Angelica_89
New Here
The past month or so has been a blur for me and extremely stressful. I've been on/off again with my sufferer for about a year and a half now. It's been tough and we go through periods of a couple of months where things are good and then he goes into an isolation period that lasts about a week or so. No matter how bad the isolation period is though, he's always been someone I can count on to help me with work on my vehicle or giving me advice on work or giving me rides to the airport. He likes showing his value through little things like this and being that he's so good at different things I find it hard to show my gratitude towards him, I feel like I don't give him enough. As a result, any time I go on a work trip or anytime I see something that he may like I end up getting it for him and this is what set him off this go around.
About a month ago, I went to Colorado for a business trip. We hung out as usual before the trip, stayed in communication throughout, and hung out the night I came back into town. Immediately after that night, he was a bit offish but nothing too unusual. Prior to that I had ordered him a gift online and it arrived the same week I was back in town so naturally I gave it to him a couple of days after returning. He accepted it and didn't say much of anything about it (he's not one to say thank you too often). I texted him that night to tell him to let me know if what I got him fit and if not I could exchange it for another size. He proceeded to tell me not to buy him anything anymore and that he didn't like receiving anything from ANYONE (he made an emphasis on anyone). I left it alone and just attributed it to him having a rough day. A few days later I sent him messages every now and then about my day or asking how he was without any real response from him. I figured he was going into one of his isolation periods so decided to just let him be. After a week or so I sent him a message asking if he wanted to hang out to which he said no. A couple of days later I asked again and was denied. During this entire period I see him on a daily basis as we both train at the same gym but with little interaction. He was talking to every one else like everything is perfect but either ignores me or is very short with me. Then on a Saturday I asked to come over to him to watch the UFC fights (he doesn't really like going out to watch the fights) and he told me no because he was going to go out with some of the guys from the gym. This is where things went wrong on my part and I reacted rather than think clearly. I was hurt and ended up sarcastically replying "Glad you're in the mood to at least hang out with them" to which he replied "f*ck off, ass". So at this point I knew things were bad, he's called me names like this only one other time but this felt different. Later that night I apologized for my sarcastic comment and for being unfair with him but told him that the way he behaved hurt bad sometimes. As is his nature, he didn't reply. I saw him at the gym a few days later and he talked to me as if nothing was wrong but acted a bit guarded with me. I wanted to talk to him about the way he reacted with me but figured it was pointless. A few days later I asked to hang out with him and he didn't answer, I then asked for him to just communicate what he needed with me. That was when he told me he wanted to stop our visits and didn't want to have me over to his place to hang out or anything. This came like a punch in the stomach to me and I asked what I did wrong but of course received no reply. We see each other regularly at the gym but he acts so different with me compared to everyone else. I don't know what to do...
At this point I'm wondering if I should just leave well enough alone and move on. It hurts to think that's the case but I'm not sure how to even react to the situation, it stresses me out to the point that I've allowed it to control my days. I'm heading out of town this week and of course he offered to take me to the airport but other than that he hasn't answered any of my text messages. My biggest question is why he's treating everyone else at the gym so different from me, I've shown him how much I care for him and how much I'm willing to try but he still treats me as if I'm just another acquaintance. I've seen him at his most vulnerable state and I also know he's capable of so much love but I'm not sure it's worth me pursuing or trying with him anymore. I'm giving him his space now but it's been difficult seeing him interact with everyone else as if they're his best friends and act like I don't exist. I guess in the end all I want is for him to be happy and okay but I wish he would let me be a part of that.
About a month ago, I went to Colorado for a business trip. We hung out as usual before the trip, stayed in communication throughout, and hung out the night I came back into town. Immediately after that night, he was a bit offish but nothing too unusual. Prior to that I had ordered him a gift online and it arrived the same week I was back in town so naturally I gave it to him a couple of days after returning. He accepted it and didn't say much of anything about it (he's not one to say thank you too often). I texted him that night to tell him to let me know if what I got him fit and if not I could exchange it for another size. He proceeded to tell me not to buy him anything anymore and that he didn't like receiving anything from ANYONE (he made an emphasis on anyone). I left it alone and just attributed it to him having a rough day. A few days later I sent him messages every now and then about my day or asking how he was without any real response from him. I figured he was going into one of his isolation periods so decided to just let him be. After a week or so I sent him a message asking if he wanted to hang out to which he said no. A couple of days later I asked again and was denied. During this entire period I see him on a daily basis as we both train at the same gym but with little interaction. He was talking to every one else like everything is perfect but either ignores me or is very short with me. Then on a Saturday I asked to come over to him to watch the UFC fights (he doesn't really like going out to watch the fights) and he told me no because he was going to go out with some of the guys from the gym. This is where things went wrong on my part and I reacted rather than think clearly. I was hurt and ended up sarcastically replying "Glad you're in the mood to at least hang out with them" to which he replied "f*ck off, ass". So at this point I knew things were bad, he's called me names like this only one other time but this felt different. Later that night I apologized for my sarcastic comment and for being unfair with him but told him that the way he behaved hurt bad sometimes. As is his nature, he didn't reply. I saw him at the gym a few days later and he talked to me as if nothing was wrong but acted a bit guarded with me. I wanted to talk to him about the way he reacted with me but figured it was pointless. A few days later I asked to hang out with him and he didn't answer, I then asked for him to just communicate what he needed with me. That was when he told me he wanted to stop our visits and didn't want to have me over to his place to hang out or anything. This came like a punch in the stomach to me and I asked what I did wrong but of course received no reply. We see each other regularly at the gym but he acts so different with me compared to everyone else. I don't know what to do...
At this point I'm wondering if I should just leave well enough alone and move on. It hurts to think that's the case but I'm not sure how to even react to the situation, it stresses me out to the point that I've allowed it to control my days. I'm heading out of town this week and of course he offered to take me to the airport but other than that he hasn't answered any of my text messages. My biggest question is why he's treating everyone else at the gym so different from me, I've shown him how much I care for him and how much I'm willing to try but he still treats me as if I'm just another acquaintance. I've seen him at his most vulnerable state and I also know he's capable of so much love but I'm not sure it's worth me pursuing or trying with him anymore. I'm giving him his space now but it's been difficult seeing him interact with everyone else as if they're his best friends and act like I don't exist. I guess in the end all I want is for him to be happy and okay but I wish he would let me be a part of that.
