Telling Family.

[Deleted member 12723]

I have a crazy making family and when I first started therapy, no one believed me. Later on one sister got into therapy and quit and does not work on her issues she is a victim of her own rages.

I am glad you have such a good parent. I would tell him if I were you. Secrets are not good to have with the people you love. Please do not try to protect him. He will feel worse if you do. He probably already knows something is wrong but you not telling him shuts him out of your life.

This is a good way to get closer to your dad.

I was a care giver twenty four seven with my husband for three years alone on my own. I did not know she was in a very abusive relationship. By the time he finally beat her she showed up at my house with the kids and I told her to go to the police. Very good things happened because she finally broke her silence. She thought she was protecting me. I regret that very much for I could have helped get out of that situation.

Please do not try to protect your dad from the truth.

My daughter has promised me that she would not protect me from an ugly truth ever again and now we are closer than ever.

My husband died almost a year ago and I now live with my daughter and my two granddaughters. Tell him before it is too late.

 

[Anrish]

I told my parents and my sister two years ago. One of my two grandmothers also knows but she doesn't understand. She doesn't talk about stuff like this and remains silent.

My sister knows but she doesn't care.

My father knows but he has problems to talk about feelings...and he's a simple-minded, good natured person. He prefers harmony and so I try not to talk about this topic with him - he's feeling uneasy and so do I.

My mother cares but she doesn't understand. That's what makes it really hard for me. My mother can be quite dominating and straightforward. It's one of the aspects I like of her...but sometimes it's making things harder between us because I can't handle her.

I think my family feels helpless and overchallenged. My parents have their own little company they have to keep on running...and it's always first priority. So, they often are too tired to have a serious talk. When I have bad times, my mother just says that I shall go and see my therapist...I'm not lucky about it. I feel pushed away. I also tried to explain them the meaning of control (my sister and I had lots of arguments in the past because I was so structured and controlled and she was...lazy and spontaneous) but they didn't even listen. I wrote texts about how I feel because I'm better in expressing my feelings in written form...no one of them ever read it after I handed it to them. So, I gave up on this matter...

@Wyakin: I think your dad is a great person. And I would tell him. If he cares for you so much I'm sure that he might want to know - and maybe you'll be able to become closer to each other through this.

 

[Wyakin]

I keep swinging back and forth on this. A huge part of me wants to take all your advice and tell him but another part of me is too afraid. I have no idea how I would even bring it up! Every time I settle myself on telling him I find an excuse.

 

[Wyakin]

I thought I would resurrect this thread to tell you all I have told my Dad today. He is shocked but seems ok. I feel much better for doing so. Thank you all for your advice.

 

[silkleaves]

That is great to hear that you were able to tell your dad. He does sound loving and it seems like its a load off to be able to let him know, and now he can be fully supportive.

 

[Anrish]

Congratulations for telling your dad. It wasn't easy for sure and took a lot courage. But now, you two can move on...congrats once more. :tup: