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Thats the thing, I don't have any way of contacting her..

I just don't trust my mom not to tell everyone. When she found out I had PTSD she told so many people. Plus she makes everything about her and would turn even this to be about her and I just can't handle that. I've only told 2 other people (aside from online here) besides my therapist. I can't...

Thanks @HollyBeans27 . She does know the anniversary is tomorrow and we talked about i the past 2 weeks. I had planned to stay busy, but now with the car issues that plan has gone out the window. Plus I've had worse vertigo spells and migraines. I'm suppose to have a training class tomorrow...

Tomorrow is the day... the one year anniversary of being raped. I've dreaded this day for a few weeks. On top of it my birthday is exactly one week after and hasn't been great in years, but was incredibly horrid last year due to the rape. Very few people know. I've been trying to stay busy, but...

I'm hoping I am able to do it. My mom is off that day which means I am going to want to spend most of the day out of the house. Personally I wish she was working so I could just load up on sleeping meds and sleep..

yeah thats the issue.. The only people I feel I could do that with live 3 hrs or 8 hrs away. I want to spend a little time volunteering at the humane society if I am stable.. I don't know what else to do though. I'm sorry you are struggling with this too.

Until last year all of my traumas were "complex" as in years of constant physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. There is no one day that sticks out, just a constant blur of pain and dissociation. But this year is different. November 3rd is the one year anniversary to me being raped. I don't...

I never got to finish the material and had a horrid experience that resulted in the tipping point of me attempting suicide and ending up in the psych unit. Now understand it was not the material, but the therapist. She was so rigid in her thoughts that she left me feeling hopeless about my...

While I don't agree with that your main goal should be to recover memories, I do think you need to find a GOOD trauma therapist. I have complex trauma (MANY traumas over my whole life, abuse, etc). I have some memories, but when it comes to the abuse from my dad, the memories can be tricky and...

Thanks everyone. @FridayJones logically I know that, but can't bring myself to know it emotionally. I told as a child, or well rather the bruises told for me then I was sent to a psychiatrist/therapist to tell. Other stuff in EMDR I've been able to say and let go and cry, but with this trauma it...

@FridayJones Nov 10 is my birthday…but its not a great day. especially this year as my latest trauma happened just a week prior. @UpTillDawn Friday is right, sometimes it takes a few days to get over a sickness. If you think work would be too much, then it probably will be. Do you have a good...

So today we had our second session on my 3rd target with EMDR. We are working on one of my longer term traumas- the abuse I went through by my dad and his now ex wife. Thursday we got the intensity rating from a 10 to a 7. I had a LOT of flashbacks and repressed memories come up after that...

Welcome to the forum :) You have found a close knit community here who help support each other through the ups and downs of living with PTSD and life. I am so sorry you went through this, but I do understand. I was raped this past November, but by a stranger (well kind of). My roommate had a...

I did play therapy as a child until my mom quit taking me. Now though, my current T encourages me to do a LOT of art therapy/journaling as a coping skill and a lot of hobbies (knitting, reading, etc). We also have used some cards in therapy once. SIMILAR to the old ink blot cards, but more...

I'm sorry, I know that is hard. I hope you can work something out soon, even if it's phone sessions on the weeks you can't see her or emails. I know for me I could not do it without seeing my T at least once a week. Yeah, I could see that being an issue. It helps me because I like to fidget...

There are also hand vibrators that you can use too, that is what i use. I can't do the finger follow because of head injury it hurts my eyes. Wow, you are doing EMDR and only seeing her twice a month? That would be hard! Before starting emdr, I saw my T once a week, now when we do EMDR, I see...

doing a bit better, but not much. Ended up making an emergency trip to my hometown 3 hours away because Bristol started having blood in her urine and was in pain. She passed a stone and has a UTI. The vet put her on antibiotics and I am adding cranberries to her supplements. I was a complete...

This post could have very well been my own. I just started on my 3rd round of EMDR Thursday. We are targeting my biggest trauma and I ended up calling my T yesterday due to suicidal thoughts the night before. But in the past EMDR has helped and we knew this was going to be the worst. I...

I just got off the phone with my therapist.. she talked with me for 20 minutes. She went through the container exercise with me again and told me to do some others.. She wants me to go for a walk at the park with Bristol and try to do some things to get my mind off it. She says the crying was...

Sorry guys I never responded back. I ended up taking several meds to make me sleep. I was at the point that I knew if I didn't I would end up needing to go to the ER. As is I still had a nightmare/flashback and I realized why I quit taking sleeping meds, they make it harder to snap out of it...

I have taken 2 klonopin, but they haven't helped. I cried for 2 hours straight, now I am fighting dissociation very hard… Im so exhausted I don't feel like getting out of bed, but Im terrified to sleep.

I am not in a good place mentally tonight… I am very unstable, exhausted, and triggered.. I was okay when I left my therapist, but when I got home I lost it..

I struggle with this too. I'm afraid if I am honest with people, they will hate me, judge me, punish me, etc. It causes SEVERE anxiety for me when thinking about what someone else thinks about my issues.

:hug: I am extremely thankful to hear from you! I am sorry the hospital gave you a hard time. But I am glad you went and sought help of some sort, that took courage. As for the Ativan, have you ever tried it in pill form? For me it is not sedating, but then again I have a rather high tolerance...

How are you today? Did you go to the hospital?? I am thinking of you and worried about you. I hope you got the help you needed, whatever that was. You are very much so cared about by us here, please let us know if you can that you are okay!