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I can't stop it. It has to run it's course. But as I'm coming out of it is when I used to...still do ..have to do something. Usually harmful which is grounding. I'm trying that old hitting pillows thing or walking on my treadmill. These are new trys for me but attempting to put something safe...

Wow! Thought I was the only one who never locks my door. Noise in the neighborhood the other night resulted in me putting metal basket two feet from door so I would hear if someone came in. Couldn't do the logical thing and lock the door.

Agree. You are working at it, tho. You care about the people you interact with. Others just know screaming gets them what they want. They win the disagreement, scare others into backing down. dominate. It takes two to bring a reasonable resolution. Unfortunately, lot of unreasonable, got to win...

Would appreciate you posting anything you find that works very well for you. Feels like it's going to be a long road. I want it fixed now!!!!!

Thank you. Like the self scanning. Swear you were in my T session today! A slight twist. Was never allowed to be angry. Perhaps one reason react so to shouting. Sure PTSD is in there too. For some reason it's become acceptable to be angry at what happened to me. But never learned how to be...

Accent: Also a military brat and like your description of accent as *fluid*. That's perfect! I can recognize a change when I'm overly tired. Guess it happens as friends have comment at different times. I do have csa as well. My T says he can tell where etc the abuse occurred as my accent...

Congratulations! He/she will be such a big help. Fingers crossed!

Have been dealing with this as well as anger and rage. What I've recently learned is I don't know how I will respond. Neighbor was having a shouting match in their back yard. I went into the house frightened and struggling not to dissociate. Man, rather large, was shouting at small woman about...

Twice this week had an emotional panic attack. No flashback pictures. Just all the feelings. Hate this.

72 minutes of grilling. Anyone would be exhausted, anxious and developing a headache! Don't understand why you wouldn't be successful. You handled a grilling just fine. Don't know the job but seems you showed resilience, persistence, competence. So did K! Hope you get the job *you* want.

Thank you. Used to do the tears response. Never thought of this being the same. Don't know why the change. Somehow the tears seem more acceptable. Less scary to myself. More honest? Thanks now I know what's going on. Like it or not.

Calling it rage as it was intense. Never happened before so can't explain it. Suddenly and I mean suddenly, felt this intense anger, began hitting the door jam, and watching myself silently screaming. Shaking inside. Don't know what I was so scared about or upset about. Frightened it will happen...

Hooray! Hope K likes the place too

Sure K gives you a definite advantage! Got luck.

Having 4 of July party. Made comprehensive list so I was sure everyone's preferences would be covered. Organized the table accordingly and brought out lastly the potatoes salad, coleslaw, fruit salad. Made sure my two friends gluten free buns were isolated from dangerous wheat. Perfect party...

We don't journal per se. We've put a notebook on our counter. When we have a question, we write it down, leave pen and wait for someone to answer. Sometimes days, sometimes minutes. Then one day we heard someone say we can't read that funny writing. When we checked the journal, a, b, c was...

Wondering if you have a Therapist who would be willing to see you both together. I can't imagine I could sanely or semi sanely be around someone who was part of my abuse. As I ponder what you said about the plastic silverware, I don't know if I'd be more afraid of them or what I'd do. Hope you...

You did not make het offer reduced rate. Her decision. You did not make her squeeze you in. Her decision. Sounds like she was trying to make you responsible or guilty for her decisions.

Ha, ha,! Some help is no help at all! My last CKCS was also a therapy dog. I called it *go to sleep*. She would wag her tail. I,'d say Ah and she'd stop. But soon I'd hear people giggling cuz her tail was going again! Love your tree planting story. Sounds hilarious. She's a smart puppy. Just...

I understand. I stop thinking. I stop understanding a word that is being said. I go straight to *me bad* need to be hiding, can't even think of escape. Your are not alone. Take care of yourself.

That was so horrible. So scary. So sorry that happened. Hope you are feeling a little better now.

I make it difficult to get the tools for accomplishing that. Nothing easily close at hand. I don't get upset anymore when the thoughts come. Even agree with myself that that would easily solve a problem. Get out of the darkness. Made a list with things I have to do first. My T said if I really...

What great ideas. The one we call Tdying Up! Your mess!! You reminded me that York won't even take a piece of food tossed to him. Being a KING doesn't take food thrown at him. It falls to the floor. Then he examines it. I also think I'm his royal food taster! So bouncing the ball is a perfect...

Ha, ha. Glad to hear of a smaller dog in Service.

IMHO you need to tell your T. He's there to help but he can't help if he doesn't know what's going on. It took me a longer time than I want to admit, to realize my T has heard it all before, helped people thru it before and had valuable knowledge I just might learn from. His suggestions were at...