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Belief in a higher power was a fundamental part of the system that encouraged and protected my traumatizers. Belief in a higher power is what allowed the abusers to harm dozens more people. If belief in a higher power hadn't protected them, they would have been stopped long before they got to...

I don't know if this option is open for you, but I think after getting your therapist's sign-off, maybe it would help to discuss this with your husband. Not just about the yelling, but also about how he can help you in the future if your get triggered again. Maybe you guys could come up with...

Hi KVal, First, I want to say thank you for caring. Not sure why this thread meandered off topic so much, but many of us do tend to have some trust issues. :) One of the tough things for a supporter to deal with regarding PTSD is how differently symptoms manifest themselves for each...

Ya' know, this shaking thing really does seem to work. . .except now everybody is looking at me funny. Probably shouldn't be doing it in the middle of the grocery store. :)

Thank you for this thread, Don't Trip. It really hit home for me. My traumas began sometime between ages 3-5 so PTSD is the only thing I've ever known. When my symptoms are well managed, I like to work on figuring out who I could have been. . .try to figure out what things I like to do...

I also get that sort of 'wise beyond my years' comment from time to time. . .although, for some reason, not when I'm triggered and acting out. :);) I think part of it is that some of us with PTSD have seen and/or experienced things that have forced us to look at life from a different...

I was abused by my father and I recognize in myself a lot of the things you mentioned about your fiancee. The results of the study do match my own experience. What were the feelings? That is a hard one. I don't have much memory of my childhood. My wife actually has more memories of my...

I identify with what you wrote. That is pretty much how I feel when I go out to meet a friend or something. I wish us both a little extra peace next time we try. :)

At the base level, it feels like a growing and growing pressure, I'm responsible for everything. Every time someone speaks to me, it feels like a stinging punch in the middle of my head. . .and then the pressure grows some more. My head starts to review mistakes I've made, over and over again...

Thanks for this thread. I never thought of SI as active/passive before, but maybe I do have some continuing passive style SI. When my therapist has asked about SI, I have generally said that I wasn't because I have no 'active' plans or thoughts to do harm. Meanwhile, I would drive really...

. . .when you sleep on the couch for a few days each week because you're afraid you might hit your spouse during a nightmare.

The wikipedia entry has a decent overview of what suicide ideation is. . . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideation

I started this thread about 3 months ago and thought I would report that things have gotten better. It's still a struggle. . .but only about half the struggle it used to be. :)

I love phones.

I've never heard this term before, but I love it.

On Thursday afternoon. . ."Hey, I'm coming up to stay the weekend and bringing a couple people who you haven't talked to in a decade, too."

If I can, let me ask a few questions. Are you in a place where it would be healthy for you to deal with what could result in a situation that contains mild conflict? Are you in a place where you could sit with yourself and try to visualize ways the discussion could go, including ways where...

Thanks for this description, ericaboo. When I am dealing with other people, that is exactly what I do, too. Side note: Like your tag says. . .you are indeed a bad ass. Thank you for hanging out with us on the forum.

Thanks all for the replies. I do have a good t and we do discuss the work vs. health thing. We have the beginnings of a long term plan to move away from this job and find something that I could do to generate income that would be less challenging health-wise. But, that is long-term. I...

IMO, a very simplified explanation about how Americans currently run elections. As a disclaimer, if I had to label myself, I would call myself a Practical Progressive (feel free to make oxymoron jokes.) :) In an ideal election, I would take the time to find actual data, listen to all sides of...

Any way for me to find out more information about the group, how often it meets, focus on vets or everyone, etc? I'm in Portland and may be interested in participating

Not sure why I am posting this. . .maybe looking for advice. Unfortunately, work is not a healthy place for me for the last year or so. Everyone at work has been as supportive as can reasonably be expected, but I am pretty much symptomatic all the time, requiring Xanax to make it through most...

Yep. I'm pretty much responsible for everything that goes badly around me. . .pretty sure that world hunger is my fault. (and I'm not really exaggerating that much.) :) When things go well, but not absolutely perfectly, I should have done something to make it better.

John Keating: Close your eyes, close your eyes! Close 'em! Now, describe what you see. Todd Anderson: Uh, I-I close my eyes. John Keating: Yes. Todd Anderson: Uh, and this image floats beside me. John Keating: A sweaty-toothed madman. Todd Anderson: A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that...

. . .when someone mentions 'roller coaster' and your first thought isn't of an amusement park.