt vulnerable to complaints and when they would occasionally be made all I could think of was...

I have been a waiter for many years - I've done it all, diners, fine dining, hotels. isolated National Parks, just all kinds of waiter jobs. Then PTSD clobbered me due to a series of events last summer - PTSD that dates back for many years that I kept denying and ignoring. Now there is no way...

I recently made what I considered a mistake after returning from my recent vacation. Actually, a couple of months before my vacation, I looked up this guy on Facebook that I dated a little over ten years ago and sent a message wishing him well and giving a few bits of news. I heard nothing for...

I'd love to get a CD of water sounds - something like the ocean or maybe water falling over rocks. Something to do with nature and water sounds very soothing.

There have been some really powerful words posted here, at least for me. I like what gizmo said about our childhood survival working against us - that which got me through those awful years - especially for me learning to be ok with and prefering to be completely alone - very much seems to work...

Since I have come back from my vacation a few days ago I have faced what I consider some pretty stressful situations. I have been thinking of the turtles sunning on logs I saw in Barton Creek, in Austin Texas, right in this park in the middle of the city. The image calms me a little as here are...

I so can relate to Loner's post above. I ignored so much of the inner voice and gut instinct that told me that much of how society works is not working well for me and went along with it anyway - I think I did this to just keep myself going and to keep denying and burying the events that led to...

This is maybe (?) one good thing, if there is such a thing, about the PTSD for me.....I am learning here what does not work for me. I do believe I had a basic idea before of what does not work for me, but now I am really feeling it when confronted with something or someone or some situation that...

I too often just want to run away - but I wonder to what, to where, how will things be any different somewhere else? What exactly will be solved by running? But the thought is tempting. Given that I live in Phoenix, I sometimes think of Tucson - there are mountains outside of town called the...

I flew back to Phoenix yesterday from Austin and landed and it was like BOOM as soon as I arrived in baggage claim my cell phone was ringing with issues and problems to deal with. I find that I am just not in the mood to deal with much - I'm sure this is childish but I don't want to go back to...

This is an update on my vacation here in Austin, Texas. I am learning that I am able to get out and do things like go to museums, go to restaurants (this one is very draining though) and go to thrift shops (trying to get some decent clothes together).....I am able to do these things, yes, but...

I am on vacation at the moment in Austin, Texas. I have been doing what I need to do here but have also had some time to do some things for me. Today I took the tour of the state capital and before PTSD I would have been so into this and excited as I am a museum geek. It seems like excitement...

Sometimes I really wonder what is it with me? Here I am about to leave town for nine days to a place I honestly like - and with some time to do things for me - and I just feel nothing about it, totally numb and bland. I wish I could recapture that spark again, that joy, that fun.....Does...

I am taking off for Austin, Texas for ten days this coming Monday and am kind of looking forward to it as there will be some time for me and what I might want to do....but even with something positive about to happen, I am having such a hard time getting motivated to get packed and get going...

I don't know why this is happening, after having a few fairly decent days, but today I am having a really how energy day and the thought of getting off my futon to do anything is enough to make me feel more tired. This brings me down more as I had grand ideas of getting a lot done today....I...

I have an update. I am really glad I kept calm on this one and did not freak out and stress out. I received a voice mail this morning from the mystery shopping company, and I called them back. They passed these mystery shops off onto someone else and offered me a new (non targeted) shop right...

I seem to be doing a little better on this already. No great miracle cure but I am seeing some improvement and am even starting to sleep SIX hours a night, which is just amazing to me.....