Honestly, it doesn't sound like you are ready for it. .
I need to give some background, I have been married to my husband since 1981, I met my husband while he was going to his a school for strategic weapons trident. We married upon his graduation from C school. After he reported to his command I only talked to him once for 15 minutes over the next 3 and1/2 years, He was either on patrol or away going to another school. I was diagnosed as a bi polar two years into our marriage and sent to his hometown to live with his parents.
His final refit he just arrived back from west coast assignment, to this day I don't know what he did or even if he was on the west coast, He wont talk about it, He just says classified. But when he returned for his last refit he was placed on ships Maintenance. Nuclear weapons security, And stood his and his chiefs watch for 106 hours straight, He was diagnosed then as a paranoid. When he returned home I was told that my father in law would handle things with my husband I was asked to be the control on my husband. Many people did not want him using his accumulated senoraty at his civilian job to get shifts, jobs, vacations and holidays. So the first two blows landed in close succession after his discharge. first was his father screamed him into going back to work the first day back. He had not had a leave in 3 and a half years, the second blow came when he tried to bump from second to first and I made the promise if he could prove he could compromise and not press his rights we would be as we should be in a marriage three weeks after that the state forced a guardianship on him for me. Because of the way things worked in this area if my husband tried to do anything to enhance his work life somebody would run to his father for intervention and there were some bad fights, It was never physical but drew several sheriffs visits which resulted in my husband backing down. this continued for 16 years until July 31 2001. People were commenting on his strange behavior, He suffered bad headaches, He was always crying rivers. He kept falling down And he would just freeze in place, on july 31 he was hit in the head by a thrown wrench and was holding the man a foot of the floor by the throat. He then threw up all over his foreman and passed out. That was the forth major blow they had to drill a hole to the center of his head from over his right eye to remove a tumor causing hydrocephalus. The next two months was the real change in personality he decided there was no longer any compromise for anything. He decided he was taking a new job over the objections of his father and the local union He took it to the national union.
Then when they tried to get him to change his mind he told the four men on our porch no, Then insulted them. When they jumped him he destroyed them, The man that was supposed to get the job was the son of a county commissioner He was hurt the worst with both eye sockets shattered, Things became so bad between him and his father his father would actually put a shotgun in his back and force him in on holidays.
Then he retired with 31 years and developed MRSA in his spine four years ago leaving him without feeling in his legs and constant pain from the spine fuse. He has been mostly in hospitals and stress centers since once after he found me in an affair. That was last year.
Then this memorial day came. It was the first holiday he was not working or in a hospital since 1978, We had developed traditions over the time from 1985 that could not accommodate a cripple, It was my turn to have the get together at our house, When my father in law, showed up I knew things were going to be bad He told my husband he had to leave, even offered money to get him to leave until he was called home. My husband just about shoved it down his throat. But he stayed. Then the party was wrapping up his father had made reservations at a club for after dinner and told my husband he was not invited and my escort stepped forward and so did my husband who said he was going to need a ride to the ER if he did not scram.
This man is a very good friend to his fathers but he left in a hurry and my husband told his father that he was one short now. His father said I am tired of your stinking lip for one day and slapped his son, He returned with a round house backhand, His father went 30 feet down the kitchen on his rear. My husband grabbed him by his collar and picked him up one handed, and was screaming the next time you even think of interfering in my marriage or my life I wont be so gentile. He took the reservation and everyone left. He was place in the stress center Friday after finding out his father wanted me to give him seven or eight tarazidon tablets so him and his friends could strand him thirty miles away. My husband told them he would not take anything or drink anything unless he prepared it, I was not going to do it but my husband does not trust at all now. He said the first person laying his hands on him to remove him from his home was going to die on the spot every one knows he can do this. The Doctor says we abused my husband since 1985 and they are releasing him tomorrow, They are assigning a family social services officer to check on my husband and his care and location. They have also verified he suffers from PTSD. I know there is a war coming on the fourth I am being counted on again but I am fearful. My husband still wont back down and neither will his father. I tried to cancel the whole mess.
What can I do now?
