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. For me I did need to understand, so I could learn how to not go through it again, or if I did, without as much intensity:) I haven't read them but I see some thread on here that may be similar to what u are going through, when we have the long standing trauma, I believe we often have similar...

Hi, I am new here too, as far as the thearpy and gut feeling, that is so hard, when am I being resistive and when am I right on? I guess it doesn't matter too much, I am not going to get far if I don't feel safe initially. That's why I like peer support, like this, doesn't set off so much and...

Protected and safe while I read all what u all write, smiling, I feel caring :)

I so feel what u are going through, I am 51 and just last couple of years have stayed out of relationships, because of becoming so lost and confused, it gets boring and lonely at times, but I would get to where u are. The only thing I know for sure is the remedy for all is to learn the best we...

The worst part for me was I would go through all that and then still miss him, attachment problems, when I learned about trauma bonds it started to get better, lots of into on line. I keep logging off and then think of these things. I have been there it stinks to say the least. Take the best...

And men here this stuff from woman too, I just heard the accounts from woman :)

Oh my gosh, the list you wrote sounded just like the lists I have heard, and other women who I know have been told. While of course there is a little reality in a few of the statements (just enough to make us doubt) it was so clear from your first posting how much u cared and how much u were...

@hodge, well it may be coincidental, but I doubt it, prayers work. I have been reading on here last hour and I have renewed faith and hope . Just came back here to write my spirt is back ! I hadn't been able to read this website since I joined except in a few five min increments here and there...

Just read through most of your thread, thank u so much! I do much better with routines, once I get them going I stick with them. I wrote a very similar plan for myself when I started on the site a couple of weeks ago, it sounds like alot but when the momentum gets going they kind of all...

Prayers are awesome! Please do:)

I am not sure what to say, new here too, what I am thinking is u were really strong being able to go through that in a different city, no matter what shape u are in now u are strong:):):) I hope u and your son can do something really relaxing and nururing:)

I go Tuesday, 900 am, good point getting spots removed is a pain too :) good thinking!

@hodge have u had spots removed?

Hi:) I didnt know how to respond when u posted about asking pastor, glad others stepped in:) running the meetings sounds like a great idea, helps me at times like this, to feel of use! Still struggling along myself, wishing u well!

So much for my lofty goals of learning to be happy, now I am back to surviving the winter. Don't know what is going on scary depression, like I have not had in years, bordering on psychotic, things looking weird, smells being strong, food gross. It may be just I have gotten rid of all my...

Down to 14 mg nicotine patch, day three now. Increased depression, paranoia,.anxiety but not making it worse, knowing this is what happens when I go off cigs the nicotine. Unfortunately the world and it's people seem to be in a very hostile tense place so may not just be my withdrawal. I will...

Not sure if I am doing this reply thing right we will see what happens, may be a long quote! I was just thinking about how I came to know there were alot of people who were alone at the holidays and become ok with it, because the first few that was the problem, I felt shame, like a loser, when...

Hi, I don't have any wonder cures, but wanted to say I am in a similar situation, by myself, camping m for Christmas and new years. I can tell u the things that help me. Like u my radio is awesome, I read, my dog really helps, I am never really alone, spirtual connection, eating alot of protein...

I just recently restarted dbt, working hard on it, for me it really pays off, hope it does for u too:)

Great thread! Thanks for writing, I agree that it changes through life span and sometimes second to second, sometimes it is just survival for me, them when it gets better it is do no harm, if better help others (mostly those that have experienced similar stuff to me) on a really good day be...

I have the same take with much of what u wrote, I had to read fast I am camping full time to minimize as many of the control variables as possible! Battery on phone always a concern. I learned how to camp well from some veterans we have alot in common. Thanks for writing

This is why it is good for me to write, reality check:) ate better than usual today I was thinking, 1 hotdog, 6 tortillas Hamburg and cheese. Got a ways to go to healthy eating!

Crow feather, thank so much it was! Read some of your diary last night could relate, u were on an airplane, getting boots prepared for Paris right on! I was there for a day, dashing through the louve, daughter and I had a three week eurrail pass, hope day is good:) I did it yesterday, spent...

I really do appreciate u saying that out loud, I thought about when I was younger and trying so many different meds and when someone would swear one worked and it didn't for me it was so discouraging... cant be said enough! Also I have run into different ones working at different times of my...

December 2 So relieved to have found this site, wasn't aware how alone I was feeling. Knew I was scared. I quit smoking cigarettes 32 days ago, after a life time of them, started at 14 after being raped, now 51. Like every other time I have quit it takes me back to feeling vulnerable...