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Hello @kmatel710 How in earth did your dog survive that dose?!? I had an epileptic Labrador that was on phenobarb. I am sorry you are struggling with down mode. Is there anything I can do to help?

I got triggered while cleaning the dog kennels today. I was squeegeeing the first kennel when one of the volunteers started tapping on the window trying to get the attention of the dog next door. My stomach lurched, my muscles tensed, the pains I had been feeling all morning flared, my heart...

I keep trying to write about something but stopping myself, even in private I am struggling to face it. I can think about it but even then I find myself avoiding it. It is linked in to the attack but it is also from before it. See I talk around it all the time even though it has been in my mind...

I went to bed early last night, turns out it was a good idea. I had a nightmare around 2am, when I woke up I could hear myself begging them to leave me alone even though I was no longer fighting. I wish the feelings of shame that go with that memory would go away, deep down I know they don't...

Not a very good morning. 2 hours lost to flashbacks. The only high point was seeing my friend, she brought me back for an hour or so. She also gave me a beanie rabbit. Towards the end of our conversation though I was really beginning to struggle, I could already feel the sensations, the pressure...

I'm beginning to realise the cost of being honest about what happened. Every time I tell someone everything is so difficult for a few a days after. I kept myself grounded while my Dad was here but he has left to go and take my Grandma to church and now I am alone in my head. Every noise...

Totally wired, struggling to stay grounded. I have pulled out my rubiks cubes because my Dad is used to me doing these while talking to him. I'm hoping they hold me here. I cannot have a flashback in front of him.

I thought I would resurrect this thread to tell you all I have told my Dad today. He is shocked but seems ok. I feel much better for doing so. Thank you all for your advice.

I have told my Dad. He has taken it well. He is obviously concerned but seems to understand. We are continuing as normal becaue I have asked for normality. I love my Dad (not sure if I said that already!).

@Hope4Now I find stress balls really good as well! We have a squishy sheep and cow at work and it really helps if I am struggling in the staff room to just dig my nails in. I don't tend to grip myself when I am struggling but I do cling on the my shirt sleeve so hard I get finger cramp...

Not a bad start to the day. I worked the morning routine by myself as my colleague was off dropping a dog at the vet for an operation. That was really nice, just having myself to think about. I am still getting pressure in my wrist which is causing my hand to shake but nothing other than that...

Thank you @Hope4Now I do not mind people repeating things because sometimes they go in one ear and out the other. I generally have an idea of when they are about to happen and like you I normally run and hide myself away but just lately I have had one or two that have just taken over. I have...

Thank you @Meadowsweet @Suzetig It has made a real difference to how I feel. @Hope4Now I am a bit set in my opinions of people and once I have made it it is very hard to change but my manager has succeeded. I am sorry you are struggling with flashbacks. Mine just keep coming, one after the...

Strange evening tonight. Spent all afternoon fending off a flashback, managed to ground myself (with the help of a friend and Pinkman) until I sat down at home then it hit. For me it classes as a short one, approximately 20 minutes I think. Ever since then though I keep feeling dizzy, like when...

Still trying to find calm from this morning. The littlest of things sends my brain wandering. I don't know if this is fall out from yesterday or if this is me going in to a downward spiral. I am losing control, I don't want to go back there but every time I stop it pushes and pushes. Maybe I am...

Triggered. I'm beginning to realise that the bird aviaries are a real problem for me. I know why, it's being locked in a small space I can't stand, it makes me feel trapped and I can't cope with it. I used to just push through and do them but now I find myself avoiding them. This morning I...

I got stuck last night. Flashback after flashback after flashback, each one triggering another with just enough time in between to realise what is happening but not enough time to stop it. Looking at when I last posted here and when I finally heard and answered my friends frantic messages I was...

Pushing pushing pushing, too tired to fight it.

@silkleaves Thank you, I think it would have gone differently if the head of HR was present but it was just me and my manager, we have worked together for five years and always got on really well. She genuinely cares about me and I had forgotten that by lumping her in with people I didn't trust...

My new friend.

The meeting went a completely different way to what I was expecting. My manager is so supportive when taken away from the head of HR. She told me prior to talking in depth that what we were discussing was completely confidential and would not go any further. We discussed why the flashback...

I didn't do a morning post today. I wasn't in the right mind for it. Today was a very hard, very draining day. I still ache from yesterday's flashbacks and didn't have a very good nights sleep. I went down to work early so I could do something towards the animal care before meeting with my...

@JBS thank you for the advice. I am in the Uk but I appreciate the technical side of things to. I do my best to keep my issues and my work separate. I currently have the option of going home (I live where I work) which is something I have done several times when I knew I was starting to struggle...

I get told off for trivialising what is happening because my way of dealing with it is to make jokes and laugh. I laugh a lot but I can't remember the last time I truly meant it. I think it does release pent up stress though.

I look older than my age. I am the youngest staff member where I work but no one would believe it. I am 25 this year.