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@Changeling There is a wonderful movie called "the story of the crying camel" and it just popped into my mind reading your post. It is a very sad and moving story, and the baby camel cried in that movie. It seems animals understand though, as one of my rabbits dedicated himself to lick away my...

I have rabbits too, and their presence alone is extremely helpful to me.

Maybe you could find some small lights that work on batteries? Not a flash light, but something that you could attach to the wall.

This is how I see being alone too, as temporary. It is also the law of attraction, as when we are not doing well we do not exactly shine brightly and attract others and vice versa. I see it as keeping the trust in that it will be different as long as I make progress to feel better inside.

Yes this. I am hardly on any social media, but when I am I feel sick to the gut that for those folks life goes on and mine is on hold entirely for years now. Not because of what the world thinks of me, but because how frustrated I am. BTW I never understood FB in any case, as when you have a...

Thank you very much for sharing this website :-) Her voice is very compassionate and kind in these meditations.

I do agree with @Nikie in that cleaning itself is not a very rewarding thing to do, at least not on the long term. It is not doing something for yourself that you really like. Maybe the frustration of this spiritually empty cleaning work led to your negative emotions about yourself or why you...

@Saelben & @Changeling I wonder if you have a feeling of relief or healing or not after crying?

Thank you for this thread @Saelben, I find it very compassionate. I am sorry you have been crying a lot too. @SheilaKathy I hope you are in good hands now, take care so much. I find crying extremely healing and a necessity. The last half year I have cried almost every day big time and it was...

I am really sorry to read your story. I was thinking that since you have such a negative experience with EMDR therapy, there are other type of therapies available for complex ptsd. It could very well be that you are aware of that, but just wanted to mention it. My therapist, who is an...

Maybe this guide to the DSM-5 can help you. Dead Link Removed It contains criteria and symptoms for PTSD as CPTSD is not in the DSM-5. Or the description of CPTSD by Judith Herman, the famous author of Trauma and Recovery...

Hi Island Jim, Thank you for elaborating on gaslighting. However, the body remembers everything that has threatened your survival no matter what. Your cognitive and limbic -emotional- brain have no control over your reptilian -survival- brain. Your body reacts to survival in a way that is...

It is true that there will be nobody to save you. If you are able to tell the world or not, only you can save you. I'd wish for you to give up hope of being saved, you can save yourself by perseverance and courage. I totally get your current state, and also your use of the word hope in that...

@JEKBreatheandBelieve Somatic experiencing; my body remembered. I have even remembered pre-natal stuff by bodily memory using SE. I absolutely never had any clue it had happened, totally sealed off, but since exposure it finally has lifted the survival burden.

@Junebug It is getting better, since I remembered the earliest and worst trauma -at few months old- and relived and processed the total helplessness during that trauma. By going through that helplessness and the fear of dying because of it, there is now room to be no longer helpless. It is a...

I think it may not be the right approach for you, or be too overwhelming to you. You should listen to yourself. I always want to go to therapy and not because it is fun, but because I feel there is a positive process going on that in the end will deliver results. I had the most horrible year in...

No you are not a hypocrite at all. It is not so easy to help ourselves, and the main reason we see a therapist. I hope you see a therapist to help you with this. It feels as if you are always one step behind in taking control over the things in your daily life, and you know it but can not change...

Please, do not think of yourself as a burden. Could it be that you are dissociated? Then you also do not feel a lot of emotion. Could you get help from a therapist? It is difficult to process trauma on your own.

Flashbacks can have different ways of manifesting themselves. I only have emotional flashbacks and those are reliving/re-experiencing an emotional situation from the past in the present. It does not need to manifest as in the movies where you flash back into time and remember painful things...

Basically in theory, he is correct. This is how you start off trauma therapy. The way it is delivered, I don't like. It feels to me that he is the one that has control issues, by saying "I could let the shutters fly open now". He should have explained much more about the mechanism/theory on a...

Thank you @FridayJones :-) Clipped the article to Evernote, and I think the terminal burrowing from the article is also quite interesting. @barefoot Yes I do the same in therapy, removing watch, shoes, anything that constricts me. Dissociation, freeze, tonic immobility all related to...

Yes, @FridayJones knows about this. I also don't remember exactly, apart from that it is described somewhere and that it is well-known. Vague ;-) Friday please?

Welcome. I was thinking of this post from a new member, when reading your post: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/life-isnt-much-worth-living-anymore.58333/. Maybe someone you can relate to. Take care.

I don't like the phone call at all. Especially in trauma therapy it is very important that it is a fair relationship, and you have every right to ask the type of questions you have. A treatment plan and timeline is not per definition something you can or need to have. With complex trauma it may...

Ok good you contacted your psychiatrist. I think that it is a great idea to start a thread, maybe ask for some Irish input, as every country has their different healthcare system. There are threads in general you could search for on finding a trauma therapist and what to look for. Some people...