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You will! Especially if you hold on to that mental grit- that confident determination to prove on the outside what you already know somewhere inside. You are strong and can achieve your goals!

Yesterday I completed my first "Tough Mudder" mud run obstacle course. I went into it injured and nervous that I wasn't prepared well enough. I completed it, though! I did start to have a little freak out at one point- I fell behind my team and started to panic that I was being abandoned and...

For me it's usually like a small alien is inside my head trying to drill a hole through my skull to get out. It's always quite high up in my head, often right above my eye. Thanks for all your input. I think I'll discuss this possible connection at my next doctor's appointment.

I think my headaches and migraines may be linked to my anxiety levels. Not 100% certain but today was a bad headache day AND a bad anxiety day, which got me thinking over the last few bad headaches... Has anyone else found these to be linked in some way?

Yeah there are alternate spellings of one of my abusers' names, and my reaction only happens with the same spelling. As part of my job I have to type people's first names with their orders. It's just fast food so it really doesn't matter if I spell their name right or not. If they say the name...

Though I often feel like hiding away on an island, it's usually the result of frustration with not being able to ask for or find the help I want or need. I want to hide away on an island because then I won't be around people to whom I really wish I could explain what it's like to be inside my...

I do not at all like who I am right now... and I don't want to subject anyone else to the misfortune of having to be around me. And while I know (or at least hope) that at some point I'll get back to being me again, in the mean time this alternate me is making a mess of my life and my...

I finally felt ready to have a brief visit to my parents' house (less than 24 hours) and went there this month. But I brought a good friend with me and we had fun adventures planned for afterwards so that I would have those to look forward to beforehand and cheer me up (if need be) afterwards...

I have often wondered if my history has influenced my fascination with tattoos. I have 4 right now and may get more depending on dollars and what speaks to my soul. I am really big on each tattoo being deeply meaningful- so far all 4 have deep spiritual connections for me. I want to take hold of...

I left a social gathering early because I was getting too twitchy. I let go of the feelings of obligation to stay. I am home trying to ignore the big thunderstorm by enjoying a green smoothie and some Hell's Kitchen.

So, this is embarrassing, but I've got to ask. Has anyone else had bladder issues after being raped? I tried doing some internet research and there are a few studies that suggest a link, but I'm not sure how accurate the studies are. So I'd rather ask other people who are walking this same...

I practiced playing the ukulele- my new hobby. : )

I finally asked my boss if I could switch to 4 longer days of work instead of five days. I was fairly open with him about feeling like I'm getting more mentally unstable and that I need to change something about my work situation but I really don't want it to be changing jobs. I really like my...

I figured out the "yelling creates more barking" thing pretty quickly. It's like swatting at a child and telling them not to hit. I definitely give him praise and treats when he doesn't bark at the mailman, the guy who wants to mow our lawn for $5, or any of my roommates coming home.

Thanks for the ideas @NovemberStar , I may try blocking the window he likes to bark out of and will give him a rawhide before the mailman comes. I have taken him running with me before- he's actually really quick! I should probably ask his "mom" what she'd like me to do, since it's not my dog...

Awesome! And if it's the bridge I'm thinking of, triple awesome!

My roommate has a little 8 pound dog half the week. (Her and our friend "share" it.) Sometimes I don't mind the company. Sometimes it is soothing to pet or play with the dog. He is very good natured, affectionate, and can be downright snuggly at times. He's helped keep me grounded and been a...

Love. The real, deep, selfless, kind.

Agreed. I was afraid the exam would trigger me into a panic or flashback, but my doctor was very gentle and explained everything she was doing. She told me she would stop at any time if I got uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Honestly I pretty much just dissociated for most of the pelvic exam. But...

Silent. I wish she hadn't just ignored everything that was going on.

Yes! El Capitan in Pan's Labyrinth reminds me of one of my abusers and I had a weird fascination with watching it for a whole because, well, not to ruin it if you haven't seen it, but it gave me a sense of justice where my own life hasn't really seen any.

I am very glad to be on vacation with a friend today... it was a good distraction from all of the usual thoughts and feelings that usually occur to me on this day each year. It's usually a nightmare, though. Hope tomorrow is a brand new day full of recovery and good thoughts for you.

Update on this! We're a couple days in to the fun vacation part of the trip and I am very glad to say that the visit to my hometown was the least scary, painful, or intense it has ever been! Having my friend there helped SO MUCH! So did having this trip to look forward to and plan out! No new...

I am headed back home this week for the first time in a year and a half (I recently posted about it!) I feel ready to go back with the conditions I've put in place- it's only for one day, my friend is coming, and we have a fun trip planned for afterwards. I'm still anxious but it's a bearable...

Homemade cheesy hash browns and eggs. I have this about 5-6 times a week, actually! Every now and then I'll do pancakes or French toast as well. Tea! All kinds! And coffee. Panera Mac and Cheese Garlic bread Super dark chocolate Key lime Greek yogurt