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I had a trainer around the time of my trauma. Everything from the act of socializing in between reps or just the act of being around one is sometimes hell.

I have recently hired a personal trainer. This trainer helps me workout, exercise, etc. However I have come to realize that the more I am with this trainer the act of doing these physical exercises triggers me immensely. On the other hand I love the trainer themselves. Do I tell this trainer...

@jademegan, so much of what you said resonated with me. It's really hard to sleep as it is, and when I do, it's so inconsistent. I don't sleep well and on top of that, it's either too much or too little. It's gets so difficult to cope with these inconsistencies that I have this urge sometimes to...

Hi guys. I'm not sure what to do or if anyone knows has experienced this before. I'm having horrible delusions and paranoia. I've never felt such harsh symptoms. Imagine feeling like you're on the run. It's like I feel like I'm on some public spotlight being watched, talked about and observed...

I've asked this part what they wanted before. There are two parts. My abuser (who I also hallucinate) and this other, darker version of myself. This second part says it wants nothing more than to gut me and see me suffer the way it did when "he tortured us both." This second part talks as if it...

Thank you for your kindness and for sharing your personal experience as well. Life sure can be difficult for a lot of us here. It's interesting, because what your boyfriend said to you is something I internalize with myself. It's hard, because I can't show a consistent personality to the world...

That's a positive spin on things! Quite difficult for me to think like that, but fair enough and thanks.

Thank you all for your input! @shimmerz, interesting. IME (from what I noticed) your ideas on this made me remember that I think for me, it's quite the opposite. My alters (one of them is my abuser) knows how safe I feel in therapy and tries to do these things to keep me quiet so that I don't...

So, I've been with my current therapist for a few months now. Going to see her twice a week has to be the highlight of my entire existence right now, lol. It's my safe place. Plus, she's like a magician, haha. She reads me and seems to know me more than I know myself, most of the time. The only...

I know what you meant, I've just had bad experiences with certain therapists who did look at me differently and now that I have a good relationship with my T I don't wish that to come to an end. I guess it's habit to think I'll be judged. Always was. Still am.

Thanks for the informative and in depth reply. It calmed me down a little to hear perspective from someone who has it. Yes, I have a therapist. But I haven't tell her and I don't know if I mean to tell her. I just don't want to be looked at, differently.

Prazosin worked well for me for a few nights. I wouldn't say that it made my nightmares go away. I slept more deeply which was good, but I still woke up from nightmares, feeling depressed, the next morning. It calmed me down a lot, much like a sedative. So overall, I'd say I've had luck with it...

A long time ago, I was diagnosed with Borderline PD (Personality Disorder) and I hadn't taken it well. I didn't fully understand what it was and why people developed it and quite frankly, I still don't really understand it. Looking it up, though, there were so many YouTube videos that were...

Couldn't have said it better myself.

I understand where you're coming from. I felt clingy too, and like you, I realized that it was more or less because it helped me forget about my PTSD. The fifteen minutes (or an hour) of normalcy is finally when I've forgotten about it while feeling clingy in new or current relationships. Like...

This is just a rant in the hopes that people can relate and provide their own feedback or experiences, I'm not looking for any specific type of answer, but I'm hoping I'm not alone. I have the most confusing relationship with my mother. When I told her (it took all of my strength when I did...

I'm really sorry to hear about the experience you've endured, that sounds like it's a lot to live with and heal from and I hope it's going well for you now. No, I wasn't in a controlling relationship. I was a kid when whatever happened, happened. It was supposed to be someone who cared for me...

Welcome to the forums! I'm glad you found us and I'm really happy that you're trying EMDR to get back the version of yourself that you miss the most. Just my two cents: you seem pretty strong to me, just by coming on here and sharing. Good luck with EMDR and totally let us know how it's going...

A bit about my trauma: After years of hiding and repressing my past, it caught up to me. Now, everything I once knew is unrecognizable; the face I see in the mirror is a stranger. I was... abused. Drugged. Emotionally, physically and sexually--for a year. I once was a successful freelancer...