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@Abstract - I don't think Elsa's sister means to inflict trauma, but I also don't think that means it's not abusive. Violating another person's boundaries is abusive, by my measure. It doesn't matter why it's done, or that the intentions themselves aren't sinister. I also don't think it means...

@Lucycat - I overlooked that, my apologies. Thank you for correcting me. Elsa has told her sister to piss off: She's also spoken to her mother about it, to no avail. This is my basic understanding and use of the term sexual abuse: Sexual abuse is forcing undesired sexual behaviour by one...

@Abstract, what qualifies as intent to you? The fact that Elsa's sister is deliberately engaging in sexual behaviour that includes Elsa after Elsa has asked her to stop including Elsa seems to indicate some form of intent. Exactly how many times does one have to say no before it becomes sexual...

I'm honestly a little flabbergasted by the ways in which this is being minimized and dismissed as merely awkward or almost normal. Masturbation is normal, sure, but it's abnormal to masturbate in front of a family member and it's abnormal to masturbate in front of another person when they've...

Some of these are allegedly serious but they still make me giggle. Trailer Park Boys Revenge Scandal Vampire Diaries Veronica Mars Downtown's batsu games + Silent Library General Hospital The Bold and The Beautiful Yes, Minister Yes, Prime Minister Monty Python's And Now for Something...

@Britt.f7, that's the place I'm in now too. Trying to figure out how to unlearn negative self-esteem and learn (for the first time, really) positive self-esteem. If you figure out how to do it, please share!

@The Albatross - Are you referring to the Japanese version? If so, they also have a batsu game every new year that is pretty hilarious. Misfits

What exactly are you looking for in/from therapy? Would would a reasonable, non-nonsensical, reasonably uncomplicated therapy/treatment look like to you? What do you expect and want to do to make things better? How much effort are you willing to expend?

Is it common for you to lash out at people when you don't get the response or behaviour that you want from others? I ask because that's how I'm interpreting this comment and the disparaging remarks you made about your wife. What do you hope to achieve from this comment? What does unbiased and...

Your wife asked you not to phone her. You solicited your mother to phone your wife on your behalf. That is not neutral. That is you attempting to reach out and have contact with your wife via your mother. That is you (and your mother) disrespecting your wife's clearly articulated boundary. You...

I may be wrong here, but I thought grounding was kind of the opposite of a distraction or escape. I think it and SE and mindfulness and energy work are all about learning to be present in the moment instead of trying to escape or distract oneself from it. So are you getting angry because it...

I would find this really difficult in your shoes, because it puts your safety and well-being at risk. Would it be possible to transfer his paycheck (minus his allowance) to another bank account for bills? That way he can't spend money that's earmarked for other things. One thing I do that may...

I'm not sure it matters whether a person intends to be abusive or not - the results are the same either way. And sometimes abusive people do behave in perfectly lovely, sweet, considerate ways. That's why it's a cycle. You may think your wife being upset with and yelling at your mom is...

I have no doubt you do love her, and I didn't mention this in my earlier post, but I feel like I really, really understand where you're coming from. I have PTSD and I suspect my partner does too, but we didn't know how to manage things and we really hurt each other. We took time out of the...

@Psalm_23, I just want to say wow. You have made some very big, very important, very impressive changes. Good for you! I hope this message doesn't sound patronizing, but seriously, changing thought patterns is hard work and I am really impressed by how many movements you've made in such a short...

Just because we act out in ways that are "common" or "not as bad" as other people have doesn't mean that we don't/haven't caused (sometimes irreparable) damage. We didn't understand, we do now, we want to make it better, and yes, it is a terrible disabling illness, but that doesn't mean that we...

What makes it seem like it's heading for failure? I don't think I noticed any substantial difference with therapy until after I'd been attending for a year to a year and a half. It's only in retrospect that I can look back and take stock of the drastic difference between where I was when I...

I think that's pretty amazing of you, Britt. And even if you do have the reputation of "non fun aunt", I wonder if they've internalized it positively anyway and if they also know that they can go to you when there's a crisis/problem. That's how I imagine it. If I'd had someone like that in my...

She did try to support you but now she has to take care of herself. Love and support for another should not come at the expense of love, respect and care of oneself. You lied and broke trust repeatedly, you bailed on your relationship more than once, and yeah, she probably lost hope, faith and...

I remember reading a study where a group of university men were asked if they would ever rape someone. They mostly answered no. The question was then rephrased to exclude the term rape but described rape and something like 1/4 or more answered yes. This is what terrifies me. I think there are...

This post really resonated with me. For the bulk of my life, this is exactly how I felt, especially in romantic relationships. Because of my traumas and the ways in which I internalized them, I felt like the only way to be loved was to be perfect/the best/the only. I felt deeply threatened by...

If it is indulgent, please indulge. You're allowed to want support and care, and you deserve it. And I bet you'll receive it. I mean it.

@universechick - I wonder if it might be the case that all of the "bad" feelings that you were never safely able to express got kind of bundled together and took on a little bit of life of their own. You would know much better than I, but I guess I'm thinking of times when I haven't been/felt...

I haven't yet made the leap to a trauma diary and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to, but I do keep a handwritten journal to help me organize and process my trauma, thoughts, feelings, stress responses, goals, accomplishments, etc. Writing helps to calm and center me. It also helps me identify...

I feel really ambivalent about being and appearing female. One of the things I have trouble with is my fear of failing to adequately perform femininity. It's funny because I dress in a very feminine way, but I'm often afraid to try things with makeup and hair because I'm afraid I'll look worse...