Flashback? I'm Confused

[Crstlsndvl]

My son was screaming and wouldn't sleep and my husband went into his room and sternly told him to go to sleep. For some reason I thought he was hitting him ( which is ridiculous) and I snapped and ran in there screaming "why did you hit him". I was pretty sure a neighbor was going to call the cops and I scared the hell out of my 2 year old. I have moments like this often that set me off. It almost always involves my husband angry at something or raising his voice. It's never directed at me and I have no reason to be afraid of him though.

 

[intothelight]

Is a raised male voice a trigger? Were you hit or someone close to you by a man? Were you abused or someone close to you who was a small child?

There are many reasons for a flashback to be triggered. I just jotted down a few questions and these are things that you have to ask yourself. Therapy is a good place to sort these out, but if therapy is not an option, identifying the trigger can be done on your own. Its important to know what causes the flashback so you can learn to overcome the response. CBT, exposure therapy, elimination, etc. are some options.

 

[twopenny]

It could very easily be that something about the situation was a trigger.

I realised the other day that a situation - just a certain order of events - that occurred between me and hub was a trigger for me, because it followed a pattern that my mother used to set up to make me feel worthless.

It's bizarre some of the things that can provoke reactions.

 

[Crstlsndvl]

Yeah, raised voices could be a trigger. I had a lot of abusive baby sitters and family members and my dad is an alcoholic. Honestly, I don't remember much. All I have to go off are these weird episodes. I completely snapped and lost myself and almost hit my poor husband. I was really freaked out afterwards. My whole body was sore.

I mean, I guess I do remember certain things. I just don't like to think about it. I witnessed a lot of abuse to my cousins and my brother. I'm not sure if I was ever hit but I was screamed at a lot. I don't trust men period because I was sexually abused at a really young age. I'm in therapy. I just don't understand how to get through these. I don't like to flip out in front of my kids. This is the 3rd time something like this has happened.

 

[Zef]

I don't know if this option is open for you, but I think after getting your therapist's sign-off, maybe it would help to discuss this with your husband. Not just about the yelling, but also about how he can help you in the future if your get triggered again. Maybe you guys could come up with some safe word system or have him help you change rooms so your children aren't observing, whatever thing you guys could come up with that would help in the situation.

I've found that just the act of having these discussions with my wife and knowing that we have a safety plan in place reduces my over all anxiety level and resulted in fewer freak outs for both of us.