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Thank you chant. I have been making use of the Journaling here and now that I am working past the blame game I play with my husband things are opening up more and more as I look for the root of the behaviour, it might just take time, ☺

Personally I have tried hypnosis and I can't say it helped. But then again I'm very protective spiritually. I don't like letting people in unless they have all thier shit together. And I haven't met a hypnotist that has. I spent the whole time thinking the woman needed to hypnotize herself...

So I have been working hard on this area and I believe I have struck on something. The abuser when I was young, the abuse started when I was approx 4 yrs old, would give me "homework" to do between abuse sessions, for example, he would leave porn videos out for me to watch and then practise...

I've been reading the book courage to heal, a woman's guide, I'm at the part of remembering and flashbacks. Remembering and flashbacks are something that we deal with on a sometimes daily basis, daily for me. Depending on the triggers. I'm am trying to get to the root of my self destructive...

That's a great idea, I tend to remove myself from the conversation for a toilet break, cigarette break etc just to change the environment for a few minutes.

I'm wondering perhaps if you had endless lectures as a child? I tend to disassociate during a long conversation, and I was thinking it had something to do with having family discussions.. which were mainly long-winded lecture on how I wasn't good enough. .

I probably shouldn't have but I watched Once were Warriors this morning again, It has so many triggers for me and I know it's pushing my limits, why I watched it though was to feel. When Gracie dies and becasue of why she died I cry, of course and it brings feelings up that aren't pleasant, But...

@scout86 you are absolutely right. It's a difficult spot for me and potentially dangerous. I feel the same as @carrieon with it would have been nice to have someone like that for me growing up. And I'd like to think if I have at all helped in anyway that is better than nothing, Good news is...

I have a girlfriend who has a mix family, 4 children in total, 2 her husband brought into the relationship, girl and boy, he has full custody of these children as the mother wants nothing to do with her children. 1 my girlfriend brought into the family and they have had 1 together. Today she...

Oh and recently I have started with magnesium supplement, I get the fizzy kind, that's been good for a reduction of migraines. And has a added benefit of clearing my skin up. I have noticed though I need to take it either everyday or every second day other wise it's on.the migraine I mean.

I have that problem too, I wake in the morning and it feels as though my head and neck and shoulders are just a ball of tension. I grind my teeth also , the severity depends on what kind of dreams I have, if they are really bad dreams I don't remember I just wake in pain and feeling like I have...

Sounds to me that you were just at breaking point with your partners rejection to your efforts. That's fair enough. It's difficult to manage all those emotions and responsibilities at the same time. Don't be too hard on yourself for melting down. It happens. As hard as it is. I do hope your...

I understand where your coming from too. The spiral of blame and shame and not knowing if this is normal or not. You do do what is right, right for you. It's how you've learnt to deal with things. It may be out dated and was probably more effective when you were y9unger but it doesn't work in...

I am a Habitual cheater. My husband if 17 yrs has been faithful all this time and has dealt with my issues with chivalry and morals. I have not. I have lied, cheated, betrayed and hurt my daughter and my husband Why can't I stop? I love him and I've blamed him for everything that goes wrong...

I always forget how old I am and it's frustrating having to count the years... lol I think it's because I don't feel my age. I don't feel like an adult Im too silly to be an adult

Oh boy, I sure want to have a freak fit right now. . I want to.... smash things, and yell and scream, cry and scream how unfair life can be sometimes. I want to but I can't. I just can't let those feelings and frustration out. I am lost in my head with nowhere to go, Its like a rapid with...

I never thought of it in that sense before. Thankyou Friday for the different perspective. :hug:

I get bothered by it too. My logic on it is people are willing to accept vet PTSD easier than non vet PTSD due to the actions that have caused it. Military is easy to understand and accept. People do Not want to be reminded that nasty things happen behind closed doors at home. But at least it's...

I need to take that on board. Thanks.

If only people would keep their nasty words to themselves. I'm sorry you had to witness that.

I'm glad that your kids need you that's what stops me every time I contemplate that out. But it doesn't help the influx of emotion that were experiencing. Breathe hun

Talk sweetie. Don't hold it in. What's on your mind ?

As hard as is it it would be better if your PT is informed of the basics that way they can accommodate you. After all its about you that your there for therapy. Just say I have ptsd and I'm uncomfortable with this procedure. But then its easy for me to say. I know as we all do here its so much...

Breathe. Your not alone, we're virtually there with you and for you. I have more I would like to say but I'm as anxious as you are today and my fingers aren't working Just know that I care and will be hoping the best for you. In the shortest way possible all I can say is if your family want...

Well done on coming out alive, your dreams sounds like they are trying to open you up to the emotional turmoil of life, water is an emotional element. From what you have said maybe your work on recovery is allowing you to experience these emotions without the overwhelming feeling of being lost...