Body Piercings

[Kas_Can_Fly]

When ever I've found people with higher numbers of body piercings or other body modifications, I've found out very often they have suffered abuse and often during their childhood. I've heard reasons far ranging for example; Piercings were a way for me to take ownership back over my body, every time I got another piercing I felt like I was closer to being who I really am, I've always felt different from everyone and this was a way to express my individuality, I find that piercings work as a quick way to discourage asses from trying to get to know me. Other people haven't specified a reason but there is just that link.

For me, I have 7 piercings, with 2 more to be done imminently and will be getting several more in the not too distant future - I like the look and I find all alternative fashions including piercings a great people deterrent - I don't mean all people (though that can a problem), mostly just the ones who would reject you or even become abusive as a person because of something as small as a piercing or wearing predominantly dark clothing. For me, let's face it, if they can't accept that how are they going to cope with my inability to cope with nearly all social situations, heavy scarring and obvious mental health problems? I don't think that I get them because of my abusive childhood - although it may play a part in being able to rebel finally (though not really) and also a little bit of wearing my damage on my sleeve - whether that's good or bad, I don't really care!

What I want to know is if any of you have piercings (or other body modifications), has your personal history affected your reasons for these piercings or had you not noticed it and has anyone else drawn this correlation. Thanks

 

[y5L]

I have often wondered if my history has influenced my fascination with tattoos. I have 4 right now and may get more depending on dollars and what speaks to my soul. I am really big on each tattoo being deeply meaningful- so far all 4 have deep spiritual connections for me. I want to take hold of these beliefs and commitments so deeply that they are written on my heart... and on my skin.

But there are lots of other ways to learn lessons that don't involve changing my body. I do also see it as taking my body back. It took me over a year to hang up decorations in my bedroom in the house I live in now (a safe, loving place). I finally, one day, committed to stay. To make it home. It took 24ish years for me to start claiming my body as my own. I'm making it my earthly home.

 

[littlelostchild]

I have considered piercings, but just got a tattoo a few months ago. It is symbolic of my struggle and determination to survive. It is more about reminding me about where I am going than influencing anyone else (it is hidden by my clothes), but it is tremendously important to me. I would never have considered a tattoo except to represent my survival.

 

[Meadowsweet]

It may be controversial, but I sometimes see them as a form of self harm that people are accepting. It doesn't keep people away, it makes people look. That it is wearing your pain for people to see, I can understand. But for me personally, I feel like the person is lost beneath some outer show. It's not just piercings, I feel the same way about fake tanned, heavily made up, hair dyed, plastic surgery people.

I do like piercings, tattoos etc. But somehow, there is a line when it looks like self-destruction, more-so than a positive statement.

 

[marylouise]

I think people's reasons to get - or not get - tattoos and piercings probably vary amongst trauma survivors as much as for everybody else. At one point, I spent a lot of time around people who had tattoos and piercings, such that it was unusual that I didn't have any. I've always felt that my body suffered through so much pain when I was younger that I would never want to voluntarily put it through the painful experience of being tattooed or pierced as an adult. I actually have a visceral reaction to the idea of needles going into my body that feels self-protective to me.

 

[silkleaves]

I have two tattoos...one is a reflection of my relationship with my daughter, and the other is a reflection of me..well, a part of me that I know exists, a reminder that that person is still lurking around in here somewhere.

I could not get anything to signify my traumas, because for me, it would just remind me of my traumas / history of what made me who I am today, not of the person I am regardless of what I've been through...and that is what I want to focus on, the parts of me that are beautiful, not the parts of my life that damaged me.

There is a scar that I have from when I harmed myself, in a pretty obvious spot......depending on my mindset, I will either look at it and go, I really made it far from those days, and other times will look at it and go...is my life really any better now than it was when this happened? And when people catch sight of it and go "OMG what happened to your arm?!!!" then I feel nothing at all but shame.

Totally different from choosing to get a tattoo of course, but there are people who consider scars "battle scars" and proud of how far they have come, just as many many people get survivor tattoos... its a pretty common thing to do, just that with the way my brain works, instead of being an inspiration, it would be a reminder. And goodness knows, I do a good enough job reminding myself. And goodness knows, I don't feel like I've survived...I'm still dealing with this every day. That's a good part of my problem...!!!

 

[desiderata310]

I have one that is symbolic of something that has been a lifesaver for me.
I have plans on getting one similar to my avatar.

I've wanted tattoos all my life because I find that they can be beautiful and meaningful. My ex's, my family, all looked down on people with tattoos as having something wrong with them: they are deficient morally. So, when I got away from my abusers and really had time to think about what I wanted and where I got my first. It's my body. I don't much care what others think about my choice.

