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  1. W

    Spiraling out with anxiety, have I lost it? Should I go to hospital?

    I am also very resistant to medication. I got ECT and it seemed to help for awhile. Of course, it’s not going to treat the trauma but it does change brain chemistry. I hope you reach out for help and get through this tough time...
  2. W

    How to help my son during divorce

    Thank you @Deanna's Gap ! Next week I am going to court to file a motion that gives my son his own lawyer to speak on his behalf when it comes time for setting a finalized parenting schedule. I learned from my lawyer that these child lawyers only cost $500 or so and provide an excellent way to...
  3. W

    How to help my son during divorce

    @Zencat Thank you - I need to remind him that he’s done nothing wrong. I’ve done everything but that. As someone with ptsd who internalized “deserving” what happened to me, I forget about not blaming myself - it creeps up. I wonder if my son blames himself. Unfortunately his father only took the...
  4. W

    How to help my son during divorce

    I am diagnosed with ptsd and getting professional help. Not working for the past month has gradually calmed down some of my symptoms. However, I am having a hard time supporting my son emotionally during the divorce process (which started over a year ago). After visiting with his dad for dinner...
  5. W

    ED Bulemia return to cope with pain

    Thank you for your replies! A lot has happened since May, when I originally posted. I left work on medical leave and didn’t come back for the remainder of the school year. I was in no shape to go to teach because the ptsd was so bad. I also went into a day treatment program for 3 weeks (12...
  6. W

    Anxiety/Fear when thinking about work

    My most recent job is teaching (from which I was laid off), and Sunday nights were the worst. Although my anxiety would start on Friday night. I completely understand that feeling of dread about returning to work after the weekend. I am very sorry you feel this way - it’s such a difficult...
  7. W

    Don’t maintain friendships

    Dear @DharmaGirl i wish you luck with the women’s group. I know what you mean about the self-talk - I do it too! One time I got out of the house too quickly and I looked like one of my cats that try to run out from time to time - they pause and start sniffing and looking around, like “now...
  8. W

    How much can I really do?

    @Mach123 I am so sorry - you are a caretaker and are dealing with cancer... I can’t imagine how tired you must feel. I understand about getting rid of people as triggers. People are triggering to me too - especially in large numbers, crowds. I spoke to my therapist yesterday about the...
  9. W

    How do you build/find self worth?

    @Spacefish thank you for sharing your story. At my partial hospitalization program, we did a lot of mindfulness and meditation. At first, I did think it was useful. But I was proven wrong when I started noticing flashbacks and triggers, which was much better than not noticing them and just...
  10. W

    How do you build/find self worth?

    @Spacefish I noticed you are new here - welcome! If I understand correctly, it sounds you had counterproductive therapy and the wound was opened and not in a good way... the struggle to live with ptsd is very real. The anger/rage was/is up for me too. In my case, I had no idea why I was so...
  11. W

    How much can I really do?

    I am a teacher and took last few weeks of school as medical leave. My ptsd flared up and I went through 3 weeks of a day program. My meds are set. I have a therapist. My money runs out in two months and there are debts. So, like any responsible single mother of 2, I began a job search. I reached...
  12. W

    Not a good day! I got punched in the face by a student today and ended up in hospital with concussion.

    @ms spock this is great news! It’s very validating to have someone basically tell you that you were right that something was very wrong - and it wasn’t you at all. I wish you the best with this. As a teacher, I know about toxic school climates. I am in the process of trying to leave teaching...
  13. W

    Don’t maintain friendships

    I agree. I have trouble wanting to talk to people. It’s very draining for me. Most of the time I am in pain and I need to hide that from people who reach out. I try yo save my pain fir counseling. This hiding of what I really feel and carrying on a normal conversation is exhausting. I am a...
  14. W

    desperately want to survive but drowning regardless

    Something I learned in therapy yesterday is that my responses to life and situations usually are colored by past trauma. Like when something happens - I am not just reacting to that but also to whatever was triggered in me from my past. I hadn’t taken that into account before. When things feel...
  15. W

    Does sex drive ever return?

    @somerandomguy it’s great that things have turned around for you. What kind of “work” did you need to do for it to get better, if you are comfortable answering?
  16. W

    Don’t maintain friendships

    Reading these posts helps me to not feel so alone. I isolate myself as much as possible and avoid going outside. I was diagnosed with agoraphobia, but it goes deeper than that. I find human interaction exhausting, but then feel guilty that I don’t reciprocate to people who care. My longterm...
  17. W

    Does sex drive ever return?

    Ptsd is my primary diagnosis, along with a laundry list of a few others. For the past decade my sex drive gradually disappeared. It has been completely gone for several years now and I am 50. Has anyone ever come back from this complete lack of sex drive back to intimacy? I’m wondering if I can...
  18. W

    Nightly panic/hyperventilation attacks

    Thank you for your support - I needed to hear that...he moved out and I feel safer...
  19. W

    Nightly panic/hyperventilation attacks

    You are fortunate that you can talk to your husbands about it. That says a lot about the strength of your relationships. When I stopped wanting to be intimate with my ex, I started finding lubricant everywhere around the house. I told him about my trauma but he flat out told me that since I...
  20. W

    Sleeping too much

    You are right @Deanna's Gap! I need to expand my horizons.... i am trying. It has been really hard to accept ptsd and let go of my old identity. I am still clinging to who I was or thought I was anyway. I am really struggling coming to terms with the reality of what I am and need, which is more...
  21. W

    Sleeping too much

    I’m starting to really see how my sleeping is stress-related. After losing my job, I just started applying to new jobs and every application literally takes the life out of me. Mostly I am worried that my ptsd symptoms will get in the way of me doing a good job, waking up on time, keeping it...
  22. W

    Sleeping too much

    Maybe that’s part of the challenge - to rearrange our lives so that they are livable. I am so sorry you lost your fiancée. My heart goes out to you @Deanna's Gap
  23. W

    Sleeping too much

    @Sideways routine is good advice. I also heard it in the program and from my therapist. I also agree that it’s good to keep an eye which coping skills are working for me. I learned this time that ptsd has “flareups” - I didn’t know that before. I’m definitely going through a flareup for the past...
  24. W

    Sleeping too much

    This is very helpful! I never thought of breaking it down like that. Stress, avoidance, depression seem to fit the bill for me. I feel like I am juggling so many things-job search, divorce (and everything that comes with that), groceries, paying bills, graduate course I am taking, and kids. Even...
  25. W

    tired... just tired....

    I am so sorry that you are going through this... and understand that feeling of exhaustion after being a fighter throughout life. I also understand that deep sadness that just wants it all to be over. As I write, I myself am trying to climb out of my feeling incapacitated by ptsd and various...
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