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Search results

  1. Starfire

    Dissociation Taking Over

    I can't stop it. It has to run it's course. But as I'm coming out of it is when I used to...still do ..have to do something. Usually harmful which is grounding. I'm trying that old hitting pillows thing or walking on my treadmill. These are new trys for me but attempting to put something safe...
  2. Starfire

    Rumination is an anxiety disorder, but not PTSD?

    Wow! Thought I was the only one who never locks my door. Noise in the neighborhood the other night resulted in me putting metal basket two feet from door so I would hear if someone came in. Couldn't do the logical thing and lock the door.
  3. Starfire

    I don't like when someone shouts at me.

    Agree. You are working at it, tho. You care about the people you interact with. Others just know screaming gets them what they want. They win the disagreement, scare others into backing down. dominate. It takes two to bring a reasonable resolution. Unfortunately, lot of unreasonable, got to win...
  4. Starfire

    I don't like when someone shouts at me.

    Would appreciate you posting anything you find that works very well for you. Feels like it's going to be a long road. I want it fixed now!!!!!
  5. Starfire

    I don't like when someone shouts at me.

    Thank you. Like the self scanning. Swear you were in my T session today! A slight twist. Was never allowed to be angry. Perhaps one reason react so to shouting. Sure PTSD is in there too. For some reason it's become acceptable to be angry at what happened to me. But never learned how to be...
  6. Starfire

    Do you close your eyes during dissociative episodes?

    Accent: Also a military brat and like your description of accent as *fluid*. That's perfect! I can recognize a change when I'm overly tired. Guess it happens as friends have comment at different times. I do have csa as well. My T says he can tell where etc the abuse occurred as my accent...
  7. Starfire

    Getting A Service Dog.

    Congratulations! He/she will be such a big help. Fingers crossed!
  8. Starfire

    I don't like when someone shouts at me.

    Have been dealing with this as well as anger and rage. What I've recently learned is I don't know how I will respond. Neighbor was having a shouting match in their back yard. I went into the house frightened and struggling not to dissociate. Man, rather large, was shouting at small woman about...
  9. Starfire

    Emotional Panic Attack.

    Twice this week had an emotional panic attack. No flashback pictures. Just all the feelings. Hate this.
  10. Starfire

    Getting A Service Dog.

    72 minutes of grilling. Anyone would be exhausted, anxious and developing a headache! Don't understand why you wouldn't be successful. You handled a grilling just fine. Don't know the job but seems you showed resilience, persistence, competence. So did K! Hope you get the job *you* want.
  11. Starfire

    Rage & Dissociation

    Thank you. Used to do the tears response. Never thought of this being the same. Don't know why the change. Somehow the tears seem more acceptable. Less scary to myself. More honest? Thanks now I know what's going on. Like it or not.
  12. Starfire

    Rage & Dissociation

    Calling it rage as it was intense. Never happened before so can't explain it. Suddenly and I mean suddenly, felt this intense anger, began hitting the door jam, and watching myself silently screaming. Shaking inside. Don't know what I was so scared about or upset about. Frightened it will happen...
  13. Starfire

    Getting A Service Dog.

    Hooray! Hope K likes the place too
  14. Starfire

    Getting A Service Dog.

    Sure K gives you a definite advantage! Got luck.
  15. Starfire

    I'm so forgetful I forgot...

    Having 4 of July party. Made comprehensive list so I was sure everyone's preferences would be covered. Organized the table accordingly and brought out lastly the potatoes salad, coleslaw, fruit salad. Made sure my two friends gluten free buns were isolated from dangerous wheat. Perfect party...
  16. Starfire

    Increasing internal communication

    We don't journal per se. We've put a notebook on our counter. When we have a question, we write it down, leave pen and wait for someone to answer. Sometimes days, sometimes minutes. Then one day we heard someone say we can't read that funny writing. When we checked the journal, a, b, c was...
  17. Starfire

    Dissociating, panic attacks, violent imagery 😢

    Wondering if you have a Therapist who would be willing to see you both together. I can't imagine I could sanely or semi sanely be around someone who was part of my abuse. As I ponder what you said about the plastic silverware, I don't know if I'd be more afraid of them or what I'd do. Hope you...
  18. Starfire

    Not sure- therapy relationship concerns (again)

    You did not make het offer reduced rate. Her decision. You did not make her squeeze you in. Her decision. Sounds like she was trying to make you responsible or guilty for her decisions.
  19. Starfire

    Getting A Service Dog.

    Ha, ha,! Some help is no help at all! My last CKCS was also a therapy dog. I called it *go to sleep*. She would wag her tail. I,'d say Ah and she'd stop. But soon I'd hear people giggling cuz her tail was going again! Love your tree planting story. Sounds hilarious. She's a smart puppy. Just...
  20. Starfire

    I don't like when someone shouts at me.

    I understand. I stop thinking. I stop understanding a word that is being said. I go straight to *me bad* need to be hiding, can't even think of escape. Your are not alone. Take care of yourself.
  21. Starfire

    I'm so exausted and suicidal

    That was so horrible. So scary. So sorry that happened. Hope you are feeling a little better now.
  22. Starfire

    Intrusive Suicidal Thoughts

    I make it difficult to get the tools for accomplishing that. Nothing easily close at hand. I don't get upset anymore when the thoughts come. Even agree with myself that that would easily solve a problem. Get out of the darkness. Made a list with things I have to do first. My T said if I really...
  23. Starfire

    Getting A Service Dog.

    What great ideas. The one we call Tdying Up! Your mess!! You reminded me that York won't even take a piece of food tossed to him. Being a KING doesn't take food thrown at him. It falls to the floor. Then he examines it. I also think I'm his royal food taster! So bouncing the ball is a perfect...
  24. Starfire

    Getting A Service Dog.

    Ha, ha. Glad to hear of a smaller dog in Service.
  25. Starfire

    If I've felt suicidal after every therapy session for the past 5-7 weeks, should I quit?

    IMHO you need to tell your T. He's there to help but he can't help if he doesn't know what's going on. It took me a longer time than I want to admit, to realize my T has heard it all before, helped people thru it before and had valuable knowledge I just might learn from. His suggestions were at...
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