Search results

Yeah, "I don't know, I'm having a PTSD moment" would be much more helpful, my ex just gave me vague answers then stopped replying, all that did was leave me hurt, confused and very upset.

Hojay... let me ask you something. What do you want? That probably seems a strange answer, but it is a really important one. Do you really want a relationship with this person or do you want a relationship with the person you fell in love with? Again that may seem really strange, but again it...

Be open and honest about the reality of our relationship, be understanding that your uncertainty doesn't just confuse and upset you, but causes real, lasting damage to your partner/friends. It hurts to be rejected and just being told "it's not personal when it's PTSD" isn't really enough, a...

Much like Snowflakes, what concerns me is your motivation for dating. Not the part about wanting to feel attractive, to feel worthy of somebody's time, energy and attention, that makes perfect sense, but the idea that in investing in dating other people it may "wake him up." Firstly, it is...

Be understanding and be open to learning, that is the best advice I can offer. My ex became very triggered during sex a couple of times, shaking, frozen, other times not. We spoke, very calmly and at length about what to do when she did become triggered, for her it was stay with her, just don't...

I'd be very, very, very dubious of anything that shows up in the Daily Mail, they love to stir everything up and like all newspapers select scandalous sounding stories to sell, even if the likelihood of it ever happening in low.

I feel stupid waiting and hoping that me and my ExSO will reconcile and reforge the relationship we had. I am still finding it hard to believe 10+ years of love has just vanished in an instant, I feel stupid for holding on that she will reopen her feelings for me, I'm honestly more or less ready...

Yeah, that's my issue... I've worked hard to get to a point where I just let things be, let her make her choices etc, but she keeps asking me to be a friend for her for now and I just feel my duty, as a friend that she asks for, to make sure she is at least not in danger of further trauma as...

She still hasn't elaborated (nor will I force her to), I am a little worried she is determined to just get through all of this alone, it hurt emotionally before but I accepted that... now, because I fear she is in actual danger of further trauma I must admit my worry has returned, it's one thing...

It was vague, yes, sadly. She wouldn't call the police anyway I don't think, regardless, she doesn't trust them, but obviously if I can get her to explain a little more it may be wise to try and persuade her to leave her halls at university for her own long term safety. The vagueness is quite...

I've posted here a few times about my relationship, long story short, my SO/ExSO hit a PTSD spiral, things have been very strained since. At her uni halls somebody already tried to assault her, she then got into a friendship with what I can only describe as a narcissist. I acknowledge these...

I think that is the problem for a lot of supporters, overlooking things we'd never normally put up with, adding caveats, over stretching the bounds of context etc. My SO/ExSO called me out if I do stuff wrong, quite rightly, I can't use my OCD as an excuse for not trying to work on my issues.

Personally? That would be a boundary crossed for me, I may sound heartless but I aren't really willing to have my privacy invaded to satisfy their paranoid insecurities, I feel it only indulges and encourages their trust issues long term. I never have anything to hide because I'd never cheat on...

It can be exceptionally difficult and very hard to understand, I know I've struggled to understand why I am suddenly not wanted and the bad guy when she doesn't treat others the same way, in fact she defends them despite their behaviour being MUCH worse than anything I've done, it's all about...

Sounds a lot like the push and pull dynamic. My SO/ExSO does this a lot, pushes me away, wants to be left alone, wants to "just friends" etc, then on any other given day she is upset at a self-deprecating Facebook post about being alone with wine on valentines day, saying she feels she is...

I think the crux of the problem isn't that you do these activities, it's that she isn't in a place emotionally to be able to do them and gain enjoyment from them herself, so perhaps there's a little resentment that she has to watch you partake in her passions and deriving happiness from them...

It really depends on yourself. Only you truly know if you can forgive the things that have transpired between you two, I know with me and my SO/ExSO (who really knows!) there's things I can look past and move past fairly easily, but there are some sticking points that will require conversation...

You have to work healthily on your resentment and get it out of your system, but you can't necessarily do it with him, because he is the instigator of your feelings. I have a lot of resent for my "sufferer", I feel as though she disregards my feelings far too much to the point we can't really...

Absolutely, I gave her some wiggle room, at first, but now? It's coming up to three months of this now, still with no real discussion of our issues, what happened, how I am feeling etc. It's got to a point where I won't defend it now, I've been exceptionally patient and understanding, the odd...

Watch out for resentment Hojay, because I will be honest, I definitely resent my ExSO. It's not nice and it's not healthy, I want you to work through it BEFORE it messes things up.

I wish my conversations went like Fridays, mine feel more like. Hey, how you doing? I'm ok, you? I'm good, started working on my diet and my yoga, had some nice self care days :) Hmm. Seems like you're happy and don't need me, I knew you didn't care. *dumfounded confusion* Or a pleasant...

Happy to hear that Seeking, it's always nice to see some success stories amidst the worry and I am glad you're having some better times :)

Perhaps now you're finally coming down from the high alert all guns ready at the battlestation mode we often get into and it's just been too much and you are very burned out?

I agree with what others are saying, I am learning very quickly that PTSD is not some excuse or get out of jail free card when she decides to behave poorly or be abusive to me. Obviously you and me have spoken privately in more detail but for the purpose of the thread, my "sufferer" suddenly...

@boodle is spot on, we often see the person beneath the disorder, the one others do not see, it's why we put up with so much, because they've often built up a lot of credit with us.