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life is so complicated should we choose are own experience or someone elses

I guess a lot of it depends on which stage of recovery your at .

Hi guys looking for your advice and experience....I went abstinent a few years ago to sort my life out and my binge drinking was a distraction...I did so without rehab or withdrawal so I don't believe I was an alcoholic..i don't want to get drunk again I hate the feeling and the hangovers and I...

I do have some limited contact with my sister and father . its more a case of me knowing now I am not going to get what i need from them. i am happy i have reached a point with them were i am just able to be civil with them and / or just leave them be if there having a funny turn. it makes me...

So part two as i got so emotional writing that. I have finally realise i need to let go of this dream of happy endings. I have to focus my energy on healing my self now.

I am grateful i am finally learning to put my self first.

Your real freinds will have no problem with you taking time for your self

i am grateful for PTSD.com for giving me this space to take stock of my family situation to help me process my greif this christmas...I am really identifying with this emotion this christmas I always used to run away from it every christmas...I am still trying to a little..i just very nearly...

I wont do this to my self anymore it seems like to try to love you is to just receive pain

As an adult christmas for me has always been about running away from myself through various means,,,drugs alcohol sex e.t.c. its taken me a long time to learn what it is i am running away from ..even when i got sober the feelings did not come back right away...until this year...I just feel such...

hey guesss what guys . THEY TEXTED BACK whhoooooooooooooooooop :-))))))) absolutely no problems. what dramas I can create for my self

I have come to a decision that personally it is not a way I would like to go. every other drug I tried always ended in tears and addiction its impossible for me to predict if this would be any different, for even though it is said its not addictive I believe anything in life can potentially be...

Hello thanks . my understanding of this is that a person would have to be in a paticuarly mature stage of there healing to withstand such an experience. reading it makes me feel a bit frightened which suggests I am not at such a stage if I ever would be to consider such an approach. I think a...

I was surprised to discover some articles about people using magic mushrooms and it has had benifets for there PTSD. Surprised because I always felt it was trauma healing orthodoxy that drugs are bad full stop unless there prescribed.So many people who are traumatised are in various twelve step...

Thanks for all your great advice. I am just setting an intention now to break this behavioural process of fishing for reassurance and jabbing for acknowledgment. The only good reason to text them back would be because we both like going to some music event but this is not until January, which...

sometimes they text back sometimes they don't. This is the tricky thing I know I cant assume a non reply means outright rejection but then what is difficult is the uncertainty of things. this is when I can go into controlling mode and begin texting again and again fishing for reassurance...

yes thanks your right I think the fact I am aware of it and the feelings and the desire to defeat it is the first step to change

I hate it so much when I text someone and they don't text back. I feel in turmoil I just really want to hear from them. when they don't I am full of oh whats wrong with me. then I hate them for there invalidation of me. its so self centred because its not as though them getting back to me is...

I don't know what it is maybe there is some part of me that is still not able to digest it. I would prefer to not keep on going over it but every time I have hope I wont have it again I do. I am starting to learn in this business of trauma is maybe some things will go but maybe some things will...

Mother was murdered. I had that dream again that she was not really. and it is someone else in that hole in the ground. then i wake up and remember mother was murdered and I hope i do not have that dream again but maybe I always will.

I think the big challenge facing me is turning an anxious attachment in to a secure attachment...rather than just going back into avoidance and running away from it which i acheive by creating a big drama and then the crazyness they can not see becomes obvious and then i have blown it and then i...

Yeah I suffer with a lot of inner conflict about AA as in many ways it has got me to were I am now and have made good freinds there, but I think the flaws are glaringly obvious and it can be a potentially abusive system if your in a vulnerable place. i am not anti AA I am pro AA reform and...

V is for vulnerability. Working on relational healing. just discovering I am the anxious/ avoidant attachment type due to the physical and emotional unavailability of my family. Which I understand to be I am either super Needless.....F@#k you all....or super needy OHMYGOD if you don't text me...

Just to be fair I think I was a bit of a nightmare to some members in the beginning myself.

AA is much better when your boundaries are stronger and your good at discerning who to avoid. I had problems at the beginning with people who were just as unwell as me assuming a sort of authority over me...I learnt that how long someone has been sober is no measure of how healthy they are. In...