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Hmmm.... I’ll have to think about that. Thank you for giving me another way to frame it.

Thank you. That’s part of the reason I wrote it down here. I don’t think it’s worth bringing up with her. I think it’s wiser for me to say what you said—she is human—and just let it go and lower my expectations. Heaven knows I forget things too.

Omg. This just happened to me last week. Ugh. I’m sorry! I made plans, cried too much, slept too much, took baths...and basically accomplished nothing. I tried to make sure the kids had some fun things to do and asked our babysitters for extra help. I feel like a mess. I see my therapist...

Thank you for posting that video! So helpful.

I forgot about this thread. Geez, I am so ridiculous. I have almost made it through a week and a half of no contact with my T. It has been awful. But I’m glad I did it. I have to break this dependency. I really just want to quit altogether. Not sure what the point is anymore. I realized that I...

I think about it a lot. Finding some of them would involve contact with other toxic or abusive people, though. I only have the full name of one and it took years for him to stop tracking me down...years before the internet. I look at his Facebook page and pictures of his family and throw up. I...

Ouch. I wish I had something to offer but want to witness and affirm that I agree with your current T...not the first one.

3 days is wonderful. I just celebrated one year. I fell off the wagon last fall after 19 years of sobriety. The PTSD got re-activated and I just gave up. For me, drinking is suicide. I often hide urges to self harm inside of my urges to drink. I also started drinking when I was 11 or 12. Working...

Recently, I’ve been receiving some feedback about how perfectly calm and collected I seem to “always be.” It’s been surprising and somewhat unnerving because I struggle so much with anxiety. Have you heard the analogy of the swimming duck? It looks cool on the surface but is paddling at...

I sometimes need help managing the timing and transitions too. When my therapist can tell I’m struggling, she will ask what I need to transition back to work. She will remind me to drink water there and stop to get something to eat on my way back. She’ll tell me that I’m welcome to sit and...

It was brave of you to try! Keep trying. Your voice and feelings and experience are important. Humans miss the mark. Could you write down your thoughts and read them to him next time?

I think you are brave and insightful. I love my therapist and I can’t yet imagine telling her. I’m thinking ahead to Christmas and knowing she wouldn’t approve of gifts or baking and it occurred to me I might just write her a thank you card. She saved my life and maybe she would appreciate a...

Hmm...good point. I don’t know. I speak Spanish and only use one phrase for people I love in all different ways. Te quiero. It literally translates as “I want you, which would indicate passionate love...but everyone I know uses it for non-sexual affection.

I am just barely, after 10 months of weekly trauma therapy with the same therapist, beginning to accept that my healing has to happen inside of a safe relationship. My nervous system is not logical and it doesn’t believe most relationships are truly safe. It tries to keep me safe from violence...

Well, now mine knows every horrible thing about me. It took me 10 months to tell her all of them. And now I guess the real work begins. Now I have to try to keep showing up and being open when all I want to do is ghost.

Thank you, Tex Cat. I finally did write it down in a trauma diary on here and have been a mess. I feel like I have little metal springs breaking and popping off of me. I wrote an email to my therapist telling her that I did finally write it down and that I was struggling. She didn't respond...

My therapist and I have talked about this, too. I got triggered at a specialist appointment and, as a result, could not let him examine me for a serious concern. My therapist thinks it would help me receive better care if I let all health care providers know I suffer from PTSD and need...

Witnessing with you. I feel like I could fall into my own grief and drown there. They say the only way out is through, but I stay on the edge of it because I am afraid.

I have lost friends after telling. I try to remind myself that I don't know what I don't know. But it still hurts. I'm sorry.

I'm amazed and inspired that you went back and talked to her! How wonderful to hear it went well.

I've read on here that it can be easier to replace one behavior with another rather than to try to stop doing it. Am I saying that right? Today, I tried taking a hot bath with a paper book (instead of my phone). That kept me away from it for an hour. Then I reached out to text some close...

I could have written this word for word. I don't have therapy until Thursday afternoon...and I've already emailed with her. She noted already (a couple sessions ago and in a nonshaming way) that the past 8 weeks have been quite tough for me and I have needed her between sessions. I feel like I'm...

Yes. Way too much for me, as well.

Do you think it's possible that some things are unspeakable? Or do they just feel that way. My whole body is tired from crying and truly trying to say it to my T. I said where and who...I said that it hurt and humiliated me. But I just can't say what it was. I don't even think I can write it down.

Thank you for your kind reply, NightSky. I have heard a lot about internal family systems but not read the book. Maybe I will check it out. Feeling overwhelmed with school reading...but not retaining much of that anyway. Struggling to concentrate. Self-compassion is so hard. It seems like the...