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I actually. think that the degree of anti social behavior is the same for both genders, it's just that it doesn't get acted out in the same way. Male APD is more likely to get violent, and because of misogyny, it's also more likely to be enacted. But in my experience, women can be every bit as...

I don't know. I kinda think worrying about normal is irrelevant. You have PTSD and what you're dealing with now is your "normal". You learn how to do relationships from the relationships you were surrounded with growing up. If these were deficient and you add PTSD to the mix, you have...

@crazydiamond47 I believe you, the system can sometimes be incredibly abusive when you are looking to receive help. The reality is that you have to believe in yourself and keep moving forward. Those who haven't seen this, find a hard time believing how bad it can get. That of course isn't...

I don't know. I watched several women from my DV group lose their kids in ugly custody battles. APD spouses are known to use false allegations to gain full custody of their children. I think it's harder for this to happen now (I hope) but it still happens. I watched a dedicated SAHM get...

"It's impossible to heal unless the trauma is behind you and you are in a safe space." @eve So true!!!

speakout, I really get why it's hard to leave. Why it's confusing. Your best friend has morphed into someone else and I'm guessing there are enough glimpses of your former best friend to think that maybe you're overreacting or need to give him more chances. My former husband was the...

@She Cat , I can totally relate. For me, birthdays and holidays were abuse time. Time to withhold affection and acknowledgement at best, or to create ugly drama or abuse at worst. The best times ended up when I found some way to be alone. That way I could spend the day with some peace and...

Ugh. I did this for years first with my abusive adoptive mom and then with abusive husband and his family. The weird thing is that on one level I didn't like them or respect them, but then on another level, I would want to please them and get one of their rare dollops of approval. In many...

Mmmmm, I would say that the same thing applies regardless of type of trauma. I've dealt with being taken hostage and held at gun point for 24 hours, several other assaults at gun point (once w/machine gun) many other instances with knives, clubs, fists. Several serious car accidents one so...

Paperwork for taxes. I'm owed $$, so you'd think I'd be dying to get it done. Some of the stuff is connected to traumatic memories, so I keep wimping out and procrastinating. Feeling the double burden, my accountant is chill but I can definitely hear the wtf tone creeping into her voice...

That is insanely messed up BM2A, sounds like people who shouldn't be working in the mental health field. I've had therapist/doctors treat me in this dismissive type manner when they were out of solutions. In fact it seems like many want things to be easy, with a steady progression of "wins"...

People like normal, prefer tidiness. A lot of mental health personnel seem to navigate by stereotypes. What someone suicidal or PTSD, etc should look like. But heaven forbid if you do actually break down and show them your real feelings of fear, etc. Then out come the labels and a perfect...

Sounds like mobbing type behavior. Really sucks. I'm sorry you're having to go through that. Just remember that it's them and not you. And what a sad petty type of person they have to be to behave like that.

An abusive childhood is the sh**tty gift that keeps on giving. Besides leaving with PTSD I had zero life skills. Mom did nothing but abuse, shop (for herself) , watch TV and gossip. Zilch. Nada. I was her emotional punching bag and servant. And since every trivial "mistake" gave her cause...

Sarah726--consider yourself vastly lucky you don't have children with him. I did have the rare opportunity to find out how my abusive ex thought. I don't recommend it. He was severely abused as a child, and had a genuine nice side. Which he essentially used as bait to lure people into...

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I've dealt with stalking and may be again in near future with obsessive in law. It's all about the power and control thing. Controlling you makes them feel in control. And the more disturbed they are, the more obsessed they can get. And it's hard to...

Wow all, these ideas sound really good. This is my number one issue. When I get triggered the negative, self hating inner critic becomes inflamed and it gets pretty overwhelming. What I found with therapy was that this part of me, this inner voice, was an essential part of my survival. My...

Hi crazydiamond, I agree it is about the money. Both the money you have as well as the money folks make at their jobs as school social workers, therapists, psychiatrists etc. The schools themselves can have a vested interest in having special ed kids as they bring in extra $. It's really...

Just wanted to add, I've never known people who were "crazy" in some way not to have experienced or witnessed abuse or neglect or a combination. While I think people have certain genetic markers or proclivities, without the environment it is doubtful they will get expressed. The horrible...

Kicats Hi I'm glad you're reaching out and getting help. I can relate to the years of abuse, and denial of it by others who should know better, leading to the desire to check out. Being abused and then having the reality of it dismissed is a severe double whammy and it can feel like you're...

Wow, that's a lot to be dealing with. I'm not an expert, but your account seems indicative of serious abuse. My former husband was what some might call a Borderpath, Psychopathic with Borderline features. When we separated he fell apart and you could say he behaved very much like he was...

I come from childhood abuse, poor parental role models, isolation growing up and later many additional traumas and abuse. It's like I didn't have any idea what normal was and I just let people drift in and out of my life. It seems most healthy people I know are very deliberate about who they...

Wow! Everyone's stories here are inspiring. I'd say I'm in the process, but not there yet. I feel like my core personality-fairly extroverted/artistic got split off into the servile people pleaser my family and later my ASP husband and family wanted. Really lost myself and have felt...

Wow, my former husband did same--pressured me to get abortion, then later stated he would try and take full custody. Despite showing no genuine interest in our children. Sometimes it seems like these guys have the same handbook for doing heartless evil s**t. DV support groups can be amazing...

On the Rocks by. Grieves