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It's a big transition but it sounds like you have a good plan in place. How did it go?

It's going to be hard for us to say if it's abusive or not. It seems like it is something that has impacted you though, so that matters. I have a similar memory with my dad. As he was also sexually abusive to me in other ways, that instant also feels abusive (not sure if that makes sense). How...

Yes, this is definitely helpful. // I asked Tat and he is coming out when I have my surgery. So that's really good. It was hard to ask but he was great. I was kind of a wreck yesterday. I talked to my surgeon's PA. Most like surgery will have to be 9/6. Oh well. She is going to talk to him...

Was really low. Trying to pull myself out of that. I am a planner/doer, so focusing on that instead of the wait will probably help me. What I've done so far- Left a message with my doctor's PA trying to get clarification on what timing the 6 weeks is based on (day I tested positive? day I...

I totally get it, because I do it. What I notice in your posts is a lot of labeling- "shameful", "bad", "sneaky", etc. Part of working on behaviors can be taking away, or changing the labels. That can take some of the power away from the behaviors and make them easier to manage. Yes. And you...

Thanks all. I really appreciate it. I did leave a message asking if I could be put on the wait list. I also should talk to her again and clarify the timing. It seems like she's counting 6 weeks from when my surgery is scheduled, not 6 weeks from when I got covid. That doesn't make a lot of sense...

I'm curious as to what you want to get from a diagnosis and what you want to get from therapy?

So, as some of you know, I was scheduled to get spinal surgery July 5th. The long story short is that I now have covid and because of that they are postponing mu surgery until September 6th. It's been such a long haul. I've been pushing myself hard to keep working and get things done prior to...

I'm sorry. That's super disappointing. Harder to deal with the disappointment when you feel so miserable. Sending out support and healing your way.

For me, it's the dad who does this shit to me. And maybe the brother, but I get muddled thinking about that. And what you said about acting stupid, I need to think on. I think that explains one of my defense mechanisms. That is so true This is so completely the truth. I remember getting an...

Hard to know, without having all the context, but I'd have found it slightly odd. But I completely agree with Movingforward. Since she moved on with her questions I wouldn't find it that odd. And it might be good to explore why you are still thinking about it.

Thank you all, your replies have been helpful. I felt relief at the idea I don't have to forgive. I wonder why I feel I have to forgive? The first thing that comes to mind is my family told me I have to. Sigh. Acceptance...hmm... What does acceptance look like? I may have to think about...

I know it's come up before, but it's been a while since a thread has been made on this subject. My T and I were talking about forgiveness, specifically regarding my dad. He didn't just abuse me, he abused my brother and mother. He abused animals. I don't know if I can forgive that. I told my...

Of course. Sigh. So yeah, I know. I should extend the same caring to me. umm.. ok. If my needs impinge upon other people, I'm too needy? I don't know. I guess I feel like I should be able to resolve things myself. If i'm involving other people that's a problem. Also if my needs just get too...

Dealing with an alcoholic is hard. It's so easy to get hurt and entangled. I think on some level you probably know, it's not as straight forward as him choosing the drink over you. When there's addiction happening, thinking is distorted and it's so easy to slide back into the disease.

I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago. Like SRG said, you get good at watching your finances like a hawk. You adjust. But the burden of now having that crushing debt makes it worthwhile. Not sure where you live but there are a lot of resources out there. Debt counseling and stuff. Just make sure you go...

Ugh. Hate birthdays. Sorry you are struggling. Say more when you can.

Thank you all for your replies. My brain is being dumb. I feel like I can't ask for pain meds. That I will be too needy or come across as med seeking if I do. Great tips about the anesthesiologist. I will definitely talk to them. I also need to tell them I get super nauseous after anesthesia...

Sorry about your back, Friday Goat for today- Don't push too hard.

Well, this morning I decided to make a list of things I need to do prior to surgery and work up a schedule and stuff. (I am a planner). And I did that. And right now the anxiety is on over drive. The list of things I need to do is long but I am ok with it. I have a plan. Then I got to the list...

Congratulations. It's such a scary thing to do. And it's such a relief to be able to be your true self. I also have zero regrets

ever since I was a young kid, I've wanted to open up an animal rescue. I'd specialize in special needs pets and put my veterinary nurse skills to use. So that dream never goes away. Right now? I'd settle for paying off my medical bills. Being able to buy groceries, gas, meds and such without...

Well, after a lot of waiting and appointments and frustrations I finally have surgery scheduled! It will be July 5th. My best friend is coming up for the first week. She will be in my house while am the hospital to take care of my animals. That's a huge relief. And I should only be in the...

Thanks everyone. Your responses were about what I suspect. I appreciate it. That's a good idea Of course. To clarify, I've had suspicions but have kept an open mind. I had said nothing to him about what I suspected. The reason I brought this up here, now, is because a few sessions his T...

Yes, I have very much experienced that. It's a hard feeling. I'm not sure if I've really dealt with it. I think I've probably mostly repressed the feeling. No, you are not. I guess I have worked through this part. You are being abusive or dysfunctional to them. So you aren't contributing. And...