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SERPS was replaced by S2P (State Second Pension). Both are effectively a top-up to your basic State Pension, and are only paid out when you start receiving that at State Pension age (or later). They are not technically contributory, however the amount of National Insurance you have paid...

This ^^

Hi Meggles, welcome. My husband has PTSD as a result of his experiences as a police officer, although he is now medically retired. As people have already said there is no 'one size fits all' answer, you have to find what works best for you. When my hubby has an 'outburst' I walk away. I...

My husband was in the Met at the time, and the 7th and 8th of July are also his biggest 'trauma-versaries'. I made a post in the Supporter section about how he is being incredibly clingy today, rather than isolating, which surprised me. He doesn't talk much about those two days, but when he...

Today and tomorrow are a huge trauma anniversary for hubby, and he said last night that he doesn't want to be alone. Thankfully my boss has agreed that today can be 'take your husband to work' day, and tomorrow I can work from home. Hubby is so clingy he came and sat in the bathroom whilst I...

I answered for my hubby; he hates them. He can cope if he's expecting them (although he still doesn't like them), but when it's sudden he tends to freeze. It's the noise more than the lights for him.

It does seem to feel like something always crops up to mess up plans, doesn't it? I've lost count of the number of times I've though "why couldn't that have come up tomorrow instead of today?". I think my 'favourite' one was hubby's sergeant calling for a catch up chat the morning of our...

Well, yay! Of course he's going to worry, and so are you. Nobody, in any relationship knows what the future holds. But here and now you want to be together, so make the most of that. As for the potential meltdown, you just have to manage it as best you can. Would he cope better if you...

Excellent, and I love that font :tup:

That made me laugh!

Saw this on Facebook, thought people might be interested. http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/vaccine-help-ptsd

Hey @Peach, my hubby was medically retired from the MoD (civilian) police last year. It took 18 months of disagreements between AToS and the MoD, during which time he received no support, only thinly veiled attempts to get him to resign. The system is just downright pants!

Yay you! :tup:

Ask him to help you find a place, surely he wants to make sure his child (if no one else) has somewhere appropriate to move to? Sorry you are going through this :hug:

I used to write letters when my sufferer did something I found upsetting. I find it difficult to explain my feelings when I am upset or angry, in fact those two emotions get very easily mixed up for me, so writing was easier. My husband has actually taught me how to verbalise my feelings...

I have a few very close friends, and lots of acquaintances. I am very careful what and how I tell the former, and don't tell the latter anything. Family is split into these two categories. Only three people have seen behind my 'coping mask'; my husband (and PTSD sufferer), one of my best...

This ^ Hubby got triggered yesterday but had no idea why. From the language he used to describe his afternoon I think I have an idea, but I'm not going to tell him in case I'm wrong and it causes him unnecessary anxiety.

Sorry to hear that, and good luck for the job hunting.

It's easier with 'others'. They don't know him, so he can be whoever he wants/can be with them. Hubby can be going through a bad patch, barely talking to me, certainly not laughing or being affectionate. But he will speak to his parents and kids every day, laughing and joking, saying how great...

I don't know if it helps, but there were a lot of people who truly believed it was a good treatment (at the time), and the 'ice-pick' method was developed to make it more accessible to those who couldn't afford the surgical approach. (I do agree with you though, that it all seems rather...

It is still an available form of treatment in the UK, although since the early 80s it has been a requirement that you are over 18 and able to consent to it. It is referred to as psychosurgery or neurosurgery. So I'm afraid it is possible. But would it not be in your medical notes?

Ultimately you have to do what is best for your wellbeing, and you know that better than anyone else. Bear in mind that he may not react the way you hope (i.e. work on his temper) and he may feel (even if it isn't true) that you are abandoning him.

I went with Wrath, just in case my username isn't a sufficient clue about my favourite colour :smug:

Hi @ShotGunRider I think this is very important. You need to know who you are, what you want, and what you are prepared to deal with: Not sure about this though: You will see lots on here about sufferers isolating and it is usually a defence mechanism. Protection from feelings and being...

Hi Sighs I'm sorry to hear things are so bad. I realise your message was several hours ago, so you may have already made a decision by now. I hope you do whatever is right for you, and look after yourself. I know sometimes I just need space to think. X