For me personally, tattoos are NOTHING like SH. Self harm is a very private thing I do to alleviate pain. Going to a tattoo parlor required about 5 visits to get up the nerve to even TALK to the artist about doing the tattoo and a good bit a angst going through it- NOTHING like self harm.

 

[silkleaves]

Going to a tattoo parlor required about 5 visits to get up the nerve to even TALK to the artist about doing the tattoo and a good bit a angst going through it- NOTHING like self harm.

Please don't misunderstand me as saying they are the same thing... Just that for me personally, I have both a massive scar and tattoos...equally visible to myself and others. So I'm just coming from a place of my own personal thoughts when I see the visual representation of what I've been through vs my personal reasons for getting tattoos.

But yeah, like you it took me *forever* to finally get my first tattoo! I went into the shop nearly every day after work for about 2 weeks, and finally the guy was like... I'll tell you what, next time you come in here, you better be ready to get that tattoo, or I'm going to just strap you down and give you one. It's killing me seeing you come here nearly every day and walk back out with nothing lol

And I made my appointment right then and there, I'm glad he kicked me in the butt and got me on my way, because I cannot imagine my body without either of my tattoos. They mean the world to me.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I do understand what is being said about piercings being related to self-harmed and have seen many cases where people have more metal than skin. In my case however I respectfully disagree, so far I have only pierced my ears and will end up with a total of 9 piercings on my ears, 4 lobe piercings and 5 helix's, I want my lip pierced twice and possibly a few others but nothing too extreme or unusual. I also have one tattoo - I got it when I was 16, to mark the first point in my life where I felt truly happy and free even though I wasn't entirely, I felt it and I was free from the worst of my abuse.

My ex was possibly tattooing himself to the point of self harm and got them done for fun all the time with no thought behind them. He would volunteer his skin as a canvas for friends who were learning the trade, thankfully usually they were tasteful enough. This did die down after a while which I'm glad about for him, though he does still get them occasionally, I think this was a maturity issue as much as stress related for him.

For myself, I still stick by the people barrier. My arms are scared deeply all over and will always be very visible if not covered well (some show through my jumpers due to the heavy bumping of the scar tissue) from wrist to past my shoulders and to some people that is offensive (even though I'm usually covered up), I'm sure those people who would be horrible to someone with piercings would be horrible to me for having those scars - I don't want to know those people anyway so that doesn't bother me. In fact I'd rather they insulted me for having piercings that get to know them and them turn against me/use me/be horrible/manipulative, I've had enough of that for sure.

I suppose what I actually meant was less about the reasons and more about what I'm beginning to see as a pattern between people who've been abused and piercings/piercings (though possibly more broadly, alternative subcultures), although I am curious about the reasons as well. Maybe this however links back to the self-harm idea and maybe more people get pierced/tattooed because they are damaged which I suppose answers my question a little.

I also always like hearing personal stories of people here and their experiences so please keep sharing, it's fascinating :)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I had piercings but I got tired of them coming out so I had them removed. I have a few tattoos that are very meaningful for me. I do not think it is about self harm as I have never done that. It is just something I did as part of my journey in life and my clothes do not cover them. So many people have tattoos nowadays. I just think of it as body art. I enjoyed the piercings while I had them but feel so much better now without them.

I got all of my tattoos and piercings when I was mid life. My husband did it too. I have a tattoo for my son who died and my husband who died as a memorial.

 

[Spiderallis]

Maybe people with heavily embellished bodies are just more comfortable talking about the difficult parts of their past. I don't think it's a direct correlation, seems more like it's a combination of personality traits.

That said, post-trauma I've pierced my belly button and stretched my ears to 6 gauge plugs. I never got into self injury, but I've always loved tattoos and piercings. I've also got two tattoos, in places I can show off when I choose to.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I don't really have piercings other than my ears. Both of my ears are double pierced and one of them my cartilage is double pierced. I do have some tattoos and I have at least 2 maybe 3 more that I want. For me my cartilage being double pierced is just an expression. I like the way it looks. I often think about getting the cartilage on my other ear pierced at least once too.

The tattoos that I have and the ones that I want are symbolic. One of them that I already have has multiple meanings. One of the meanings is for someone who is consistently there for me always and is very important to me. It also represents freedom. Freedom from the adversities I've experienced and the freedom to take my own life back. The other tattoos that I want are also symbolic of some pretty deep things for me. I don't get or want tattoos for any kind of self harm. I've done enough of that through cutting. That's something that to me feels different and is for a different reason. It's something I wrestle with often.