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I have extreme difficulty asking for help. Many times in my life there was no one to ask, and other times I got blown off so I try to be very independent. But the truth is no one should be as alone as I am...like no man is an island Couple that with living with a psychopath where you were not...

Have not posted in awhile. Have been too busy being overwhelmed and ashamed...I hate all the shame I carry and feel most of it has been fed to me, and for whatever reason I was all to willing to accept it. Anyway, a rant and a vent. So this trauma therapy I started...she is a nice...

It has seemed like such a long time since the initial intake appt. with trauma counselor. I was on rocky ground before, but I am even worse now. I just cannot seem to get my head out of the past no matter what I do so I kinda have just stopped trying. My entire life since my father died when...

Have an appointment with therapist this Friday. It seems like a lifetime ago we had the intake appointment. I have continued to go downhill. I just cannot seem to get a grip. I want to somehow tell her without sounding like I am attacking her or the mental health system that part of the...

I am so not able to regulate right now...well, more like I am going off the f*cking deep end. Ever since the lid came off this ptsd, I cannot for the life of me get a grip or grounded....my mind is all over the place with flashbacks of my whole lifetime, and there is so much crap...mine and...

It has only been recently I have realized the degree of abuse I experienced with my mother and how it has basically ruled my whole life. To sum it up briefly and without going into specifics...here is the deal...she taught me there was not one acceptable thing about me, and I was the source of...

Ok, so I understand some of this is distorted thinking and can be looked at and changed. However, to me there are some things that are just fact and have to be worked with as is...acceptance whether you like it or not. Sometimes I get the best epiphanies in that period between sleep and...

I had the first appt. with trauma therapist this week. I have had therapy before but never with a trauma therapist. Wanted to give it a few days to process before posting. The appt. was basically intake with history and all that. She said next time we could discuss three different avenues of...

I am sitting here really depressed and probably dissociated. I feel like I have lost touch with myself and life in general. I know my ex did not cause all my issues (I had a lot before I met him), but was actively working on them...at least I thought I was. There is no doubt the marriage to...

In a reply to my introduction yesterday, someone said they almost had her convinced she could not change. Well, I have been walking around in the friggin' prison in my head for the last year saying to myself...they have finally convinced me and have been living as such. I thought it was all...

Have read this site for quite awhile...hesitated joining because I am old and feel beyond help. Have had many traumas in my life but only recently diagnosed with ptsd. Have had numerous dealings with mental health but misdiagnosed and went the gammit with the million drugs and shock...